Saturday, October 27, 2007

Expression.


I once read a quote by Hannah Moore in the Chicken Soup,

“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal”

Now those ‘frightful things’ are seriously haunting me, making me feel greatly unsure of what the future has in store for me. JPA has already make it clear of the path the Almighty is carving for me, to be a doctor. And yet I’m afraid that the path might be ruined by my very own mistakes, not setting my eyes on the goal. I’m trying very hard to meet what people around me were expecting from my weak spirit. Each Homo sapiens on Earth, were given brains, so that make us equal. It’s not a matter of getting high marks in each test or the ability to answer monotonous academic questions giftedly that determine how genius and brilliant you are. Come on people. Let’s not put the pressure on those brainy people.

And one more thing, yes indeed I am a scholar who was offered a scholarship to read medicine in Ireland, but there are hundreds of other excellent students who were offered the same scholarship. JPA has set a cut-off point for its scholars, and if you don’t meet their expectations, let’s just bid good-bye to my dream of studying in Ireland. So, please don’t misunderstand, my place in Ireland is NOT guaranteed, and the probability of me flying overseas, perhaps it’s just 20%. I’m just an ordinary IB student, struggling with confusing pure math questions, losing my brains for TOK discussion, greedily collecting CAS hours to fulfill the IB requirement, and praying very hard that He will always be with me and bless me throughout my 2 years here. One thing for sure, I’m not a medic student, so the title ‘doctor’ does not fit in well. How I wish everyone would stop calling me that, as it’s starting to get into my nerves, what if I end up not being the person with the handsome white coat in the hospital. Not graduating with an IB diploma at the end of 2 years means Ireland is just like one of my ordinary dreams to have a candlelight dinner with Daniel Radcliffe, and that also means I’ve wasted 2 years of my life, knowing that I won’t be able to get it back.

Semester exam is just around the corner, and I hope I won’t disappoint my loved ones, who have pour out their hearts and souls just to see me happy with what I’m doing now.

I wish I could bear with weeks of sleepless night before the exam. Sleep is my precious hobby, and sleep is also my biggest enemy XD

There is so much to be revised, with camping-s and CAS activities to be done. Another hectic life.