I longed for something I knew I've lost ages ago. When you're unsure of what's ahead of you, you tend to dwell on your past and wonder what made you so happy back then. I am happy now but it's a different kind of happiness, it's a lifeless kind of happiness. Blerghh. It's like you're happy you're now where you wanted to be, doing what you dreamed of doing, but it has lost it's sparkle. (Please change 'you' to 'I', I'm trying to avoid sounding rather diary-like =.=)
I used to keep a diary of the fascinating things I see in my daily medical encounters right from Day 1 of my clinical years (exactly on the 2nd of April 2012) . I have no idea when did I stop, but I did. I stopped enjoying. The Tatty Teddy diary (a birthday gift I kept dearly) now sat on my bookshelf collecting dust :(
Then you saw the people around you, indulging every second of opportunity thrown, and for a second you wish you were them. You wished you had friends like they do, you wished you have someone to turn to. It's like everybody else's have their own private life apart from the one they shared with you, that sometimes you feel lost when they head towards their respective priorities.
Aaanyways, my cousin's (Kak Noli) wedding reception was last weekend! The first Irish wedding I've been to and it was beautiful :) I almost lost my voice because the music was too loud that I have to practically scream to say 'hello'.
Don't wanna throw too much emotions in one post do ya. I guess I just miss being the old me, the KMB me, and the people I did crazy things with. They say absence makes the heart goes fonder, but in my case, absence just makes everything seemed unbearable.