Today was a good day. A sunny day. The snow is melting. Sky's blue, no rain. Only difference is I felt much older than last Sunday. Well literally memang la day by day we grow old. But today it's different. Maybe because of the conversation I had yesterday :)
Today, in the morning, I walked to a friend's house for a lilbit of sharing. Accompanied by the melting snow and a loud blast of music playing from my ipod. But luckily it's not that slippery. And it was nice actually walking in the morning, with the sunrise and all. Just realized that it's been a long time since my last morning walk. Sampai rumah, started the session. And the first thing someone asked was, give us one word that keeps on dawdling in your mind this week, but no need to elaborate.
Someone started, Malu. The next one. Muhasabah. Somebody else answered, Organised. Sensitif. Qudwah. And a few other interesting answers. When it's my turn, I said,
Yeah. These past few days, well actually these past few weeks, I never quite comprehend why I've been feeling guilty, a lot lately. Not guilty to a certain person, but guilty to myself. And guilty to God. Yes, guilty to God. A guilt in which I have no idea of how in the world can I erase.
And yesterday I realized, I am guilty. I made a huge mistake to God. I broke a promise made a year ago. I changed so significantly.
Two years ago, on this exact date, everything was so different. And yesterday I realized that something has to change if what I wanted is the future.
A future that brings us to heaven and blessed by Him couldn't possibly be built if I acted this way now. So something has to change, I have to change, for the future I dreamt of :)
Something needs to hold on now, because there is something better lined up in the future.
2008. A very happy person indeed.
A girl turning 21 and just realized she's not a girl anymore, she's a woman, with responsibility.
After the sharing session, went home, bake a cake, blogged on this, and will now start studying. So yeah, that's my Sunday :)