Thursday, December 15, 2011


Hey ho. So there's two more papers to go.

I would say Respiratory Diseases was the paper I felt most unprepared. We finished endocrine at 6pm a day before, and respi's at 12pm the next day, which means we only have one short night to finalize any revision. I even forced myself to drink a can of Redbull, in the hope that it can give me a nocturnal spark, which it actually did. But it left me with only energy without any functioning mind, I find myself in the kitchen at 4am in the morning, nibbling on a slice of bread with chocolate spread on top =.= I decided to sleep for a while, just to let the brain breathe, what I expected to be a short nap turned out to be a 6-hour long sleep, and I woke up at 10am, just 2 hours before the exam, realizing that I have a hugeee amount of reading to do. Panic attack.

And so I run my eyes through the notes, praying hard that Allah will help me catch any important key points. Cycled in the cold to the venue, final scan through the notes, and with a very nervous heart, entered the exam hall. And the rest is history. Tawakkal.

You know, I sometimes wonder if opting for medicine abroad is actually a good idea. Now that I'm finally doing it, I'm starting to get the real taste of it. It doesn't only place a burden on me to perform academically, in fact, it made me sacrifice so many other little things in life. Most significantly, I missed out on family times.

I missed my cousin's wedding, and this is not the first time. I've lost count on how many times I missed weddings.

Mama abah looking good in pink :)

These three gedik girls took a picture which made me screamed out of jealousy.
And Kak Noli looked very princessy :)

I missed numerous family gatherings and trips. Well, of course it's not their fault. Blame all this geographical constraints.

I missed watching adik grow up, and she's almost hitting 12. I can't remember the last time I accompanied her to the playground. Look at her all prim and proper as the flower girl ;) My other little cousins were the flower girls too. Gahhh too cute!

I missed bro time, especially now that ayit's in college, even if I'm back for holidays, he's always away in Subang. To make things even sappier, he'll be off to another continent by early 2013, again separated by distance, and 13 hours of time. Which also means, 2012 would possibly be my last raya with him.

I missed out on watching ira hit teenagehood too. I think she's on some growth hormone or something, now almost as tall as me.

I missed reunions, countless reunions. From primary school to high school. I wonder if they still remember me. =.=

All this struggle of waking up early, sleeping late, working your brain like a dog, everybody else does it too. But I don't know why I keep making it sound like it's a big deal.

I know there's always a reason behind all these. Perhaps they're what it takes for you to get something worth it in the future.

I'm not complaining, because this, will definitely be worth it. inshaAllah

Ok back to work

No comments: