Sunday, December 05, 2010

My Sunday.

Today was a good day. A sunny day. The snow is melting. Sky's blue, no rain. Only difference is I felt much older than last Sunday. Well literally memang la day by day we grow old. But today it's different. Maybe because of the conversation I had yesterday :)

Today, in the morning, I walked to a friend's house for a lilbit of sharing. Accompanied by the melting snow and a loud blast of music playing from my ipod. But luckily it's not that slippery. And it was nice actually walking in the morning, with the sunrise and all. Just realized that it's been a long time since my last morning walk. Sampai rumah, started the session. And the first thing someone asked was, give us one word that keeps on dawdling in your mind this week, but no need to elaborate.

Someone started, Malu. The next one. Muhasabah. Somebody else answered, Organised. Sensitif. Qudwah. And a few other interesting answers. When it's my turn, I said,

"Bersalah."

Yeah. These past few days, well actually these past few weeks, I never quite comprehend why I've been feeling guilty, a lot lately. Not guilty to a certain person, but guilty to myself. And guilty to God. Yes, guilty to God. A guilt in which I have no idea of how in the world can I erase.

And yesterday I realized, I am guilty. I made a huge mistake to God. I broke a promise made a year ago. I changed so significantly.

Two years ago, on this exact date, everything was so different. And yesterday I realized that something has to change if what I wanted is the future.

A future that brings us to heaven and blessed by Him couldn't possibly be built if I acted this way now. So something has to change, I have to change, for the future I dreamt of :)

Something needs to hold on now, because there is something better lined up in the future.

2008. A very happy person indeed.

A girl turning 21 and just realized she's not a girl anymore, she's a woman, with responsibility.

After the sharing session, went home, bake a cake, blogged on this, and will now start studying. So yeah, that's my Sunday :)

7 comments:

a.i.s.y.a.h. i.s.m.a.i.l said...

dearest ikaaaaa~ lamenyee x drop comment kt cni!!

ika pe khabar???

hari ni besday ecah ann.. hehe at last sume org da jadi 20s.. sume org dah x de teen till hundred n thirteenn kuikui

hope not toooo late to wish u heppy belated besdayyyy.. haha sedangkan 2 bulan yg lalu... neway kte deduee october babes kan kan? hehe kte dapat jadi sebaya selama 9 hari.. coz urs is on 5th while mine 14th~ hehe (nak gak tuh)

winter ni gi jalan2 mane? i'm going to spain in 2 weeks time.. weeeee~

korg doobliners de exam eh?

all the best! (ika mmg da pandai) tp nk ckp.. moga allah limpahkan ilham yg banyakkk insyaallah~

take care dear.

till we meet again insyaallah.

loves, hugs n kisses!
aisya ismail :)

p/s: ni la akibat da lame x keep in touch ngan org.. comment panjangg. sowieee~

zulaikhazainol said...

AISYAH ISMAIL!!!!
lame sungguh x jumpa anda. and lame sungguh lupa nak tanya khabar aisya canteks :p
hopefully everything's ok over in cardiff! kitorg kt sini da nk start exam sabtu ni.huhu doakan!
winter ni ika g spain n morocco :) weee~ dak2 ucd dublin inshaAllah tgh planning jaulah to spain jugak, tapi ika x follow yg tu.

take care too aisyah! and have fun in spain ;)

lovess to pretty people in cardiff ok :)

mif said...

ikaa
aku pon rase cam kau rase gak ni
camnee ??

tgk pic plak, haaihh tau2 je aku rase mnde same

happy studying beb :)

zulaikhazainol said...

mif; ahaha pic nak nostalgia je kan? :p
owhh feeling guilty jugak ke beb? somehow we'll have to get over it ;)

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