she has a blog

:)

2012-01-28T23:02:00.000Z

"Respect people who find time for you in their busy schedule.
But love people who never look at their schedule when you need them."

Upacara Kot Putih

2012-01-26T21:25:00.000Z

Hello. Assalamualaikum.

On last Tuesday, one of the most anticipated event of the year took place in my university. A ceremony so simple and smooth, nothing fancy, no long speeches or huge crowd of audiences, just family and friends witnessing the first ever clinical white coat worn by their loved ones. I invited Kak Noli, my cousin from Galway, since she's the closest relative I have over here. It's super cool that the event was recorded and aired live on a streaming site, and it's even more sweeter to know that my siblings stayed up from the moment it started (around 2.15am in Malaysia) right up till my turn on stage. Awww. And since my surname starts with Z, I was in the very last group. Ayit keep iMessaging me asking when's my turn. Hahah

Many congratulated, almost regarding the ceremony as my graduation. It's just an annual ceremony to symbolize our start of the clinical years. Less lectures, more hands-on. That's all. Nevertheless, thanks to those who prayed and wished. :)

Presenting, all the 'Z'-s. zainol's zainal's zulkifli's you name it.

Yayyy white-coated!

Housemates sayangg :)

Spot me!

Classmates for another 2.5 years inshaAllahh

Kak Noli thanks for making the effort to come :')

all smiles :)

And of course, yours truly,

I wanna be a doctor when I grow up :)

Ameen.

The morning breakfasts

2012-01-23T21:46:00.000Z

The night time falls. Though she'd love to shut her gift of sight for the day, the reality refrains from drifting away. There she was. Lying still on the creaking bed she now calls home. No place else in the world ever comfort her the way her own warm bed does. As the short arm of her beloved watch, a gift she dearly kept, strikes one, God took her soul for the night, giving it back to her when she wakes up in the morning. Strangely, the night was dreamless.

Morning came. Her second most favourite part of the day, after 'Night'. There she was. Lying still on the creaking bed she now calls home. A few hours ago she wanted reality to go away. Now she rises as reality embraces her again for yet another day. She woke up to the smell of breakfast. A smell so familiar it brought her back to the joyful morning breakfasts she used to have three years ago. And then she realized, that was then. The smell was imaginary. Every morning she wished it was real. But it wasn't, because time was jealous enough to erase every piece of memory she had, of her morning breakfasts three years ago.

Her mind stares blankly to the white ceiling above her. Most days she wakes up on impulse, because reality told her so. She wonders how her day might be, though she knows the end would always be the same, of her wanting reality to leave her alone when night falls. Forcing every twitching muscles in her body to say hello to the beautiful sunrise, she starts her day off heavily. Always wishing for the morning breakfasts she used to have three years ago.

The old new.

2012-01-22T18:14:00.002Z

Hello. Surprise, surprise, blogger pun dh ada template baru. Confusing, need time to know how it works, much the same as the facebook timeline.

Now I realized how things around me are constantly changing and I have to adapt, whether I like it or not. Too boring for another sad post describing how everyone's leaving me, no? Diam la makcik. Okeydokey I promised I won't mention anything about half of my friends heading back home for good until they actually leave. *zipping mouth shut* Zip!

Nahh. I think I'll keep on reminiscing and mentioning it until you guys puke of boredom. Ahah

I was tidying my notes and I needed a file, so I ransacked through my first year's boxes and found one. My old green file. Old thing, new purpose. There're still my first-year notes in it, and I found a very nostalgic note on renal biology. A note I made for my study group back then, for those sleepyhead and food monsters I call, friend. They're my little family.

Aww look at that cute lil kidney bean

Now everything gets hard. No easy peasy kidney bean drawing on notes. Tsk

Ok bye. Have a great Monday start, say no to Monday blues!

Minggu sekolah.

2012-01-19T21:49:00.003Z

Hello hello.

I left this place untouched for weeks already. Hugely due to the fact that the semester's already starting and it's been a hell of a week trying to cope with the confusing schedule. Well actually they made it all very simple by composing a whole new timetable for everyone in our class, but apparently, it's hard to scrutinize your eyes through everyday's lecture and to take note of your individual workshops and seminars. I guess getting used to it takes time. InshaAllah.

So, let's see, what did I have this week. Mostly lectures, on dress codes, on history taking, and all that jazz. Then I went through the awesome clinical workshop, learning how to take BP and locate the heart sounds, in which by now, the RCSI and trinity lads can easily do it with one eye closed, or maybe both. It gets very exciting as I officially used my stethoscope to a justified purpose, not to play doctor2 any more. Just this afternoon we were supposed to be at Our Lady's Hospice by 2pm, we arrived almost 30 minutes late, and my tummy's been singing soprano straight through the 3-hour seminar. Lapaq okayyy, we were only allowed a 10-minute break, going out the lecture theatre only to find trays of sandwiches prepared for the medical staff having a conference (I think). Kedekut x bagi med student, diskriminasi. I drooled over them sandwiches. Tsk

The first week of school will end tomorrow, with an early start. It's just the beginning, and I know it's too early to be complaining of anything, in fact I shouldn't be complaining at all. Although at the end of the day I always long for nothing more than to throw myself on my comfy bed, I daresay I enjoyed running around catching up with our progressively hectic timetable. At least something keeps me going, since most of my dear friends will be leaving soon :(

Ok. I'm off to dreamland now.

I wanna be stwongg in my dweamss coz in the real life I'm tired of acting strong to everything thrown at ma face anonymously.

Nitey nite lovely peeps!

p/s: It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one- George Washington. Don't assume, ever.

2011 plus one

2011-12-30T13:19:00.009Z

Hello.

No that's not the title of a movie. Despite the Westerners' claims that we'll all be doomed by 2012, I shall see 2012 as a whole new year full of surprises and chances given by God to live yet another year, as I always do in between the borders of December and January.

As mentioned previously, winter 2011 has been a slow and relaxing one. Mostly spending time with friends, books, long skyping time with family and filling the days with numerous trips to dreamland. Though I initially thought not travelling will help me save for my next summer trip, I was wrong. Money flows out unstoppably, well, mostly because I bought a brand new camera and our deep affection for lunch and dinner in the city centre too. Hello future coronary heart disease =.= We also received a handful of friends from Germany, US and UK, cehh bagi sound international skettt. Tetamu bawak berkat kann ;) so there're quite a few get-together involving food, which includes sushi-making. Nyums. hehe

Some snippets of last few week's 'time-wasting' activities;

Sushi yang gemuk2 due to my generous amount of fillings =.= Other people's sushis looked perfect ;(

Oh, say hi to my new camera! Lumix LX5. Thank you Mr. reviewer :)

Also went to Nady's just to hang out before her holidays end. Missing dubliners: Atiqah and Ila :)

Ok pointless muqadimah. (Muqadimah??? wadehey macam buat essay)

Since I missed out on making resolutions during the recent Awal Muharram, perhaps it'd be good to think about it now. I flipped through my old posts and I found out that I've been writing posts on the 31st of December every year, very much like an annual resolution. Haha nerds. 2010's was funny, I wrote down what I've learned through the year. Here. Sadly I don't think it sticks on my mind, I kept making the same mistakes over and over again. But then again, that's how you learn, through mistakes, aite.

If I were to describe 2011, it's been a great year in and out. Allah always makes everything great for you in the end, it's only a matter of time. Of course there're the casual ups and downs, but I make it to 2012 unhurt, so yayy me! Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah for one whole year of life.

I'm adding a silly twist to end this year, a list of songs that reminds me of 2011 ;) (Just random songs I remembered right now ok !)

1) Ramli Sarip's Bukan Kerna Nama

2) Boyce Avenue's Fix You

3) Christina Perri's Arms

4) Exist's Masih Terserlah Ayu Wajahmu

5) Bennami's Ama Zilna

6) Joe Brooks's Holes Inside

7) Fleetwood Mac's Songbird

8) Yokesh's Sakkarai Nilave

9) Demi Lovato's Skyscraper

10) Kina Grannis's Stay Just A Little

Pardon my weird choices of melodies. I know I have a peculiar taste when it comes to music, no favourite singers or bands, just the songs and lyrics. I used to relate the songs I heard to one event, so all ten songs above will definitely bring me back to 2011 whenever I listen to them. :)

To end 31st December, here's a super cuteeeeee new year's eve song from the lovely Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt :) I wish they were a couple they're sooo cute in 500 days of summer :D

cute kan? He was looking at her all the time :)

Anyways, may 2012 adds similar or probably more happiness to our already blessed life. I shall bid a happy goodbye to 2011, and all the fun times and loves it offered me.

To 2012, Assalamualaikum :)

Where is the love.

2011-12-23T07:42:00.004Z

From Anas R.A, who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah S.A.W, say:
Allah the Almighty has said: "O son of Adam, so long as you call upon me, and hope in Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds in the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I shall forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with an earthful of sins and were you then to face Me, without having anything associated with Me, I shall grant you an earthful of pardon." [ Hadis ke-42, Imam Nawawi's 40 Hadith]

There's is still hope for a change. I want this feeling to last forever, this feeling of longing for forgiveness, this feeling of not giving up, right at this very morning. Dear God please don't let this feeling go away again. I've had enough of sitting alone in the middle of the night wondering if tomorrow will ever be the same. I want a change, I need You badly. I want this feeling always. To long for Your forgiveness and live life happily without hurting others I love. Where is the love? The love is always there, always have always been. Even more loving than the most loveydovey-est couple you've ever seen. You have to search for it.

Ameen. It's Friday peeps! Sunat baca surah alKahfi. Hok jate gi maye jumaat deh.

Selamat berhujung mingguan :)

The slow winter.

2011-12-21T21:22:00.006Z

I'm not a big fan of Monroe but her words hit jackpot sometimes.
Anyways, hello :)

This winter had been one of the slowest there is. No snow, no nothing. Well actually it did snow for a split second on our last day of exams, but it melted by midday. Nothing to look forward too. Hence the title. Everyday has been pretty much the same, because we basically ran out of things to do, and it's just the first week of winter break. Went to the city centre twice, spent handsome amount of money on lunch and dinner, cooking, tidying, movie-marathon, reading. What else?

Our only white morning for this year's winter. Urghh Dublin is so menstrual. Last year it snowed so heavily that exams were cancelled. This year, it gives us just a glimpse of white frosty road.

If you went on googlemaps' street view, you'll see our neighbour's red car. I think it's on display or something coz it's always there. Always.

So today my makcik Ain decided to be an awesome future housewife by trying to make creampuffs. And it turned out exactly like the ones you bought from the bakery. Bravo. Sape nak buat calon menantu,sila2. Yan cooked the sambal for nasi lemak so we had a pretty full-set dinner-cum-lunch today.

So that's about it. I am trying hard to prevent myself from writing pathetic stuffs to show that I'm sad + under-the-weather boohoohoo. To make room for more positive vibes! Yay me! HAHAHAHA gile.

And so it begins..

2011-12-18T16:57:00.004Z

The most anticipated time of the year, holidays! Err, ok not really. The only time I eagerly anticipated holidays was during the peak of exams, probably stress-related anticipation. Now that it has finally started, I hate how time seems to fly so friggin slow. Manusia manusia, xdak masa complain, byk masa pun complain. haha

My exams officially ended yesterday, which means no classes and lecture notes up till 15th January. A sudden change I must say, from a hectic timetable of 24hours revising and ridiculous sleeping cycle, to nothing.

I haven't planned much for this winter, unlike my hot sexy Barcelona and Morocco trip last year. I'm thinking of catching up on my long-lost hobby, reading. Abah used to force me to read all Enid Blyton's books when I was in primary school, even bought me a super thick book compiling all Blyton's writings once, which I read unwillingly. Looking back, I'm always grateful for all the forcing and pushing from Abah n mama, if it's not for them I won't have any interest at all in books. Man, squeezing your eyes through boring black-and-white alphabets while sitting stationary on a couch is no fun for kids my age. But awesome parents did what awesome parents ought to do, hence, my deep interest in reading- once upon a time. They must be a wee bit disappointed if I let that interest stops at this age.

I need to finish up my current collections of charity-shop books, bought them because they're cheap but haven't touched them since =.= And also need to start on a few books that can, you know, help me top up that little microscopic dot of iman, since next semester will involve more challenge working with the locals, and I always fail when it comes to answering questions about my hijab and why women can't marry four guys too. I know, what a shame. =.=

Till then. happy hols :)

Sacrifices

2011-12-15T16:27:00.007Z

Hey ho. So there's two more papers to go.

I would say Respiratory Diseases was the paper I felt most unprepared. We finished endocrine at 6pm a day before, and respi's at 12pm the next day, which means we only have one short night to finalize any revision. I even forced myself to drink a can of Redbull, in the hope that it can give me a nocturnal spark, which it actually did. But it left me with only energy without any functioning mind, I find myself in the kitchen at 4am in the morning, nibbling on a slice of bread with chocolate spread on top =.= I decided to sleep for a while, just to let the brain breathe, what I expected to be a short nap turned out to be a 6-hour long sleep, and I woke up at 10am, just 2 hours before the exam, realizing that I have a hugeee amount of reading to do. Panic attack.

And so I run my eyes through the notes, praying hard that Allah will help me catch any important key points. Cycled in the cold to the venue, final scan through the notes, and with a very nervous heart, entered the exam hall. And the rest is history. Tawakkal.

You know, I sometimes wonder if opting for medicine abroad is actually a good idea. Now that I'm finally doing it, I'm starting to get the real taste of it. It doesn't only place a burden on me to perform academically, in fact, it made me sacrifice so many other little things in life. Most significantly, I missed out on family times.

I missed my cousin's wedding, and this is not the first time. I've lost count on how many times I missed weddings.

Mama abah looking good in pink :)

These three gedik girls took a picture which made me screamed out of jealousy.

And Kak Noli looked very princessy :)

I missed numerous family gatherings and trips. Well, of course it's not their fault. Blame all this geographical constraints.

I missed watching adik grow up, and she's almost hitting 12. I can't remember the last time I accompanied her to the playground. Look at her all prim and proper as the flower girl ;) My other little cousins were the flower girls too. Gahhh too cute!

I missed bro time, especially now that ayit's in college, even if I'm back for holidays, he's always away in Subang. To make things even sappier, he'll be off to another continent by early 2013, again separated by distance, and 13 hours of time. Which also means, 2012 would possibly be my last raya with him.

I missed out on watching ira hit teenagehood too. I think she's on some growth hormone or something, now almost as tall as me.

I missed reunions, countless reunions. From primary school to high school. I wonder if they still remember me. =.=

All this struggle of waking up early, sleeping late, working your brain like a dog, everybody else does it too. But I don't know why I keep making it sound like it's a big deal.

I know there's always a reason behind all these. Perhaps they're what it takes for you to get something worth it in the future.

I'm not complaining, because this, will definitely be worth it. inshaAllah

Ok back to work

Lost.

2011-12-11T11:48:00.002Z

In the midst of notes and books

The heart stays still

not knowing where to look

To God, it should

but it let Him down too much

Even prayers at times like this

is a shame it can't hide.

Shame on you

Who told you to turn to Him

when you're in dire need

If in times of bliss

you put Him last.

Oh shame on you.

The brain needs courage

For it can't do this any more

But the heart is caged

No courage, merely awaiting its fall.

I do not know this girl

This lazy, discouraged girl

She was once so motivated

Now she lays pathetic

Lost and weakened.

I do not know this girl any more.

Blablabla.

2011-12-07T00:05:00.004Z

Hello Wednesday.

I am exhausted. I have never felt so drained out of courage as much as I am now. No, not energy, it's more like the loss of urge to put effort. Perhaps because this semester was tough? Or maybe it's just me? I don't know. The burden had turn exceedingly huge over time. Well, studying smarter is the only way to beat this time constraint, as I'm now left with merely 3 short days. But smarter, I am not.

Yesterday Patrick (my pet goldfish) was acting weird, it kept swimming like a drunk chap and been lying down on the bottom of the tank most of the times. I panicked so I kept Patrick away from Spongebob for a while. And apparently, today it was swimming normally so I reunite them back together. I hope it's nothing serious. Ceh mcm jaga anak plak =.=' No, it's just that they've been there for two months or so and I've been waking up every morning with the first impulse of feeding them, x gosok gigi lg trus bg makan ok, more like a routine. It'd felt weird if I lose them. Precious little goldfishiess please don't go :(

see, yesterday tebaring2, today (right) okay dah.

I think Patrick was depressed watching me all zombied up for the exams. Haha. And by zombie, I mean not studying till late at night, it's zombied up as in byk tido muka mcm zombie.

So, though it is impossible to finish reading ALL (no, bukan acute lymphoblastic leukaemia, ALL as in capital all) lecture notes thoroughly at this point (for me), I shouldn't be giving up (duh~). At least if I push myself to the limits, I know I wouldn't blame myself if the results didn't turn out well. If I gave up now and my result sucks, it means the blame's on me. Allah pandang usaha. Sapa suruh pemalas.

Adoi 17th please come fast. bye

10 minutes.

2011-12-03T17:23:00.002Z

As I watched a number of status updates about a medical student in Jordan who passed away today from an illness, I stumbled upon his facebook page. It gave me goosebumps knowing that just a few days ago, he updated his facebook stating his nose had been bleeding every 2-3 hours, and most people thought it was just a winter symptom. How powerful is the hands of God, how much things can change within His control, how He personally chose each individuals to go through his/her respective tests. And also, how things can change drastically in just a short period of time.

Which reminds me, again, of a short video I watched during my time in college. I'm pretty sure it's a well-known one. If you're thinking of watching this, well, it'll only take 10 minutes of your time.

Within 10 minutes, pictures are printed. Within 10 minutes, lives were taken away. 10 minutes, are all it takes, for things to completely change.

And, erm, within 10 minutes, you've just watched a video.

Time suddenly seemed so precious. Not only 10 minutes, I've wasted hours per day, wasting time doing unfruitful stuff. When in that 10 minutes, God can change anything about me.

Urghh. My heart is so congested with smelly stuff. I need to breath. And think of ways to make my time longer, and more 'blessed'. This is the kind of stuff that would normally struck a chord in my brain, of how blessed I am and how much I wasted all that blessings, and would often make me teary-eyed..as of now.

I can fall sick in a few days if God wills me to, I can die tomorrow if He wants me back. Astaghfirullah.

alFatihah buat saudara Ilham Ellani. Heaven awaits you inshaAllah.

Study la Zulaikha. jgn buang masa lagi

Zoology.

2011-12-02T20:16:00.000Z

Although this is the kind of subject you'd expect to score excellently in midterms but end up getting less than half, it's still awesome. Oh awesome elective, you shall be missed :')

The life cycle of a liver fluke. cecehh

Today was our final lab practical, and much to my enjoyment of drawing parasites from microscope and reminiscing my time in Form 5, the module has eventually ended. And in the next semester, no more exotic electives for us, only scary history taking and directing pen torches to people's throats.

Also, our haematology paper will start next Saturday. Hence, I shall embark on a journey of one stressful week of last-minute revising starting this Saturday. Doakan ye.

"Jangan kau alas hatimu itu, dengan secebis warna kehitaman."

p/s: Ramli sarip on repeat, I have no idea why =.='

What if.

2011-12-01T12:12:00.002Z

What if you’re sad, and you cried and cried, but it doesn’t take your sadness away?

What if you did a thousand things right, but people see a million things wrong?

What if you’re happy and you smiled, but it’s only temporary on the outside?

What if you wanted to change, but God told you to wait maybe because He has something in store?

What if you lost yourself, and you tried rewinding, but you’re still stuck being the miserable you?

What if you wanted time to freeze, so that you can savour the last moments you have, but time opposes you and move on so quickly?

What if you wanted something badly, but it appears to be exactly the opposite?

What if things didn't turn out well, how would you react, would you lost your mind or turn to God?

What if you tried so hard to change, but it didn’t work out?

What if you’re so depressed, and you’re struggling to keep yourself sane?

What if the cycle never stops?

What if. What freakin' if.

Livahh.

2011-11-28T20:10:00.003Z

I remembered a time in college, when I was presenting on something to do with liver, and to show you how confident I was, I actually pronounced cirrhosis as "kai-ro-sis", as if I've known that syndrome my whole life. And sadly, nobody in the class corrected me, letting me appear bimbotic on my own. Sobs. I went back to my room only to find out that it is "si-roh-sis". What a loser.

Ok. That post was just to help me stay awake. I'm so sleepyyy. Apparently blogging is more interesting than cirrhosis and liver failure.

Why am I so lazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Ok bye

Doa.

2011-11-27T14:14:00.003Z

Yesterday was the first Muharram, 1433 Hijriyyah. I remembered people used to encourage the practice of reading doa awal dan akhir tahun. I read the "end-of-year" doa and was attracted to the meaning of it,

"Wahai Tuhan, apa yang telah aku lakukan dalam tahun ini daripada perkara-perkara yang Engkau tegah daripada aku melakukannya dan aku belum bertaubat daripadanya. Sedangkan Engkau tidak redha dan tidak melupakannya. Dan aku telah melakukannya di dalam keadaan di mana Engkau berupaya untuk menghukumku, tetapi Engkau mengilhamkanku dengan taubat selepas keberanianku melakukan dosa-dosa itu semuanya. Sesungguhnya aku memohon keampunanMu, maka ampunilah aku. Dan tidaklah aku melakukan yang demikian daripada apa yang Engkau redhainya dan Engkau menjanjikanku dengan pahala atas yang sedemikian itu. Maka aku memohon kepadaMu."

Definitely a beautiful prayer, as I read the doa in Malay, it hit me in every possible way.

However, I stumbled upon a post saying that it shouldn't be practised, as it is the practice of Syiah. So today I googled and read a few opinions, indeed, it turned out that there's no hadith that can be related back to the Prophet S.A.W. Even so, an article mentioned that if it is the sunnah of the Prophet S.A.W, 'nescaya para sahabat dan tabi’ien berlumba-lumba untuk melakukannya demi mengarap kebaikan disebalik amalan tersebut yang kononnya hebat fadilatnya.' [taken from here]

It also states that the hadith that recommend this practice is not true. And most of the people in Malaysia are religiously practising this doa, some even following the instructions that the 'start-of-year' doa should be read after Asr on the last day of Zulhijjah, three times. So basically, if we intended the prayer as an act of obeying the Prophet's sunnah, it's not right, what's even worse is when we're too obsessed of the practice that we forgot why we did it in the first place.

So, I'm just saying, berdoa is not limited to certain times or days. Some say that the prayer above shouldn't be read at all, but I think, it shouldn't be read ONLY during the end of Zulhijjah, in fact, we should practise it with the intention of seeking His forgiveness, regardless of days. Kalau niat nak ikut Syiah, memang la haram. Ke cane?

I like this snippet:

"Yang penting, kita tidak boleh mengaitkan do’a ini kepada Nabi . Berdo’alah dengan apa sahaja permintaan berdasarkan dalil umum galakkan berdo’a adalah dibenarkan, tidak terbatas kepada awal atau akhir tahun," [here]

Bila makin tua, wirid makin singkat, doa makin pendek. Hoi camna nak jadi imam and contoh to our babies in the future. Opps. hee. Salam Awal Muharram 1433h! :)

3 days of agony

2011-11-26T08:06:00.004Z

Hello.

This place had been abandoned for the last two weeks. Because of a few reasons, one of it being the fact that I've been constantly bombarded with 'things' that seemed to be directed to me. So being me, certain things that people say, and write, and did, hit me and apparently I didn't know how to respond in order to show them that I'm hurt. Hence, I ended up doing the most immature thing I did, hiding up all the posts in this poor blog, thinking it can help them understand. You silly girl, Zulaikha.

Since I've left you for almost two weeks, I shall make this a long one, I guess. My finals will start on the 10th of December, which means I am left with merely two short weeks that should be filled with revisions. I abandoned that, too, for the last 3 days. Imagine having 3 days spent doing nothing, lying in bed because apparently, the gravity of my bed seems to be a lot heavier than the gravity of Planet Earth. 3 days wasted just like that, 72 hours of pure bliss on the bed, while everybody else is hitting the books like mad. Wow, 'that', 'bed', 'mad', it rhymes! I miss writing silly poems. Sobs. Ok back to the story, so yeah, I'm in a terrible mess, basically. I guess everyone had that period of time when you're hopeless and sad for no reason. And God put me through 72 hours of sadness and being me, I am always unable to see the hikmah. You silly girl, you.

In the last two weeks I planned a study timetable. What to accomplish in a day etc. And I've been following that timetable religiously. Until last Wednesday, when the agony began. Well actually, agony sounds a bit intense, macam mental suffering ke apa. It's more of an overwhelming feeling of sadness. Again, being me, I resorted to sleeping the whole day long. Leaving the 3-day gap in my study timetable. I am a pretty rigid kinda person, when I plan, I need them executed, and when it doesn't happen, I am completely lost. As for now, I am lost as to where should I find the pace again. 3 days of not revising and now where do I begin? Lost. Adoi. You silly girl, youu.

Even worse, if you're sad and you face it on your own, it's okay, but if you're sad and you affected the rest of the world, that's immature. And that's me. Perhaps it's a cry for attention. Perhaps it is to show that I'm sad and need some time alone. What I meant when I said the rest of the world is affected, is the sudden realization after you're finally sober that you've hurt the people around you for that matter. For instance, pity my little goldfishes, I haven't cleaned their tank for almost 5 days, well, because I'm sad. I wanted to clean them on Wednesday but since I'm stuck onto bed, they're affected too. Now they're both swimming in a tank of dirty water and their poo-poo, sorry little babies, I'll clean you up today, I promise. You silly girl, you.

I've acted silly, but I know I'm doing it for reasons I don't quite comprehend. Perhaps it's a way of lifting up the feeling, a way of letting go. I once promised to live by positivity, but I did just the opposite. Things will never be better, they will actually get tougher, but it's on me to get better so when the toughest times fall unto me, I'm better prepared. Things will never get better, I will. Things will only get tougher. Keep that in mind.

Someone I love once said, quoted Confucius, glory is not what we achieve most, but how fast we rise up after fall. I wouldn't want another day wasted. The burden of finals is overwhelmingly huge, but I shouldn't be complaining. That's what medics do. A lifelong learning process. One of the things I mentioned during my interview for a place in UCD. Now that I'm finally in UCD, I've forgotten the reason why I'm here.

So, ermm, where do I begin? I shall start with cleaning my goldfishes' tank. And the rest will fall into places inshaAllah.

To you-s, all the best for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. You'll pull through. You guys are smart.

Hello winter, you've been missed :)

2011-11-13T15:59:00.003Z

Hi peeps. Sorry for the lack of updates. (I have no idea why should I apologize, it's my blog anyways). This post would be just some random things I wish to type-type away.

Ok ok. Well the past few days been really hectic, with midterms and eid celebration etc. Which got me into thinking, when will my revision for final begin. Oh boyy. Anyways, I wouldn't want to waste my time worrying and complaining, you won't get an A by telling everyone how much you haven't study, will ya?

And this weekend was awesome. Spend most of my times with friends. We even went for a late night supper at Eddie Rocket's last Friday up till 3am, simply because we feel like it. And yesterday we slept at almost 5am, watching movies and simply doing nothing. Yeah, doing nothing. You might say it's a waste of time, but I'd say it's bliss.You know, simply doing something that makes you and everyone else at ease and happy, even though it means doing nothing. Sometimes happiness doesn't need planning, sometimes the little things are what matters the most, like a visit to a friend's house, a short call to your parents, buying presents and make people smile, a small chat you have with friends, an impromptu trip to the mall that brings you laughter. Lagha in a way, right. Whatevs, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable with the term lagha anyways.

It's a bit exhausting, having everything planned, having my life lived according to others, like, studying because I see people studying, stop being happy because the definition of happiness to others is not like mine, don't go out with friends because it's a waste of time etc. Because as far as I know, I've missed out on a lot of my own happiness because I've been worrying too much on what people think and say.

I'll post something else later. My tummy's been feeling unwell due to all the different types of food I shoved into it this weekend, milkshakes, nachos, grilled ribs, cheesecakes, dory fillets, tuna wrap, you name it. And now they're starting a protest in my tummy.

till then, bye

ZzzZzZzZ

2011-11-05T09:33:00.002Z

I hate it when I was dreaming of something I longed for, and I woke up right in the middle of it.

Keep calm and freakin' carry on, you silly lazy bimbo!

my room.

And, salam 9 Dzul Hijjah 1432h :) Happy fasting to those who is, and may all blessings be upon you. In case I didn't get to see you tomorrow, salam aidil-Adha to you too :) Aidil adha is all about sacrificing, and this year I'm sacrificing it all for this course. Nice timing, 10 Dzul hijjah just a day before my midterm tests ey?

Dear God, You always know best, make everything that's going on right now, the best for us all.

Silence

2011-11-02T16:25:00.006Z

is golden.

Ever heard of that saying? I guess it hits me the most today.

You know, in my university we're blessed enough to have our own prayer room for the muslims. Built with the effort of a group of people, may God bless them. And as the prayer room is the only place you can golek2, and eat (ada air basuh tgn), we spent most of the times having our lunch in there as well.

I went to the prayer room, recently, taknak cakap waktu bila. And the first jemaah has already finished their solat. Then I heard another voice started a new saff. I decided to follow. But the voice of the Imam was slow that I had to listen very closely. And then when it comes to the first sujud, I had no idea which rakaat were we at. So I assumed it was tahiyat. Not long after, I lost track of the Imam's voice because the prayer room was so noisy with muttering and talking and whatnot. At last, I was forced to end my solat because the only part I heard was the Imam giving salam. And I had to start over on my own.

I know I shouldn't be talking about this because I'm pretty sure I would be that noisy when I was in the prayer room with my friends. Nanti mcm cakap x serupa bikin pulak kan. Sometimes, I just can't stop talking and sometimes, I forgot that there are people trying to pray in peace. But today, as I prayed and was surrounded by all the distractions, I realised how important silence is when you're performing solat.

As we're all now approaching the 20s and most of us are growing serious and mature with matters in life, why don't we get serious when it comes to solat too. After all, it is a serious business.

And if you happen to see me in the prayer room, noisily chatting away, do remind me :) Sometimes tak sedar kita buat bising, ada orang tension tak boleh khusyuk solat.

Speaking of golden, I noticed the leaves are all turning golden to welcome winter. Autumn would be my second favourite season after spring :)

Roebuck Downs

Simply a note to self. Silence is golden :)

Gender.

2011-11-01T22:42:00.005Z

Heyy.

Suddenly feel like posting. You know I sometimes wonder, from almost a decade experience of mingling with boys (that excludes my 3 years in an all-girls school), I find a lot of things about them reflect total coolness. Not that I'm not thankful being a girl, no, it's just that some things about boys/men left me wondering why girls in general are not like that.

1) Sports. Boys, football, sports, almost inseparable. One thing I find interesting, is how they can decide to play soccer in the evening without having to go through the hustle of planning this and that. Like, "bola jom kol 5." "Onnnn." Surprisingly, for them it's a daily affair. Rarely do I find girls calling each other almost daily to plan a netball game and whatnot. I guess girls prefer to stay fit on their own, through jogging, gym etc.

2) Spontaneity. This somewhat amazed me. Say, they wanted to hang out, or play futsal, or whatever thing boys normally do, simply give each other a shout, and half an hour later they're already at the cafe hanging out. Simple. For most girls, we'd probably have to plan at least a day earlier.

3)Friendship. Apparently, this thing for boys always turned out simple. Most stories of people turning their back on each other will somehow involve girls, instead of boys. Probably because the boys prefer to confront each other as opposed to the girls. And, most bro-friendship lasts longer than girl-friendship. Again, maybe this doesn't apply to ALL boys but generally speaking, this is what I observed throughout the years in school and college.

4) Dressing up. This is my all-time jealousy. How can they dress up so easily without much fuss. Maybe some would say the girls have to cover up well, that's why we spend more time choosing the right scarf for the right blouse. But then again, why bother. The guys don't seem to give much attention to match their shirts to their belts. I guess over the years the society has put much pressure on the girls to appear pretty, as if all eyes are on them when they're out. Boys don't have this mindset, maybe that's why they don't bother dressing up every single painful day.

5) Emotional. Oh I'm not saying one gender is superior to the other when it comes to controlling emotions. I'm just saying, the boys always look like they're trained not to show off emotions. Girls and crying is common, but if you find a guy crying, that would be rare. Or maybe they cry in their bedroom under the pillow... who knows. HAHA. Anyways, I guess they're lucky not to have "that time of the month" like the girls, which is why we always end up having at least one emotional breakdown monthly. Tapi mcm emo more than monthly je skang. Tsk

6) Topic of interest. I'm just impressed at how well boys treated their body. I mean, when girls sit in a group, our topic of interest will at least include a touch on our weight and the flappy fat under our arms. And most of the times would blabber on how much we've eaten today and how fat we'll be tomorrow. I rarely heard any guy complaining on such issue. And, another thing still remaining a mystery to me, is the things boys talk about. Once, I wish to sit invisibly among the boys and hear whatever thing that interests them. Because, girls always gossiped on how handsome you guys are and who would be the prince charming. BAHAHAHA joking

Yeah. So those were the few things I find cool in the mechanism of a boy. Well, girls are cool too, but in our own unique way :)

Oh btw I've just finished my haematology and respiratory midterm tests, and another two tests are coming up next week. Doakan :)

Post-exam faces :D

I guess the stress build-up costs me a lot. I eat a LOT lately. Like a monster, oh no, probably more than a monster, perhaps more like a hungry dinosaur-ish monster, no kidding. We ordered fast food last night and I had two burgers in one go, like, really HUGE OILY SALTY BURGERS and then today I bought another burger after the exam. And every day I ate almost three huge plates of rice with chicken. Also I had a craving for coke I don't know whyyy. I'm sorry dear body I'm shoving you with all unhealthy stuff :( Haha complain je keje. I'm trying to gain (unhealthy) weight so whatever lah kan. Nah bukti...

....And I feel very crappy lately.

Panjang la plak post ni. sorryy

Fix You

2011-10-31T10:51:00.002Z

When you try your best but you don't succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

Tears stream down on your face

I promise you I will learn from my mistakes

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try

To fix you.

- Fix You, Coldplay. All-time favourite.

Happy Monday everyone :)

Effort

2011-10-28T20:59:00.002+01:00

Never thought I put in much effort for this semester's midterm tests.

Probably because there's too much to read that you ended up worrying if whatever you read will be forgotten later. In the end, you settle with reading lazily, merely browsing through words. And then I forgot the most important fact, that every little effort counts :)

This'd be just a quick post. To tell y'all that I finally got my hands on my very own Robbins pathology textbook today :') Mesti mcm noob kan dah 3rd year baru beli. tsk

Whatevs. As long as I don't have to squint my eyes reading the online textbook, I'm happy to finally have a hardcopy of this mother of all pathology texts. Ceh exaggerate.

Plus, suddenly felt encouraged to read it all again. Sbb boleh highlight and conteng2 heeyarghhh

Every little effort counts, iA :)

Words and you.

2011-10-27T00:09:00.003+01:00

Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past.

Sometimes, no matter how much the past actions hurt, if we clutch on the past too tightly, our arms would be too full to embrace the present.

I'm learning to make the most out of the present. No matter how slow, I'm learning.

Changing for the better :)

Hardworking.

2011-10-26T17:01:00.005+01:00

Or rajin.

Why do you call someone rajin and hardworking?

I went to a talk yesterday. And Ustaz talked about many things. But I remembered one thing he mentioned, the difference between bersegera and bergopoh-gapah. (settling things beforehand vs. rushing things)

Here's the difference. Contoh. P Ramlee (PR) and Salleh Yaakob (SY). Both are going to face an exam. PR prepared months before the exam to make sure he succeed. Closer to the exam date people would see him relaxing and not that hardworking, some might even say he's lazy, but the truth is he's been working consistently, no rush. Meanwhile for SY, one week or days before the exam, he worked soooo hard that people compliment on how hardworking he is, how rajin, but the truth is, he's rushing and not really is a hardworking guy.

See the difference. PR bersegera, SY bergopoh.

Next. Here comes Maghrib prayer time. PR took his wudhu' and was at the masjid an hour before azan, to make sure he's always on time. Meanwhile for SY, half an hour before azan, he rushed home from a football session, and quickly clean up and took his wudhu', rushing to the masjid. People would see SY and say, wahh bagus budak ni semangat g masjid. Padahal on the way pegi masjid maki habis traffic light lembab, kopiah hilang, nak tunjuk yg die semangat g masjid nih.

See the difference? Obvious isn't it. PR bersegera, SY bergopoh.

Which group do you belong to? Bersegera buat benda baik, or bergopoh?

Ustaz pesan, dlm Quran ada ckp, bersegeralah melakukan kebaikan (2:148)

I prefer bersegera. Sbb skrg tegopoh2 nak habiskan semua lecture. Oh menyesal kemudian tidak berguna :( Using the time left to the max! iA :)

p/s: bought a new phone....andddd loving it to bits! :)

taken using ehem2 :p

cool kan cool kan. jgn jeles uolsss!

Rain.

2011-10-24T18:29:00.003+01:00

En route back home.

It rained today

As I walked home

Streets flooded, shoes loaded,

Music loud, umbrella up,

Listening to the rain performing.

Praying hard for tomorrow onwards,

and for whatever we aimed for together :)

My bwainn.

2011-10-22T21:11:00.002+01:00

Heyy.

My bwain izz slow, izz like snailzz.

..and it cannot digest information if provided in bulk. Dayumm.

As y'all know from my endless annoying posts on when my midterm is, yes, it's on this coming Monday and Tuesday. For most of the third-years they'll only have the Tuesday GIT test. I had my Monday occupied because of my zoology elective. Oh yeah. Zoology. Don't ask me why I took Medical Zoology as my elective. As far as I know I chose it because it sounds cool and I'm too scared to take up any medically-related subjects, and because I was trying to avoid taking languages again for electives, also because I can never reconcile with subjects relating to Maths. nyahahah

GIT stands for gastrointestinal btw, y'know, all that unpleasant stuff happening in your tummy all the way till it went out in the toilet. Yeah. That's GIT in general.

Anyways, I noticed I have been taking 'reading' subjects for three consecutive semesters. I wonder why... since I'm a loser when it comes to things requiring memory. Yes, please go on and wonder why I even chose medicine. I took Microeconomics, then Food Science, and then now, Medical Zoology. All of which needed reading to pass, because the assessments are merely MCQs. And surprisingly, all of which helped me with my overall grades walaupn xde la tinggi mana, except for medzoo la kan baru nak exam, duhh

And among all electives I have previously taken (including French and Chinese), I would say these reading subjects are the most awesome. Foodscience, despite all the reading, actually taught me a lot of new stuff on different types of dieting method. And medical zoology, despite the wordy lecture slides, provided me cool facts that I wouldn't really know in real life. Contoh, sape tau nyamuk yg hisap darah korg tu, jate ko tino? Hah. Only FEMALE mosquitoes bite and transmit disease, the males feed on nectar and honeydew. Haa, xtau kan? kan? See, that's why medical zoology is awesomeee.

Tapi tau la elective clinical skill lagi awesome kan. Finee

All in all, what I can conclude is, despite my constant pain-in-the-arse complaints on so-many-things-to-read-so-little-time blablabla, I learned that in whatever ilmu you're obliged to learn, it's actually fun if you look close enough. Much more peculiarly as a medical student, you actually learned about your own body, a friend was talking about ischemic bowel disease when he suddenly said, pelikkan, cmne bahagian perut pun boleh mati.

See, I'm always amazed with people who can actually read and relate. I normally READ, only read, without relating. Merely spilling out facts without relating. Starting from now have to start thinking like a doctor, like a hot hot doctor. ahaks

Ok peeps. I'll leave you at this. Need to refresh my reading on arthropods and insect-borne diseases =.='

p/s: My cousins are getting married this weekend. All prayers flying to them iA! <3

Rightfully right.

2011-10-19T20:29:00.002+01:00

Midterm tests will commence next week. And there's actually no time to feel frustrated with your studies. Asyik cakap x sempat sampai bila pun x sempat.

Just when you feel disappointed and at the point of giving up, that's when someone made you bounce right back on track.

And at this rate I'm at, it's a pleasure to have that privilege :)

p/s: Kempen sejam satu lecture.hehe. inshaAllahh

Not good enough.

2011-10-15T18:20:00.002+01:00

Heyy.

Just a thought.

Right now,

What if you're not good enough? For him, for her, for them, for this, for that, for life, for whatever thing surrounding you, what if you're just not good enough for 'em all?

Would you change to how you used to be? Would you give in? Would you work things out? Would you simply sit back and accept the fact that you're just not good enough?

You know that state of confusion when you're just lost, grabbing anything to be your identity. Faking everything to prove that you're good enough, to prove that you're worth it. Isn't that hypocrisy? What happens to being you? What happens to your once awesome attitude?

Forcing yourself to the library to prove that you're worth being in the 3rd year medicine, forcing yourself to put on an emotional face to show that you're not in a good mood, forcing yourself to be happy to show that you're always awesome, forcing yourself to do this and that to prove this and that, forcing everything on yourself, just to prove something that is not for the world to see. As if my life is a fake. Man, I seriously need an attitude check-up.

What if I am really not good enough..

p/s: Saturday blues.

Friday.

2011-10-14T20:56:00.002+01:00

Yes play the Rebecca Black song as you read this =.='

But also remember Friday is the sayyidul ayyam, penghulu segala hari. woots

Woke up. Morning jog to Deer Park. Baked (tasteless) choc muffins for Dea and Ica who'll be going back soon. Walked to their house. Bought chicken legs at the mosque. Went home. Bathed. Phone calls to 3 because of the nasty NCO letters. Onlined. Wondered why AIB hasn't updated my current balance. And why 3 hasn't deducted any bills yet. Felt old having to settle all this billing stuff. Dressed up. Walked to the library. Covered a topic. Withdrawed cash to buy drinks for usrah. Usrah. Dropped by the Msoc annual grand meeting. Say hi to a few. Walked back with Yan and Pika. Met an Arabic mom lost for direction. Felt awful for not being able to help. Arrived home. Sitting in front of the laptop. Writing a pointless post.

Funny how my day can be summarized in just a short paragraph. Time is flying by so fast like a bullet train I can barely catch up with everything around me.

Anyways, have a great awesome weekend :)

Moved.

2011-10-13T22:04:00.007+01:00

Heyy.

Ermm. I went to a talk today. Hoping to just fill in my time with at least one thing beneficial for the day. Unexpectedly, something about the talk moved me. Weirdly, I don't know exactly what was it.

Shaykh Riad Ouarrazi's talk today was supposed to be revolving around "Abu Bakr: A legacy for the future." But he delivered more than that. Btw, he was a Moroccan-born lad, with a business degree, who migrated to the US and Canada, and has been giving talks and leadership courses since. Mind you, he's one of the most laid-back shaykh I've ever met. Giving speech clad in just a pair of jeans and a striped shirt, oh, and his cool american accent. haha

Apart from him jumping from desk to desk (yes, literally jumping DESK to DESK), pointing out question with his enthusiasm, the talk was something I did not regret going. Because before this, most of the talks I went to, I would be so exhausted from classes and too tired to pay attention to the whole session (since talks are mostly held wayyy after classes).

I don't really know what to summarize on this talk because Shaykh Riad talked about almost everything, not really in-topic. But I guess his words were the thing that caught my attention. Most of them I would say.

He talked about Abu Bakr r.a, and how Abu Bakr r.a converted 6 people right after he embraced Islam. About Mus'ab bin Umair r.a, who was the first Islam ambassador and he was just 20 years old. About ghulam, and how he left his legacy by telling the king that he can only be killed with the word "bismillahi rabbil ghulam," in the name of Allah, the Lord of ghulam. About how Abdullah bin Zubair r.a went swimming around Kaabah when Makkah was flooded to complete a tawaf.

Man, he was good. I've always loved stories like these. Reminders in the most interesting way.

And since he specializes in handling leadership courses, we did a little leadership test just to know what kind of a leader you would be. You know, the sort of stuff where you draw this and it means that blablabla. He asked us to draw a bull on a piece of paper, andddd here you go;

My bull. Hensem kan?

And there was one time when he touched on friends, that left me wondering. He said look at those around you. If you die today, and you're surrounded by your friends you have right now, will they help you say the syahadah?

And the best part.

"If our sins each has a smell, we would not be sitting next to each other right now."

p/s: When you judge someone, it doesn't define who they are. It defines who you are. Hence, I'll stop judging and assuming and live my own awesome life, worry-free. Yayy!

harini otak+hati penat..xnak penat lagi...tsk

Wordless Wednesday.

2011-10-12T21:46:00.006+01:00

At any point in our life, selfishness happens. When all you think about is 'me me me'. But being selfish is not cool. Selfishness only applies when your bladder is full and you need the toilet, very very badly. Me to We :)

But then again...

Lolololol forever alone

Haha 9gagging. I think this entry shouldn't be named "Wordless Wednesday", there's word in it. Should it be Wordy Wednesday? erkk

Hohoii study. bye

Assumptions.

2011-10-11T19:55:00.004+01:00

Today's lunch, Irish-style with mokcik2 selim,

weather's pretty good which is why we opted for an outdoor lunch tetibe :)

Heyy.

I sprayed some fresh-looking changes to the blog, because I have no idea why did the polka-dottish background suddenly went missing. Canthik tak canthik tak, haaa canthik kan? *gaya eric leong deko bersama eric*

Pergh. Life nowadays, background blog pun penting ke =.='

Today I felt healthier after jogging with mokcik2 selim all the way to deer park, the usual spot. I think I should do that often, because 21 years old and gasping for air after a short walk is not cool, people. Not cool. Reminds me of the times back in kmb, I jogged almost everyday towards the end of the last semester just because it felt good and refreshing, I guess I was fitter back then. Skrg mcm mak nenek, sikit2 penat, tgk blog ni layout pn mcm mak nenek, x fun langsung kann.

Ok enough said on what I did today, not of any significance anyway.

Assumptions. Big time dilemma. To make assumptions to comfort yourself OR to push away assumptions and stress yourself out while thinking of the truth. Anybody ever been stucked in the middle of those two? Cecehh soalan retorik la konon. Barula blogger berwibawa kann.

Ok matang mode please. You know the thing with blogging is, when people read what you write, they assume they understand you and your posts. The thing is, nobody understands anybody completely. If you read a post where a blogger talks about one of his/her classmates having smelly mouth, and you happen to be his/her classmate, I bet 90% of you would suddenly be conscious of the smell of your mouth. Because you assume he/she is talking about YOU. See, assumptions. Ish ish.

I've learned that assumptions make you worry, and worrying is not really a fun thing to do. I prefer watching my goldfishes bloop-blooping rather than worrying. So jommm, let's lead a positive life. Eh tapi jgn la positive sgt, what if a friend comes to your room with a knife and wants to kill you, and you went positive and think he/she might need your help in the kitchen. Haha contoh x realistik sorryy. =.=' I'm just saying, let's say no to assumptions :) Husnuzzon (bersangka baik) sudehh.

"Assumptions are the termites of relationships."- Henry Winkler, an American actor.

p/s: Hoping the blog change resembles the change I'm trying to make. Woots :)

Random again.

2011-10-09T19:45:00.005+01:00

"It's feeling like our time's run out,

but the hourglass just flipped itself over again"

BA :)

Hello to another random post.

What do you do to kick laziness away? Actually, you can't. All you can do is just deal with it. I've been living like a jobless lad, waking up not to the sunrise, but to the bright sunlight of the noon. The noon, man, people are getting ready to have lunch when I'm still rubbing my eyes. I know this kinda post sounds cliche, because I complained about not having enough study time every now and then. Oh grow up.

When you have the ability to read books, and make notes, and cook, but you deliberately choose not to do it, that's what laziness is all about. I deliberately choose not to study but to sleep, not to cook but to eat junkfood. The cooking part has a bit of a contributing factor, my housemates all cooked awesome dishes today with pengat pisang and whatnot, explaining why I'm a tad lazy to cook. Macamana nii. Pemalasnyaaa

Or is it the age factor? You know people say your total number of neurones will deteriorate as you grow older. I think that fact works on me.

Sometimes when people feel lazy, they would normally end up doing absolutely nothing. The thing is, I don't function that way. When I feel lazy, I do something else, as an excuse to not having to study and face books. For instance, cycling up to Dundrum alone for the fifth time in a month to get a refund for a pair of shoes. I know, knock some sense into my big fat irrational head please =.=

Actually, I think I'm still in love with the Causeway :)

Weh apa post pointless ni. haihh. I'll feed you with something not time-wasting later. Now kena figure out macamana nk teruskan hidup serba rajin. bye

Happy Happiness.

2011-10-08T21:28:00.004+01:00

21st birthday ended amazingly with another surprise birthday celebration for Yan and the ex-birthday girl. hihik. And the sweet awesome people bought more presents for meee! yayy. The reason I slept with a wide smile :)

Prezziesss. lupa nk amek gambar pyjamas Atiqah sbb terus pakai hehe :p

Anddd to add to the awesomeness of the week, last Friday, someone thoughtful asked if I wanna join a roadtrip to Belfast, of course I said yes :) So I tagged along Mozek, Dea and Dea's pretty sister Ica, all the way to the breathtakingly beautiful Giant's Causeway, shopping spree at Junction One, and we ended our trip with jaipur for dinner :)

For those who've never been to Giant's causeway before (like me), it's an extremelyyyy beautiful wonder of the world. The rocks making up the cliffs are hexagonal in shape, which makes it even more unique. Legend has it that an Irish warrior wanted to build a bridge to Scotland. I don't give much attention to that as the spot itself is soooo beautiful, you can stand on the cliff and it overlooks the horizon :')

Oh I actually don't know if jaipur's an indian or arabian dish but whatevs, it was superb as always. A mix of lamb and chicken kebab with fries and a feel of finger-lickin good. We bought almost 16 packs of jaipur for friends back in Dubs, wajibla pegi Belfast bwk balik jaipur. Souvenir2 ni xpayahh bazir duit je. hahaha

Angin kuat gila xyah cakap. I fell over like a rotten nangka as the wind almost literally blew us away as we walked along the cliff to get to the carpark. Dea n Ica nyorok blakang mozek, Ali xpe ada spare tyre and mind you, it was crazy as we braced through the wind PLUS rain. Basah kuyup all over. I think Dea caught a cold because of that. But it was ALL WORTH IT!

Thank you birthday boy Mozek (birthday falls on the very next day of the trip!), Dea, Ica, and Ali for letting me tag along. Menyibuks saje kannn. A short trip but definitely one I would remember :)

I am the happiest human being alive this week. heee

21

2011-10-05T16:07:00.009+01:00

Yeahh mannn I've always wanted to write this since last year but last year it was the 20th. So here goes; FOREVER 21 YAWWW!

uhuk. gila la dah 21 tak matang lagi. Ok read till the end please, trust me I'm growing up :) This shall be a very serious post, I swear.

Ok I didn't plan to write anything long and touchy-feely but I know people will expect something up in here *eh pirahh perasan*. Sooo last night I went to bed early, and my fishes and I were awaken by the sound of yan's voice, asking me to come down. Penat gosok mata sbb tekejut tetiba cerah, grabbing my tudung and hoodies I went down to a sweet happy birthday song. Ain, Pika, Mif, Yan, Mozek, Dea, Ali and Hakim. They stayed up faithfully waiting for the clock to strike 12. Nisha also sent a cute birthday card, Nady n Izzi gave a call. Thank you uolss, If you have friends willing to travel far at midnight and to restrain from sleeping because of you, slap your face if you're still not thankful. I know I am. Alhamdulillah :')

mainly they're the reason I smiled in Dublin :)

And Pizu baked a really awesome cake I tell youuu! He was always full of surprises, last year I received a huge slice of yummy raspberry (ke blueberry?) cheesecake from him. Thank you pizu, elmo is now my favourite cartoon! Sweet. hehee. I actually had TWO birthday cakes. Korg ade? ade ke? xde kan? selalu satu je kan? Okok enough childish crap. Another friend brought another cake decorated with Tatty Teddy! It is so cute that akem touched the bear almost a hundred time =.='

I have two awesome cakes. You may cry of jealousy now. And I shall continue eating these awesome cakes. bye

Mama and abah called late at night, but already on the 5th Oct malaysian time to wish. Ayit, Ira and Adik wished too. This has been my 3rd consecutive year celebrating without them, miss them still :')

And everybody else just makes turning 21 sweeter. Thank you :)

Anyways, before posting this I was thinking about what a birthday post would sound like, about my thanks to everyone and detailed story of the celebration, or about my new resolutions of turning 21, or about my regrets for the past 1 year, yada yada yada. Then I thought. Screw the ideas. It's just a day which happens to have the same number of days and the same month with my birth date. My birthday is still 5th of October, 1990. Allah has been steadily adding bright wonderful years to my age, so thank you Allah for that blessing :)

The biggest thanks goes to my first ever birthday celebrator (?), Mama and Abah. Love you to the moon and heaven :)

Don't look for things or people that aren't there, just always be thankful of what you have. Because the more you look for things that are not with you, the more you find that there's something wrong with what you have.

I am now officially 21. Yes, Dr. (-to-be) Zulaikha, welcome to adulthood.

My first 21-year-old target: Pointer higher than any of the previous semester inshaAllah. Kiasu much? Doa please. ameen :)

Yours truly, Zulaikha Zainol, aged 21 years old :)

Oh man. 21 sounds so cliche.

2011-10-02T19:35:00.002+01:00

I hate it when I'm about to hug someone awesome, my face hits the mirror. *wipe dusts off shoulder*

I know. Epic, right?

p/s: Apejadah flyfm main lagu doraemon pukul 2 pagi malaysia. =.='

Happy 11th :)

2011-10-01T22:15:00.004+01:00

Hey ;)

Went out for a paintball session under UCD's Malaysian Society, though only 6 of the third-years joined, I'm the only senior girl and the rest are juniors, it was still pretty much awesome. It rained all day, so imagine shooting people with water splattering all over your goggles.

Arrived home safely but soaking heavily because of the rain, and after settling down and cleaning everything up, just realized there're bruises on my knees and thigh. Baru nk bangga sbb ingat x kena tembak. Sekali hamek kau, betompok sana sini. Urghh x sedar pun bila kena =.=' Dah la dahi luka tehantuk tong, serius macam mangsa penderaan domestik. sobs

Ok the truth is, I don't feel like posting anything (penipu gila dah panjang membebel). No seriously all I wanted to do now is get some rest and clear my mind from, err, whatever it is that needs to be cleared.

Tapi...

teringat esok birthday adik, and I know she'll definitely read this :) So nak jugak tulis something.

Adik, lolo misses you! :'( Actually rindu nak peluk kuat2, peluk ira x sedap sangat, peluk ayit dia busuk. hahaha. Happy 11th birthday adik! Please stop growing will ya? Everytime I went back it seems like you guys jumped into a time machine or something. Medicine really took a toll on me, having to sacrifice being home and watch you grow up right in front of my very eyes. tsk.

Sorry lolo selalu marah adik bila emo and selalu buli adik and selalu muka ketat bila fetch adik balik sekolah. Tapi lolo tolong jaga rabbit adik jugak kan kan kan? hehe. I love you still ;)

:')

Jadi baby sister yang comel sentiasa, jadi anak solehah utk abah n mama, bila baca doa panjang yg adik selalu baca sorg2 malam2 tu jangan lupa doa utk lolo okeh. Starting from now lolo will pray bagi upsr 5A tahun depan. I love you to the moon and heaven! :)

Off to get my beauty sleep now. Selamat malam dunia,and goodnight little goldfishes :)

p/s: Have you ever felt a moment when you're a bit lost, and then it gets worse when you misses home, and then you just taste that overwhelming feeling of total sadness? Yeah, I'm feeling it now. ~~Demmit.~~ Haippp no cursing ikaaaa.

"Happy girls are the prettiest" - Audrey Hepburn

(I think I'm ugliest right now =.=')

In a day.

2011-09-30T17:30:00.004+01:00

Three things left me smiling today. And also makes me go all shoo-shoo-shoo sugartown :)

Sequenced according to the order of when it happened, wah skema uols!

1) An unexpected parcel arrived at my door, addressed to zulaikha gojes. And in it, a gorgeous-looking purse I very much needed to replace that childish purse I currently use. The person behind this conspiracy said he can't stand my polkadottish purse hahaha. Cheers to maturity! :D

The first reason hee :) Thank you pencinta chips! ;p

2) Another unexpected thing arrived. Meet my new-found happiness, a pair of goldfish :) Makes me all wide-eyed like a child given candies because I've always enjoyed looking at the little guppies we had back home. Mind you, I can go for hours just staring at the tank :) Fascinating creatures, and now I have two in my room! You should see them go bloop-bloop. haha

Two little babies. Now I'll be waking up everyday with a goodmorning bloop-bloop.hee.

Thank you, you-who-always-know-me-too-well :)

3) Called home and found out that my big fat bro is home again. Left me smiling to know that everyone's home to celebrate Adik's 11th birthday :) Hugs and kissesss :')

You know how great God is, making even the simplest thing special to us. I feel special, all in just a day. Playing in my head since the prezzies arrived :) Slalu rasa nk skipping ala2 kanak2 dapat cotton candy bila dgr. and yessss I'm a happy smiling human being today.

Cinnamon bun.

2011-09-28T22:09:00.003+01:00

Hello there. You know that one moment in your everyday life, where you expected yourself to do something but you didn't just because you don't want to a.k.a malas? When you spoiled your flawless happy day with a single downgrading incident and you just want nothing more than sleep? Yep, for me, right now's the moment. I don't wanna do anything else than be a cinnamon bun. Bye-bye confusing tutorials and professional medical career. Because my new ambition is now, a cinnamon bun.

OMNOMNOMNOMNOM

Goodnight world. Off to Lalaland :)

p/s: I smiled a lot today :))

Oh boyy.

2011-09-26T23:44:00.002+01:00

An hour spent drooling over streptococcus, ended with an hour spent on youtube and facebook.

Whyyyyyy?

Coz dude, that's how we roll.

So, rate study n rate bergolek2 bwh duvet depan laptop is ONE to ONE.

Does that mean the ratio between success and failure is 50:50? Oh boyy I'm doomed.

By the way my lovely housemates and I hosted an open house last Sunday and it was awesome I tell youu, well, of course apart from the basi leftovers which left us devastated. Baru ingt ada bekal seminggu.tsk

Will update later on the party. Now back to the way we rolll

Rollin' rollin' rollin', they see me rollin', they hatin'. ok dah dah makin crappy ni. bye see ya dont wanna be yah!

One of the nights.

2011-09-23T00:28:00.003+01:00

When you're suddenly insomniac

When you ran out of things to do

When studying is not an option

When novels seemed boring

When facebook seemed useless

When your mind wanders to the past

When your mind dawdles on the future

When you looked back on resolutions you made a week ago

When you simply let your mind goes empty

and when blogging just feels so right.

This is one of those nights.

This exact same time, next year, I wonder what I'll be doing. Probably away in some suburban area alone to do whatever clinical rotation I have. Pathetic. But something that's worthwhile is never easy. A sacrifice I have to make indeed.

Found this image. Exactly the world we live in;

Sapa terase angkat tgn. *raise hand* Manusia dan mulut, mulut dan manusia. Ayuh jaga :)

I better take off to dreamland now. Goodnight :)

Berry wednesday :)

2011-09-21T17:27:00.003+01:00

Today I went home a bit late even though classes finished at 1pm. Decided to wait for the rest who had tutorial, so I walked home accompanied by Yan :)

A few days ago while we were rushing to class, we stumbled upon a lady with her dog, who stopped by the bushes and seemed to pluck those tiny round fruits. And we thought, hey bila masa buah ni boleh makan, tengok dktt2 baru tau pokok raspberry! Wah. But because we're cool medic students and cool medic students were normally late to class, terpaksa la rushing n melupakan hajat memetik wild raspberries ala2 red riding hood. tsk

Tapi tadi, tgh jalan balik ngan yan, baru teringat, ehhhh haritu ada mokcik petik2 kann. So apa lg, mmg botak la pokok tu ktorg petik tanpa mempedulikan pandangan org ramai yg maybe monolog dalaman, "Ape minah 2 org ni ingat dusun bapak die ke nak petik buah tgh2 jalan." Oh of course they should be monolog-ing in English duhh =.=

Hand-picked wild raspberries! Bangga kejap. Kan senang xya tanam2 pokok kt farmville dah, petik sendiri sudaa. hoyeahhh

omnomnomnomnom

Picking tips: Pick the black ones, coz the red ones aren't ripe enough. Kang kelat blame saya plak

And I think I've found the right spot to study, but it's definitely not my own room :) Bilik sendiri too much distractions, laptop, House series, facebook, you name it bro.

Ok nak petik lagi esok. Org lain xbley petik! Ktorg dah chop! Hahaha boleh plak camtu kan. Eh petik la kalau lalu kawasan tu, rezki Allah bagi :)

To those yg tgh pulun puasa 6 di hujung syawal, selamat berbuka :)

Minggu lalu.

2011-09-20T16:20:00.008+01:00

Wah tajuk macam nak present episod drama minggu ini, minggu lalu mempamerkan jeng jeng jeng.. duhhh

Last week was a mess, or should I say, an awesome mess, coz I had a good time reorganizing everything to kick-start the new term, though it was quite a mess. Buat garda or the renewal of my Irish IC, preparing documents for JPA and garda, shopping dalam hujan, reconnecting the Internet, paying up the phone bills etc, finally relieved sbb sepatutnya dah boleh start study dengan aman sejahtera. Malangnya x start lg, hmm...

Anyways, the weekend was occupied with open houses, and my tummy was gastrologically happy :) Menu semua nak mantap je, satay bagai, mmg balik tebongkang kekenyangan. Thanks tuan2 rumah yg baik hati budi sekalian :) Oh btw we cycled to all the open houses, in baju kurung, yes people, in baju kurung, proud of myself, cycling around effortlessly dgn kain terbang2 wahhh *clap clap*

minah rempitan

i think i look good in purple *puke*

Oh oh freshers' week also started yesterday. Ya know, the week where bands came over to jam on the stage in front of the student centre, and all clubs were busy recruiting new members. I'll just stick faithfully to Islamic Society and Malaysian Society. Anti-social kan? Dahhhh tahun ni malas nak aktif2, nak study je naikkan pointer yg dari dulu asyik turun tangga x naik2 =.=

Tahun ni 7-up pulak tin dia. Last year redbull ke apa tah

Ok if anyone's interested to buy used books from seniors, here's a list I found in health science. Tau x sbb apa amek gamba list ni? Sbb....list tersebut....ditampal....di....pintu...........

TOILET. hahahaha. terisi masa pengguna2 jamban hari ini

Gile la budak medic, punye nak guna masa sebaik mungkin, sambil poo2 pun boleh membeli-belah buku =.= But I must say, it's a very strategic location to advertise :p

And a note to anyone who also has a blog, I recommend you to disable the right-click function on your blog, at least to prevent anyone downloading your pictures and stuff. Just google on the how-to. Happened to a friend of mine and it was very, erm, disturbing, having anonymous people reusing your pictures. Oh well nothing is safe on the Internet nowadays, but better be safe than sorry okayh :)

Rasa mcm nak keep writing more and more from now on. Probably making it a hobby to kill time :)

p/s: thank you gemok , and all the best in focusing :)

Eliza Doolittle rocks.

2011-09-20T16:07:00.003+01:00

the last flight ;(

When all you gotta keep is strong,

move along :)

Sighing.

2011-09-16T22:08:00.003+01:00

is a sign of defeat. I won't sigh no more! Cecehh haha semangat

Ok serious mode. Ever felt like you have everything you wanted but you're still unhappy? Can anybody tell me why in the world does unhappiness exist even when you get every single thing you wanted? Why am I unhappy sometimes even though I basically have everything I longed for? Maybe because I know what I have now won't last. Maybe because I know one day I will lose them. Maybe. Or maybe because humans are born that way, bagi betis nak paha, dapat sikit nak lebih lagi. Maybe?

I despised this feeling, The feeling of never getting enough. The feeling of temporary happiness. Like I wanted a leather jacket, I went out, I bought one, I went home happy. Then that's it. The happiness just flew by, visiting me only temporarily. Why is that so? Maybe I should buy a leather jacket everyday to make sure that happiness stays =.='

I need what I wanted all the time now. Is that a bad thing? You tell me. Sigh.

And this thing about distance, is it true when people say distance is just a number? For all I know, it's not. It's when someone is so close to you, yet you feel like they're a thousand miles away. tsk

p/s: Kan best kalau baca nota pathology of the oral cavity pun boleh buat kita happy mcm baru lepas beli baju baru.

I'm back, beaches!

2011-09-13T21:55:00.004+01:00

Haha mencarut versi sopan =.='

Okok cursing is not allowed here. Withdrawn. Anggapla I really meant 'beaches' as in pantai-pantai.

Actually I'm back means I'm back in Dublin babyyy! Was that suppose to sound excited? Truth is, it's getting less and less fun, y'know, with the whole studying abroad thingy, it only sounds fun when you're in your first year and you're super excited to brag on your university whereabouts to the makciks and pakciks =.=' Ye la kite mane penah nek kapal terbang pegi jejauh mcm awok2 yg kaye raye

Now, being back just means getting back to books and more stress. Oh this term I am welcomed with an extra element, the WIND. First day pergi kelas melayang-layang mcm kertas. I was waiting for the crossing at the traffic light, angin tolak badan gerak2 mcm tiang lampu kt seblah tu =.=' padahal penuh effort kot memacakkan kaki ke bumi. grrr =.=

Whatevs. Life goes on. With new resolutions and the new room makeover, I'm hoping for the best. So far so good. Tapi xtau la semangat nk tahan sampai bila. Nak doa bg istiqamah sajee :)

Today I bought a brand new drawer set. Pasang sendiri beb, time ni rasa nak thank you kat Mr. Chong cikgu Kemahiran Hidup dulu :')

tadaaaa, drawer set and my new mirror *oh what a loser posting up useless pictures like this, haha ma blog, ma right dude*

Alhamdulillah my biceps grew biggah (tipu) after carrying the 9kg-set and the two full-length mirrors from the city centre back home. Melelong2 angkat dua org. Diiringi hujan rahmat and a few Irish offering to lend a hand :') Thanks a mil pikachuu yg setia menemani :)

First day of the semester was awesome. Walked to the campus since my class started early, and an old lady around tokmas's age accompanied me all the way since we're heading towards the same direction. She was so lovely that I remained smiling until I reached the health science building :) A good start I must say ;) Then the first lecture started off with a silly prank =.=' Malas plak nak cite. So embarassing, pranked by my own classmates, belakon jadi lecturer. Cehhh.

All in all, if you think I'm happy by reading this post, that means I'm good at faking emotions. HAHA.

Till then. Tomorrow'll be a long day. Hati be strong please, xnak sedih2 :)

Beratnya.

2011-09-10T14:56:00.003+01:00

Beratnya hati nak balik Dublin sama berat dgn beg yg terlebih berat. Weh asal kena 20kg? Dah la travel beribu-ribu batu hanya berbekalkan doa dan keinginan mencari ilmu n taktau bila akan kembali lagi. Diskriminasi mengikut kelas penerbangan betul mentang2 la titeww ekonomi jeww. Belia benci diskriminasi =.='

Well the truth is, nobody wants to leave the comfort of your home, right? My last few days were spent snapping at everyone just because I feel reluctant to go back. Last Thursday I shouted madly at Ira because she was playing around refusing to wear the seatbelt on the highway. Sigh. Emo gila. Sorry lilsis, anda mangsa keadaan.

And my mood wasn't all happy and beaming all the time. With a thing that happened lately, sometimes it feels like God is throwing me challenges to see if I can cope.tsk :(

Anyway, since tonight is my last night in Penang, we went out to our favourite kedai mamak. Lepas tu bedal tosai 2 keping. Lepas tu balik terus happy. Mama pn cakap, laaa rupanya emo2 dua hari ni ubat dia adalah tosai. MUAHAHA

The girls came over a lot, mcm tau2 plak kaklong nak balik dah. Haha. Oh btw, our bunnies Hersheys and Hippy recently added 4 baby bunnies to the family :) Sbb tu budak2 ni slalu datang main dengan rabbit :D

The black one I'm holding, Adik named it Dublin :)

"It's so fluffy I'm gonna dieeeeeee"

Haha risau gila tengok Adriana pegang rabbit main cengkam2 mcm pegang teddy bear =.='

Awhhh I'm gonna miss these little girls :)

My next post will probably be from Dublin with love gituu. Esok flight pagi. Kenang daku dalam doamu :)

Epic.

2011-09-09T10:43:00.002+01:00

Opened my aunt's facebook and read this. Haha cool.

4 rules to remember in life:

1. Money can't buy happiness but it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes rather than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy but remember that bastard's name.

3. Help someone when they're in trouble and they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

Oh shoot. Number 4 is so true. I wonder how many people I'd shoot if it's legal MUAHAHA *evil laugh* I may look calm, but in my head I've shot you many times. HAHA statement saiko x? Omg I've turned into a psycho gunman, run joey runnnnnn! =.=' Anyone ever listen to the glee version of Run Joey Run? Haha random gila.

I'm going back to gloomy Dublin the day after tomorrow, and only 1% of my heart wanted to go back, the rest just wanna lay down on the couch and sleep until there's no tomorrow. Well I wish I could sleep forever so that reality won't come crashing me every time I wake up.

Wah apsal ayat nak emo je. Haha kidding, of course I'm excited to go back and start school. Yayyy! Bismillahi tawakkaltu a'lAllah :)

Raya saya :)

2011-09-04T01:04:00.013+01:00

Raya saya meriah, bagaimana pula dengan raya anda? Perghhh ayat bajet wardina kat mhi la

kan.

Alhamdulillah Ramadhan has waved goodbye, though some are sad to leave the blessings of Ramadhan, we received a gift of Syawal :) Tahun ni first time buat open house mega2 on the 3rd of Syawal for family and friends since we moved here around 4 years ago, so it was quite a cheerful raya :D Plus my duit raya collection was wayyy more than last year's , is it because I look younger? Right? Yea, I think so too. HAHA prasan.

Can I just post up pictures pretty pleaseeee with cherries on top? Too lazy bum-bum to type out a lengthy post, as it's already a well-known fact that raya is always AWESOME, I don't have to say much :p

Y'know what I love about raya?

1) FAMILIES REUNITED

1st raya :) abah's candid pose is the coolest. haha

Raya abah's side and guests from afar hehe :)

Our open house :D

2. OPEN HOUSE AND FRIENDS COMING OVER

daniel and fathiah thanks fr coming peeps!

3. KONVOIIIIII (which also means GOOD FOOOD)

rumah hazzuan ada twinsssss

rumah wazir cun ohh, mcm ala2 kampung meets modern

4. REZEKI MURAH ADA ORG NAK BLANJA

alip baik blanja la lagii.ahaks

sebab org blanja kena la buat muka menghargai >

emmmmm dapnyeeeeee dapnyeee

5. BABIES FOUND

EVERYWHERE

abg ijam's baby boy, pipi sebelah sekilo ohemji comel sangatttttt, u should watch him laugh super cute wehh. Meet ashraf daniel aka adam :)

Ayit's favourite cousins, elis and mia

Ciklinda with the baby uncle tek kiang's wife currently nannies :)

hello hensem boys! irfan and JJ :)

model-to-be :p

JJ with his non-stop acts. haha

Professional pianists, kimi and irfan. HAHA

Raya never fails me. Loving every bit of it :) Now boleh balik dublin dgn tenang :)

Oh 3rd year.

2011-08-27T05:35:00.000+01:00

Believe it or not, my 114 days of pure academic freedom will end pretty soon. So here comes the endless lectures and tutorials, the walking in the rain rushing to classes, the jaw-dropping electricity and phone bills, the dramas, the emotional breakdowns, yadayadayada the list goes on. And tell you what, I'm not readyyyyy! My brain went all rusty and useless over the summer break. Of course at the beginning of the semester your spirits went skyrocketing dgn azam baru and whatnot. I have a few resolutions in mind I wish to accomplish, but well, reality always turns out different than expectations =.='

Expectations: Plan to have a proper breakfast every morning before classes and also to pack a healthy lunch instead of buying chips at the student cafeteria which costs 1.90euro per bag of chips.

Reality: Waking up late because of a late-night facebooking session, breakfast nescafe secawan, jalan to class laju2, forgot to bring any packed lunch, ends up buying the unhealthy-but-delicious bag of chips, costing me 1.90euro per day. Sometimes double the price, sbb kalau lapar beli 2 kali MUAHAHA. Bye-bye proper breakfast and packed lunch! =.='

Expectations: Stay back after lectures to finish up the notes for the day.

Reality: Stay back after lectures in the library/ computer room, with my laptop for the sole purpose of searching for medical terms I don't understand but end up facebooking+ other unnecessary webby stuff until my eyes felt like I'm dozing off. Pastu give up sebab konon2 mata dah penat, and head straight back home. Bye-bye notes for the day!=.='

Expectations: Bangun subuh awal utk solat jemaah with the whole house.

Reality: Bangun subuh hujung2 x sempat nak jemaah sbb everyone's rushing to clean themselves and solat subuh cepat2 before the sun shows up 5 minutes later. Bye-bye 27 ringgit pahala! =.=' ( my housemates are all early birds, I used to be the last one up. kena bgn awal next sem! )

Expectations: Went to classes earlier to print out all the lecture notes beforehand sbb nanti ramai org berebut printer kat comp lab.

Reality: Kan dh ckp td, bangun lmbt, pastu smpai 5 minutes after classes start. Lecture notes kemana, buku nota pn tetinggal kdg2. Bye-bye lecture-notes-before-classes-begin!

Expectations: Try out new recipes other than masak lemak cili api, kari, tomyam, paprik, ayam bakar pelbagai rasa, and the all-time favourite; telur mata+kicap perghhhh

Reality: Always end up cooking the same thing sbb malas pk lauk lain plus it saves a whole lot of time to just shove the chickens in the oven and leave it to roast for 45 mins. Dasar pemalas punye anak dara ni. What to do, sometimes the internet seems more interesting than cooking. Anak dara alaf baru kannnn. HAHA. Bye-bye innovative new recipes!

Expectations: Have a long decent conversations with fellow groupmates other than about exams and schedules and anything academical.

Reality: Actually talks about exams, schedules, and academic stuff because that's all we have in common. Bye-bye socializing with total coolness! =.='

Expectations: Saves up money after every 3 months' allowance.

Reality: Oh ada baju cantik kalau x beli skrg nanti dh x dpt. Always seems nervous with having a lum-sum amount credited to my bank account that I need to finish it all up asap =.=' Bye-bye saving money, you ungrateful shopaholic! =.='

Actually I can list up to a hundred. But you won't bother reading all of em, they're just pathetic, I'm pathetic =.=' See there's a lot of thing I need to amend. a LOT. Sigh. 3rd year is rumoured to be the beginning of endless tortures so changes need to start now. Thing is, I don't know where to begin.

Spoil plak mood nak raya kan. HAHA. Salam Eidul Fitri Mubarak everyone! I'm gonna miss Ramadhan terribly :') Remember to forgive and forget, that's what Syawal is about anyway :)

Love you!

Them :)

2011-08-26T01:58:00.004+01:00

Went out with these prettayh ladies last two days, after what felt like ages :D

stumbled upon fathiah unplanned! <3

Buka puasa at Eighteen again :) the appetizahhh was yummayhhhh!

I swear I love them to bits.

Ronggeng kak limah!

2011-08-24T07:17:00.002+01:00

Cuaca mendung harini ibarat melambangkan kemendungan hatiku. Ecehh

Hari ni dating dengan buah-buah hati pengarang jantung pisangku. Note the plurality of buah hati, people. Nampak sangat playgirl. hahah

Can't wait! See you pretty people soon! :)

p/s: bajet feeling2 twitter lah kan, update post ketot cemetot mcm ni baik xyah update kannnn =.='

The constant why.

2011-08-22T08:40:00.005+01:00

Why do humans create the question why?

Why do eggs have the colour yellow and white?

Why do little kids often act shy?

Why oh why?

Why does elephant have large ears?

Why do words send you to tears?

Why do tigers act so fierce?

Why oh why?

Why do your loved ones make you sad?

Why do you avoid taking time instead of snapping mad?

Why do you throw out words even when you know it hurts?

Why do you not think before letting your anger burst?

Why oh why?

Why do things always turn out difficult when they're not?

Why do cheese left outside will soon rot?

Why do you hurt someone you adore when you don't mean it?

Why do you run whenever you saw a dog instead of ignoring it?

Why oh why?

In life, some things remain unanswered, some other unpleasant things remain unavoidable when you tried hard to avoid them. That's life as it is. Things happened, and instead of letting out anger, asking why why why, and blaming everyone you love for what's happened, you'd be better off embracing the mistakes and make things better. I failed again today, I've wronged so many times and now I wonder why is it so hard to change for you? :( I have no idea to what day will I ever succeed to change but until the day comes, I wish you were still there (:

And why do babies have the cutest littlest foot that makes you go 'awwww' whenever you hold them? :) This is our 8-day-old baby aisyah, the new addition to our huge family :)

Kak Wati+Abg Mat's little sweetheart, God's little wonder ;)

Kuih oh Kuih

2011-08-19T09:01:00.006+01:00

Bukan kuih lepat atau ketayap atau keria, tapiii kuih raya! Ya, kuih raya. Tahun ni demam nak buat kuih raya maka telah berjaya memecahkan rekod sebanyak 4 jenis to this date uolsss. *clap clap clap baik clap sekarang kalau x putus kawan * Pecah rekod sebab slama ni kalau buat kuih hanyalah hangat-hangat tahi ayam suam-suam kuku and sekadar mahu menunjukkan ciri-ciri feminin haktuihhh

I went to Aunty Ayu's house (my neighbour) to learn how to make pineapple tarts as she currently takes orders for Raya cookies. So I managed to bake a tray of those tarts and hers is the simplest recipe ever! Uli pakai tangan plak tu, x main la mixer2 ni. Only sebuku butter, 350gm flour, 50gm sugar, 50gm susu nespray, and tadaaaa, congratulations you've got yourself the most yummy tarts evahh!

Tapi sorry no pictures for the tarts so xda bukti :( Eleh xnak caya suda, skit pun x kisah la der.

Andddd yesterday I tried making crystal balls, and they turned out fine! *jaw dropped in disbelief* Tak penah2 try recipe internet n menjadi sebijik plak tu. Crystal ball is basically a counterpart of kuih makmur, so to speak. Recipe pun simple, minyak sapi 125gm, tepung gandum 250gm, gula 100gm, pewarna red, green, yellow, and tadaaaa, yessss there you have it, the cutest crystal balls evahhh! Semue nak yummy ever cutest ever susah la kan. Perasan betul =.=' Tapi kuih ni comels sesangat you guys should try! And don't ask me why is it called crystal balls I have no idea whyy

Bola-bola ~~api~~ kristal

And then todayy, since my grandma came over to stay at our house until this weekend, we make our own little cookie-making session. Dapat 2 jenis kuih harini! Semperit and choc-chip cookies. Semperit pnye recipe kena tanya tokmas sbb tokmas yg mix everything tadi x sempat tengok

=.=

Choc chip cookies and semperittt

For the choc-chip cookies I used mostly oat and brown sugar, and x sampai sejam dah dapat 100 biji ++. Kuih semperit is easy but the difficult part is to make that pretty little flowery shape, so I leave that for tokmas to attend. Hehe

Since raya cookies are very pricey nowadays, why not opt for your own home-made cookies? Cewahh kau tengah cuti boley la ckp cmtu. X x serius saya sokong pembuatan kuih fresh dari dapur sndiri ! :)

Selamat baking to all pretty ladies, kalau Tuhan bagi cuti peristiwa tu memang masa yg baik utk try buat kuih banyak2, at least nothing will turn out too sweet or too salty etc :p

Cousins unite!

2011-08-18T13:36:00.004+01:00

Yay after weeks of planning and unplanning we finally decided to go for a short shopping spree and iftar afterwards. Coincidentally Awib (my cuz) is bringing his fiance to Penang for iftar so Nadia and Apiq tumpang sekaki ;) So we met up at the bridge and leave the two lovebirds alone

Oh btw we had our iftar at the restaurant where Kak Noli works, easier to made a reservation, just give Kak Noli a call and everything else's settled. She even got us a very strategic parking spot hihi :p

Anndddd the meal was awhhhhsome! Dah heboh kat fb tapi nak heboh jugak sebab awesome sangat. A whole set of meal only costs us RM19.80 per head. Yes people, RM19.80 weh! The set comprises of an appetizer (we had tomato soup) + the main course + bottomless drinks yg sedap (I ordered iced peach tea nak refill 100 kali pun boleh) + dessert (a bunch of ice-cream flavours you can scoop by yourself as many times as you like ) anddd the atmosphere of a very fine dining experience. I love the dessert, you can pour gallons of Hershey's chocolate syrup if you want. *sugar overdose*

Since I no longer have a tumblr can I just post pictures here and stop blabbering too much? HAHA

Ok let the pictures tell off our day ;)

Queensbay jap shopping-tingkap =.='

Our dishes! :) I had pan-fried dory. Which was superbbbb

Nadia dengan waitress hot :p Kak Noli in her all-black attire hehe

hotsetapp

Lepak mamak jap afterwards, joined by Awib n Kak Ida (future cousin-in-law). woohoo

Ok ni saja nak tunjuk editing features baru kat picnik. Space features! =.=' Bajet ada matahari palsu la kat blkg kan ceceyy

Had a great time with these two gorgeous girls. Thanks tokmas sbb melahirkan mak-mak kami yg seterusnya melahirkan kami pd tahun dan waktu yg hampir sama. Hahah

I love maa girls yaww ;)

Facebook.

2011-08-17T04:17:00.005+01:00

is like a drug many people can't live without. Sadly I belonged to that pathetic group.

Yes we can't deny the good purposes it serves. That's why you rarely find anyone deactivating facebook permanently. It's like your second virtual life. Friends you haven't met for years are suddenly in touch with you again. Inviting people to events are made easier. Your birthday won't seemed pathetic and lonely again when hundreds of people you barely knew leave birthday wishes on your wall. If you're in a relationship you don't have to flaunt it around, you can just change your statuses on facebook and people will know. Photo sharing has never been easier. Exchanging hi-s and hellos when you're miles apart makes you feel closer. And the list goes on to infinity.

You know what the setback is? When your life revolves around it. When you're online and you didn't reply a post on the wall from a friend silap haribulan boleh terasa. When you have a boyfriend/girlfriend and he/she didn't leave you as much comments and likes as he/she did to anyone else, it can turn into a pointless jealousy. When people didn't reply your comments or wall posts and you take it to your heart, terasa tiba2. When people don't leave 'likes' on your page as much as you leave 'likes' on theirs and you feel offended. When you're invited to an event and you didn't reply any RSVP and people wonder why you turned down the invitation. When you flaunt your bf/gf around to make his/her exes jealous. When you blocked/unfriended people here and there simply because they annoy you and you think blocking/unfriending can avoid you from them. When you go over-friendly with someone else's partner just to annoy them and the list goes on too. No offense people, and don't worry I did some of those things too.

Whatever happens to real-life socializing?

Come on Ika (and people), your worth is not measured in 'likes', comments, wall posts, or number of friends on your page. I worth more than that. You are, too.

Say no to pretentious immature facebooking!

Selamat meraikan nuzul Quran semua! Juzuk berapa dah harini? ;)

I need this very badly.

2011-08-16T07:58:00.004+01:00

Ok tajuk macam over. Hahah. Yes people, I need a pair of washed-out light blue jeans pronto! I've been trying to get myself a pair of this back in Dubs. I searched high and low for a perfect pair of washed-out jeans, but to no avail. The closest I get is a very nice pair I like from pull&bear but it has all those koyak rabak thingy on it so that's a major turn off, because I don't think a pair of koyak rabak jeans suits me well =.=' Why do you have to put those ugly holes on that beautiful jeans oh designer people, whyyyy tell me whyyyyyyy

nak cenggini, tapi nak straight cut not skinny. wah choosy plak

Why do I need a pair of jeans, specifically a washed out one? Here's why. Because I think it's cool. Hahah boleh pulak kan. See these people looking cool in a washed-out wonder yaww

miley C

selena gogo

kate moss

Aaahh geram gila dari tahun lepas cari tak jumpa. Kalau jumpa pun msti skinny. I want a straight cut not skinny. My level of neediness towards this jeans has reached the threshold whereby kalau org nak masuk minang, I'll ask for a pair of that as hantaran. Huh

Macam apa kecoh gila nk cari selua =.=' Nak buat cmna semalam penat pusing satu mall x jumpa jugak grrr. ish apsal suma jeans nak colour gelap skang? Kalau takde jugak kang pakai clorox nak bleach selua aci x?

Tolongg dah putus harapan. Anyone who knows any stores having this pair of jeans for sale, can you please tell me so I can stop my silly search of jeans? Makin hari makin crappy post pasal jeans la plak, nampak sangat dah ketandusan idea =.='

p/s: I promised Adik I'd buy her an angry bird bag if she scores in her exams, which she did. So I bought her the bag and she posted about it in her blog haha comel gila. Semua org sila follow dia so dia x mengadu blog dia x byk followers =.=

Of reunion and the second week of the Holy Month :)

2011-08-14T13:28:00.006+01:00

Heyho people. Believe it or not Ramadhan's already approaching it's 3rd week, how time flies ;)

Last few days have been pretty awesome, with the reunion and relatives coming over for iftar. That's what I love most about Ramadhan, it doesn't only give you the chance to get closer to God, it also makes you closer with your awhsome aunties uncles cousins and friends ;)

My former classmates from my lower secondary school planned a reunion and though I wasn't planning to go until the last minute, it turned out to be one great iftar :) Around 20 of us turned up, I haven't met these girls for almost 7 years after PMR and catching up is definitely a must. Well, we did make quite a chaos at the restaurant, what to do, that's what an all-girls school's ex-students do whenever we meet up :p

gathered before heading to our iftar spot :) pokpekpokpek dah dua org mokcik tu haa hahaha

With two of my friends actually married and one of them expecting a baby, there's definitely a lot more catching up to do. Though it was fun, one of the girls break a shocking news to me, that one of my classmates in Form 2 passed away from an accident last year. And what a loser I am for not knowing at all, right? Tsk. Al-fatihah to Farah Nordiyana..

curi gamba masyitah. everyone so pweetyyy

After iftar I actually decided to head straight back home, since I live the furthest. Tapi x puas merapu meraban dgn budak2 cantik ni, so I called home and told Mama I'll be home late, sbb nak ikut budak2 ni pergi tarawih at Masjid Bayan Baru. Why Bayan Baru? Because Nad says they finish the 8-rakaat tarawih pretty early so we'd had time to sambung lepak later. Ish3 =.=' hahah

So off we went for tarawih and head off to the next hangout spot by the beach behind queensbay, exactly facing the magnificent Penang Bridge. COOL habes okey! If you need a spot to chill you should really head to that place (I don't know what's its name but it's somewhere further up from queensbay mall =.='). Awesome view people!

It's great to know they're all doing good, one of the girls, Zaihan actually has her own boutique now, 'Iffah is currently reading medicine in Jordan, Chip is having her internship in an audit firm and many more awesome stories from each of them. Too bad I can't stay until late night coz I have to drive home early. Ok I can go on forever telling you what happened to these beautiful ladies. Serius nak jumpa lagi sometime soooooonnnn :D

Anyhoos, iftar with the family have never been better, with makjang's family coming over and us receiving our little guests every so often :p You know my neighbours' little kids always pay us a visit during the afternoon before buka puasa to play with the rabbits or with my little sisters, and sometimes, with myself =.=' (Ok xnak ngaku main ngn budak2 at the age of 21 =.=' )

This is during a full house =.=' Izzah and Iris came over, and then Alisya and her lilbro Aliff also came by with their bikes. Dah mcm nursery dah ghupe ni. hahah. Aliff comel gila everytime he asked for something and you refused, he'll do his adorable pouty lips to win your heart. Cehhh bodek pandai ni besa jadi girl magnet :p And boyyy you should watch Alisya on the piano, like a pro okeh for a 7-year-old :O

It's fun having them around, especially when Iris and Izzah came over and I swear you'll never get enough of Iris's 3-year-old cute kiddie accent. She called Abah 'unter' instead of uncle, and 'tatak' instead of kakak. It gets even cuter when she tried hard to get a point across and you don't understand. Haha comey to the max :D

And and one more thing, this babyfaced (yuck!) college-boy decided to come home from Subang for the weekend hahah. Excited sangat jadi budak taylors kannn tu yang liat nak balik mcm dodoi =.=' Since Ayit were home we went to visit Mia at my aunty's. Mia is the cutest ever princess of my cousin Abg yon and kak shila :D Omg she's so funny she actually cried out 'sempuuuuttt' sepah-style. Adoi killer cuteness >.<

Nur Saradamia aka Miaaaaa :DDD

Ok I think I blabbered too much. Hah kau sapa suruh lama x update. Sorry saya mmg mcm ni, summer break had turned me into a badd baddddd procrastinator =.=' Till then, Selamat Mencari Lailatul Qadr! :) Salam

For the first time.

2011-08-13T11:47:00.003+01:00

Irish bands always hit me hard, especially right now :(

3:15.

Minda saya.

2011-08-09T06:31:00.002+01:00

Second post in a week! Yayy me! =.='

I've learned something about the human mind, better yet, MY mind. Just so you know, our mind cannot move away from something, it can only move TOWARDS something. Ok x paham kan? Easily said, minda kita xbley bergerak menjauhi something, tapi only bergerak ke arah something. LOL tu mcm translate balik je =.='

Serius x tipu. Example always help. So here's one. Imagine if you were screamed at by someone and you wanted to forget it. So you kept thinking, "I don't want to remember what him/her did to me." In the end, you actually end up remembering every single detail about that incident. This is because, your mind moves towards the "remember" part. Try letting your mind think of "I WANT to forget whatever he/she did to me." If you try hard enough to focus on what you WANT, trust me, you'll forget that day as if it never happened :)

Say you got yourself a brand new car, a very expensive and shiny one. And you keep thinking," I don't want to scratch my new car." In the end, on that very day, you ran into a huge vase and walla, you've scratched your new car. Your mind moves you towarsd scratching your car and you did exactly what you think you wouldn't do. Try thinking, "I'll drive safely." Your mind will focus on trying to stay safe, and your car will stay flawless like you wanted it to :)

Sounds simple right? Well, good things don't happen in a blink of an eye. I know It'll need effort. You know, controlling yourself is not as easy as it seems. Miserable and hurtful things have happened throughout the year, yet many happy events also were in my calendar. I'll stick to remembering the latter, and try to forget whatever bad things that happened over the year.

Besides, as we grow old we carry around a bag of memories with us. Who would want to have a huge burdensome of miserable things in their bag, right? God is great, He gave lessons through very mysterious and loving ways :)

Ok pointless betul =.=' Thanks andrew matthews, you've been such a sweetheart lately ;)

Ramadhan here and there.

2011-08-07T14:58:00.008+01:00

Hello pretty peeps! See baru terhegeh-hegeh nak update, baik xyah ada blog kan kan kan. Ok actually I was running out of ideas, don't know what to write and don't know what to feed the blog. I figured I'd wait until the first week of Ramadhan ended, so at least I can blabber on how fun the first week had been for me :)

And then suddenly a thought came by as the Somalia famine hit the headlines recently. Just so you know, Somalia is a Muslim country. So basically our bro and sis are starving while we swallowed down a huge plate of nasi briyani and soya bean and ayam percik and roti john and god-knows-what-else-we-shoved-into-our-poor-little-tummy.

Don't need to search further for an example. Refer to the picture of that greedy girl below =.='

Ishh ishh =.='

Ok that's not the point. The point is, try to be thankful with whatever we are blessed with, and even better if we're able to constantly remind ourselves that there are others who are less fortunate out there who needed a helping hand. To start off, perhaps try to prevent that hungry demon inside you to grab everything at the bazaar, I did that often, which always ended up with food being untouched =.=' Membazir amalan syaitonnirajim, remembah?

I went through the news about the famine, and imagine this young mom, around my age actually, who'd just given birth, having nothing to eat. Delivering a baby was painful enough to leave her weak, and adding salt to the wound, not having anything to recharge her weak body just make it worse. And another sad story of a 7-month-old baby, who only weighed 3.4kg. Oh my for God's sake my darling baby sister weighed 3.7kg when she came into this world!

source:BBC

All these facts and figures are only able to leave our jaw dropped every time we tried to imagine if it's true. As a matter of fact, it is true, and it's happening right now ;( There're a few organisations involved in the humanitarian aid in Somalia. I heard Muslim Aid and the ICRC was currently active helping to cope with the starvation. Google it up and you'll find a lot more medium to donate :)

On another note, had a good time going out with fathiah for an iftar date and the endless search of recipes at borders :p And daniel too, thanks for the iftar, although we can now agree that perhaps we should try out Kenny's next time =.='

Till then. May the 2nd week brings more blessings to all of you! Salam :)

That month of the year.

2011-07-27T04:30:00.004+01:00

Praise be to Allah, bulan itu datang lagi. And as much as I have sinned over the year, I was given the chance to have yet another Ramadhan. Ramadhan al Mubarak :)

I can barely remember my first ramadhan ever. I think I started trying a full-day fasting during standard 1, when I was a 7-year-old kid. Well, it was a challenge as we have quite a multiracial community in my primary school. The non-Muslims were obviously eating nuggets and keropok leko during recess, and to make it worse, some of my Malay friends even brought packed food from home AND offered them to me. Ceitt. Not my fault that my fasting days were always only until recess =.="

Many say Ramadhan is a training academy. A month full of blessings, the stinky devils are all chained up and no one can stop you from having a blessed Ramadhan apart from yourself.

I've been a lousy servant lately, and also, it's quite a disappointment not having to contribute and commit as much as I did last year to my fellow sisters. Though this might be the best summer so far, I daresay it's pretty hard to feed yourself spiritually when you're on your own. Things have changed so much that I figured this Ramadhan may help to prepare me for the better :)

Starting to miss Ramadhan in boarding school and in college. Back in school, for girls, I remembered that if we're not on period, tarawih is compulsory for us, no escaping, unless you're smart enough to get through the prefects. Anddddd if you're on period, or as we'd call it "mamnu' " (yes mamnu' is arabic for 'forbidden', cecehh mentang2 la skolah agama :p) , you'll have to flash the mamnu' card to the prefects. Yes we need to have a card whenever we can't pray and fast, so that no students were able to escape tarawih. Cool system eh?

But of course, the thing I missed the most, is the race to gain as much as we could during Ramadhan. Everybody wakes up wayyy before subuh for qiyam and sahur, leisure time are spent reading the Quran, and dhuha was performed in class, that you'd feel ashamed if you didn't do it. I wonder what actually made all of us very competitive during Ramadhan back then. Probably because we're all innocent 17-year-olds and there're no other influences preventing us from reaching Allah :)

But life's life. Nothing ever remains the same. That spirit during Ramadhan changed too. I wish I'm a 17-year-old still living in that environment :')

Probably efforts are needed the most. Now that we're not living in a boarding school no more, we have to be the ones struggling for ourselves. And at that, I always failed miserably :(

somewhere in 2006. my classmates(minus the boys) with our lovely ustazah. spot me? ahaks

Ok though I'm not a good enough person to give out advises on how to face Ramadhan, I wish you guys the most blessed Ramadhan ever with your loved ones. Make the best out of this Holy month :)

Marhaban ya Ramadhan! Nex monday woohooooooo! :D

Lesson learned.

2011-07-19T04:42:00.007+01:00

Sorry for the late updates. Actually this post was written ages ago but blame my lazy bum-bum, I only had the urge to publish it now. Sorry pretty ladies and handsome gentlemen!

What I did from 6-11 July 2011. Here we go :)

"The best way to find yourself, is to lose yourself in the service of others" - Mahatma Gandhi.

How much truer can that be :')

I once heard that you'll start to love something once they're gone. I guess in some ways, it is true. Maybe it's part of Jalinan Bakti Terengganu (JBT) and Kalsom's withdrawal syndrome, as they say =.= Starting to miss the faces of the orang asli kids and the excitement of sharing experiences at kalsom. tsk

Alhamdulillah. I've just came back from the trip I told you earlier. 5 days in Kuala Berang, then 5 days in Melaka for Projek Kalsom, and sending off Zharrieq to college a day after that. Fuhh. One of the busiest weeks indeed. But one I will remember in many years ahead :)

I daresay this is by far the best summer projects ever, I think I found pleasure in giving back, though not as much as others did. At least the satisfaction is there. Initially, the intention of joining such projects was just meant to be kind of a distraction from a monotonous holiday since I came back. I thought joining them was just intended to fill in the gap I've long had since my summer break started. Turns out they worth more than that. Wayyy more than that. I learned a lot :)

Clockwise from top left; The kids learning to solat | Yek and myself | Teaching them on steps to take wudhu' | the joyful Tepek (I hope I got your name right kiddo) :)

Pictures alone can't describe how fun it is learning from them. Though I can say the kids barely spoke a word to any of us, they actually speak with their eyes and their actions. You know, their shyness, their smiles, so innocent :) And their names are very interesting, we have Apep, Patung, Cilang, and some fancy ones like Zety, Maria, Putri. Trust me, their faces are still familiar to all of us :)

We held a Health Kiosk on the third day, and all the young moms, the kids, the elders, most of them made an effort to come and have their health checked. A lady who was younger than me, came with an infant in her carry, and we found out she actually has 4 other kids at home. Mind you, they get married at such a young age. Some don't even proceed beyond high school, what a pity don't you think? It's good knowing that the teachers in charge at the primary school in the

village were very dedicated and committed in educating those kids. Nonetheless, most parents still do not appreciate the value of education, hence most of the kids do not continue their studies after SPM.

I was in charge of the dental clinic with a few others, and it was super challenging trying to persuade the kids to have their teeth checked. Whenever they see a white van, they'd assume they were the doctors or the nurses coming to give them a painful injection =.=' So, as usual, we opted for bribery muahaha, giving sweets and free toothpastes to those who were brave enough to get on the dental chair. Yasir and Nasreen were awesome enough to put the kids under control with the songs and whatnot haha

Oh I can go on forever babbling on the memories I had at Kg Sg Berua. There're so much to tell and so much to share on this two unique tribes :) My prayers will always go to the kids in the village, may they blossom to be a successful young lady or young man, who will change the fate of their people, and a good Muslim in and out. Do a google search and donate whenever you can, though I daresay they don't need material donation that much, all they need the most are education and a piece of love :)

So moving on to my next project, Projek Kalsom 17, which was held a day after JBT ended, which means I rushed to KL right after JBT to catch the bus to kalsom =.= Awesome activities, awesome friends, coolest project evahhh! It's totally different from what I had in Terengganu, because this time around, I work with form 4 students in a farm comprising of 173 acres of fruit heaven, paddy field, a durian orchard, a huge lake, a mini zoo with camels, and ponies and tonnes of awesomeness! It's a big leap from the extra unbearable heat of Kuala Berang to a fully airconditioned hall at Kalsom, but all in all, both were equally meaningful to me :)

Clockwise from top left; Durian fiesta (thanks to our generous committee for ordering a lorry of durians hihi) | the pretty faci-s; from right Atira, me, Zaza and Nabila | the free goodie bag | my group during the stock market game (siap panjat kerusi ohh) | and us enjoying the durians :)

To my mentees aka groupmates, all the best in reaching for what you want, accountants, engineer, doctors, artist, wheww, I sure am lucky enough to have a group of aspiring professionals :) Sorry for not being an awesome faci like the rest, but trust me, I enjoyed coaching you guys! :)

And of course, last but not least, after Kalsom, all of them came to fetch me up in KL, and we sent off that egg-headed botakhead to his new college the next day :) Have fun lilbro, I know Taylors will treat you well, more than well as far as I can see now =.='

Look how happy he is, having to leave us behind. Evil monster.tsk

I wanted to write more on both projects, because I learned so much and it is unfair to sum it up in a crappy blogpost :( But then again, I guess I'll be recalling stories on the orang asli tribes and the cool form 4 kids in many many many years ahead, probably even to my grandchildren. hihik. Thank You Allah, for allowing me such beautiful experiences :)

Phew. Now that's a pretty long post eh? Kalau x baca memang kuasam la korang, penat taip ni okeh. Haha. Have a blessed Ramadhan guys! :) I guess I'll be updating again soon. Salam

;(

2011-07-17T14:11:00.002+01:00

People always say

Tragedy struck everyday

Some believe it's Allah's tests

While other face it with stress

What would you do

if the test was put on you

or your loved ones

would you cry silently,

or give support in tonnes?

How would you tell

That you're there for them

When distance and time prevail

And stop you from sharing the pain.

What saddens more

Is not the tragedy

But the fact that

You seemed invisible to them

When you tried hard to be there

every step of the way.

Ya Allah

I know I'm not a good servant to You

But help them in every way you could do

Take away the memories from them, please do,

For in highs and lows,

we turn to no other than You.

KL

2011-07-05T03:37:00.003+01:00

Heyy. Just came back from KL last night.

I bought an Aeroline bus ticket to Penang, and the bus trip was funny but awesome. Funny because it was a flight-like bus, so at some point I was thinking of how poyo this bus is, pretending to be an airplane. HAHA. But needless to say, the services and the whole journey were very comfortable. Anyone thinking of commuting KL-Penang should really opt for Aeroline, I'll tell you why you should. Wah dah jd cm promoter la plak =.= The coolest bus ride ever so being the jakun me I had to share this! Takmo bace suda.

There's an in-flight steward, or 'in-bus' for that matter =.= All prim and proper with his vest and whatnot. Kesian gak tgk dia melelong2 bwk coffee atas bus tgh gerak. haha

The steward gave out some really cool announcements, which makes you feel like you're on board an airplane. Example, 'welcome aboard bus ABC1234, I'm forgot-whats-his-name, your cabin crew for today'. Cabin crew siott. And then there's, 'please fasten your seatbelt whenever you're seated'. Seriously very amusing. Haha

Every seat has a plug! A freakin' plug. For those who need to charge their laptop or phone there's electricity available yaww! Cool kan. But I didn't charge my phone so I don't know if the plug actually works or not. Mana la tau tu just perhiasan to show how cool the bus is =.=

All passengers are entitled to a light meal and some drinks. Free mineral water once you're on board. And then we had nasi goreng ayam served by the steward, packed exactly like an in-flight meal. Few hours later you'll be served with tea or coffee, you can even ask for a cup of milo.

The pick-up point for KL is at Corus Hotel, so you don't have to hustle through pudu or duta to get on the bus.

The seat was wider than a standard airline seat. I would say, slightly wider than MAS's economy seat, with a reasonably-sized armrest preventing you from elbowing someone beside you. haha

Every passenger was given a cute lil pink pillow. Sejibik cm MAS. Only they didn't provide a blanket. Amboi lemak la selimut pun nak.

At the start of the jouney you'll be given a headphone, exactly macam yg dlm flight tu. If you've been on MAS before, it was exactly like that. Ada tmpat cucuk headphone at the armrest, but no remote la kan. Over la plak kalau ade remote bagai >.< There're five channels, one for the TV in front. The rest were instrumental. Feeling2 mcm dlm drama plak tgk lua tingkap diiringi lagu melankolik. tsk tsk. I think they should put up some chart-topping songs instead of sad sappy instrumental melodies =.=

The moto for Aeroline is "The Convenient Way To Fly". So you're obviously looking for an in-flight experience on the ground. muahaha. Mostly tourists on the bus. I was on a double-decked bus so tingkat bawah ada mcm ala2 lounge utk melepak. Unfortunately I thought it was for first-class passengers so x g usha la plak kat lounge tu ade ape.

So that's about it. Anyways I was in KL for 3 days, and since I've been wanting to go to the Ampang lookout point, so up we went. Had dinner overlooking the whole KL. Awesome indeed. Watched Malaysia-Taiwan game at home with the family, went to the Game Arcade with lil sis, and enjoyed every minute of it :)

I'll be going to Terengganu tonight, and will be in Melaka after that. So I won't be on the internet much, as if anyone cares anyway. Haha. Do pray for my trip :)

Drivin' Miss Daisy

2011-06-29T05:10:00.005+01:00

Over two years of having a probationary license, I've come to learn that driving doesn't need skills, it needs guts. And that my friend, is what I don't have =.=

I'm thankful that my probationary driving years are spent abroad, which means I don't get to drive that much, hence, lowering the risk of my P license being suspended because of silly driving mistakes. hahah. Anyways, I'll be getting my CDL this July, no more red P stickers needed. tu pon nk bangga? haha so what.

Now being a noob in driving, let me tell you what I hate, according to the viewpoint of a driving noob.

1- Highways. I know highways are the easiest driving medium, you don't have to worry about traffic lights and parkings etc, unless you're speeding too much and encik tiga paku is behind you OR you don't have money for tolls. Duhh. Anyway, I hate highways. Why? Here's why.

Sometimes if you're using a busy route, there'll definitely be a lot of cars in the right lane coz everybody's rushing to work. So when you're on the right lane and trying hard to speed and not to crash into the car in front of you, some smart-ass driver behind you turns impatient and starts kissing your car from behind as if you're the slowest moving vehicle on the planet. Oh come on. Saba boleh x? Banyak keta kot kt depan nk pecut cmna lagi. Grrrr. Oh maybe you need to pee, who knows. Pity you, you impatient show-off.

2-Attitude. See a noob like me don't normally drive like a pro. Sometimes, when you missed a signal, or unaware of the traffic lights, you know you're wrong and you feel bad. So, I don't need someone driving pass me just to give me the lesson. You know, like, susah payah pecut to give me the 'look' to show how wrong I am. Perhaps a polite horn is sufficient enough for that purpose.

Shouting, *Hoi apsal keta kau lagi cantik dr keta aku?!!*

Come on, have some mercy, ok? The next time someone did this to me, I'll shout back, " Ye bang, nak nombor ke?!?" =.=

Gosh, people on the roads can be so harsh sometimes.

So that's what I think of driving, as a noob.

till then. bye

Being happy

2011-06-26T08:27:00.003+01:00

Excuse me for not having this blog updated frequently. Haha asyik2 apologizing for the time lag. What to do, blogging hugely depends on my mood. Ecehh.

Anyways, I've been reading a book recently, a very interesting one I would say. Perhaps because whatever mentioned in the book match perfectly with what I feel the moment I read it. You know I'm not really a big fan of non-fiction, self-motivating books but this one caught me off guard.

Have you ever noticed that when you were waiting for an important phone call the phone never seems to ring? But the moment you stopped waiting and started doing something else, it rings. When you waited for a bus to arrive, it never did, but when you stopped waiting and go buy some air tebu nearby, it arrives. Whenever we wait, it takes a long time to happen. Sometimes, it never happens at all. I wonder why. Maybe because we put too much hope for it to happen that it feels like a gazillion years. And maybe I was too attached to the end result. Wayyy too attached.

What if while waiting for the phone to ring, I cooked a light meal. What if while waiting for the bus to arrive, I read a book. That way, the waiting will be less stressful. Plus, it wouldn't piss me off if the phone doesn't ring and the bus doesn't arrive. Well, maybe a bit angry but not as much as if I've been waiting all day long, right? And perhaps, that was the reason of my being unhappy when things doesn't turn out the way I want it to be, especially when I eagerly waited for the thing to happen. Being angry and unhappy all the time aren't really the best way to live life.

I should stop waiting for things. That will detach me from the end result I've been longing too much and then I can be as happy as teletubbies. Yes, as humans we always wanted things to go our way but God always knows best right? Afterall, He is the Master of all planners. Learned this after a 'huge' plan of a roadtrip that I've been looking forward to for the past few weeks went downhill for a reason God knows why. Ok saba2, kita dah plan Allah cakap x jadi, x jadi jugak. So, that would officially ends my waiting era. I won't wait for anything to happen anymore, I'll just start living in the now, instead of worrying about future concerns because when you live in the now, the future'll come tagging along happily indeed, without you forcing it to :)

Besides, what good would it bring to stay mad at people? Say if you're mad at a waiter for serving the wrong dish, yelled at him and then stormed off the restaurant, you'll be the one without dinner that night. You'll end up hungry all night. You'll be embarassing yourself for yelling your ugly face out at the waiter. You spoiled your own mood for the whole night. And the waiter, went back to work without a scratch, and a happy pay. See who's suffering simply for not forgiving? You. Not the waiter. Stop blaming people or else we'll end up being miserable everyday. No wonder people who went through breakups in movies are so miserable, they didn't forgive. While their exes happily move on with life and go snorkelling in Hawaii, they eat chocolates and ice creams and cried all night and gain or lose 10kg of miserable weight.

What a miserable way to live life. There's too many 'miserable' in the sentence, ain't there? =.=

I blabbered too much, didn't I? Oh well, I needed to spill something or my brain will be overflooded with miserable thoughts. I'll just stick to being happy for now :)

Good day everybody! Smile at the makciks selling nasi lemak and the kakaks selling train tickets at the counter, will ya?

Salam :)

The man who can't be moved.

2011-06-22T16:40:00.001+01:00

This is for the man who can't be moved. No no not my boyfriend (as if I had one), but still the first man who's ever been in my heart. If boyfriends and crushes come and go, this man never leaves, no matter how harsh I've treated him. And if relationships and puppy loves break your heart and send you off crying every night, this relationship I had with this man, never breaks mine.

Last Monday was Abah's birthday, and adding to the excitement, the day before was Happy Fathers' Day. Maybe Abah was meant to be the coolest dad ever, that's why his birthday always fall near Happy Fathers' Day. ahaks

We made a video for Abah but for confidential reasons it won't be included here. Cewah. We're never good with words and expressing our love, the only thing close to us expressing our love for Abah is a "love-you" at every end of a phonecall and salam every night before sleep. Well, apart from adik of course, who's the most manja of us all.LOL. Other than that, it feels awkward having to show the love in reality, perhaps because all of us know that deep inside we love him dearly. And maybe for me, growing up made me a bit shy in expressing that kinda love. Despite all that, for all that I know Abah will always be the first and the last man in my heart :)

Abah and Me. 1991, I think :)

Today I learned something new, love those in your life without expectations. Because when you expected something as a return of the love you give, you'll be the most broken-hearted human being ever in history. I guess that's why it's easy to love this man above, because he loves those in his life without expectations. I should really learn from him.

p/s: Sorry if you found my chatbox missing. My smart-ass brother wrote something stupid on it and I have to delete the whole chatbox. Thanks a lot Barney Stinson copycat =.=

p/p/s: I feel like buying a punching bag and a pair of boxing gloves. You know why dontcha.

Spread the love!

2011-06-17T16:18:00.000+01:00

Salam semua. Well sorry for the time lag between updates, been too occupied with good old Penang.

Apart from the crappy Malaysian internet connection which always goes on and off without warning, I have nothing to miss about Dublin, only thing I'm missing is the Internet speed over on the leprechaun land. Other than that, Malaysia-1, Dublin-0. HAHAH

Just a quick shout-out to all you people full of love,

See, we're heading off to Terengganu for a little mission in an orang Asli village this July. Just a little something to give out since I've been taking so much without giving back. If you feel like contributing in this little mission to help our fellow Malaysians, have a look at the poster above. May Allah look at your every sincerity :)

Language matters

2011-06-09T06:33:00.005+01:00

I'm gonna be really frank in this post. And when I say frank, I mean, really FRANK, honestly transparently FRANK. Haha cuak lettewwww

Because I've been contemplating on whether to write or not to write on this as it may seem offensive to some. But who cares anyway. Haaa double cuak lettewww

I was looking through my old album and found something I deemed quite amusing. Why? I'll tell you why. Remember when we're a kid and we used to write or text our friends in a language that we thought is really really cool? We? Ok this may not happened to you, but I did this in my teenagehood. haha mcm membuka aib la pulak but it's better than using someone else as an example, right?

Exhibit A

Ok this is fun isn't it? Adding -er to a word that actually ends with an 'a'. Gila= Giler. Omg cool gila kannn. Feels like the coolest person ever when you write like that >.<

Example; Aku punyer kereter ader banyak giler roder. Hahahaha. When I look at what I wrote back then I always think of how ridiculous it sounded. Why? because I'm a Penangite and a Penangite don't speak or write with an -er at the back. Unless you went to boarding school elsewhere in Kajang and you need to converse in a KL accent to fit in. That is allowed. hihi

Exhibit B

'Spesel?' 'Skool?' Whatthefish man, whatthefish. hahaha. And 'mizz u guyz'? Wow that is super cool. My spelling teacher in kindergarten must've been so disappointed. But what to do, you were 14 and all you know is, that kinda language saves time and sounds cool, right?

Exhibit C

Ok no visual images for this but it broke my heart to see English written in a, ermm, how do you put this delicately, ermm, in a slightly broken way. hihi. Over la kan nak heartbroken sebab ni, but seriously. Say you were browsing through facebook statuses and you found this,

" ToDay shOpPing wiTh pRettY fRieNds. We watChiNg moVieS aNd eaTing tHe McD. My fEet veRy huRt becAusE wAlKiNg A LoT."

What harm would it bring to add a simple 'are' or to eliminate certain inappropriate '-ing' and 'the'. Huhu. And you know what makes it look weird too? The asymmetrical use of CaPiTaL letters. It'll be wayyyy better to update statuses in Malay instead, bahasa ibunda that we're all familiar of. Plus, it'll save you the embarassment of silly grammar mistakes and people's annoyance of the big and small alphabets.

Ok I know my English is way below perfect, or way below average, but, at least try to make it sound good, right? An error-free English sentence is just a Google-click away. Go google and even microsoft can help me correct my grammar.

Not trying to belittle those who write that way but just being frank that I don't enjoy reading them. And FYI, I've done all three exhibits and looking back, oh how ridiculous I was back then. haha

6 awkward moments in life.

2011-06-06T23:55:00.003+01:00

I don't know why but I just have to post on this. You may find it crappy because it is crappy.

There is no link between the living and the dead. HAHA direct google translation. I mean, tiada kaitan antara yang hidup atau yang telah meninggal dunia.

1) Singing a song you think you know and stopping midway because you shout out the wrong lyrics, with confidence. I repeat, with confidence.

You tried to cover up with some mimings but your friends or your family suddenly went silence. Then the awkward moment came. And then they burst into laughter and say BOOOO LIRIK PUN SALAH to your face, to your face maynnnn!

Awkward, right?

2) Meeting someone you're close with on Facebook in the REAL life.

On Facebook. or should I say, Fakebook, where everyone fake around pretending they're nice to each other. Ok that's not the point. The point is, you're constantly exchanging hi-s and comments to a certain someone on ~~Fakebook~~ Facebook, then you meet them in real life and both of you don't know what to say to each other. Most of us will opt for the stare-into-the-open-space technique, where you just stare at random people eating doughnuts to avoid having eye-contact to the Facebook friend you have. Then the awkward moment came. Awkward, right? Say awkward or I'll kill you now.

3) Asking someone for financial favor.

How much awkward can that be? Unless they are someone you're close with, it'll be super awkward. Like, err, can I borrow some $$$, I'm kinda broke right now. A simple request that requires a gazillion tonnes of guts to let it out. You say it, then the awkward moment of embarassment came. Awkward, right?

4) Asking someone for their financial debts to you.

The same as above. Unless they are someone you-can-say-they're-fat-and-ugly-to-their-face-and-they-don't-mind, it'll be super awkward. Anddd especially when you're broke too and you need your cash back, you'll be like, errr, remember the other day you owed me $$$, well, errr, I kinda need it back, you know. Hah. Too much errrr. Then the awkward moment came. Awkward, right? Say awkward or I'll kill you twice.

5) Telling someone a story you've already told them yesterday, or previously.

You tell someone a joke enthusiastically, hoping that they would laugh at it but then the only sound coming out was their awkward laughter. Why? Because you already told them the same thing yesterday. As you tell them your joke, you realized it's outdated and you stopped midway. And then the awkward moment came. Errr. Awkward, right?

6) Addressing yourself politely when speaking to someone (let say, Bruno Mars) but addressing yourself awkwardly when both of you are in public.

Say, when you speak privately to Bruno, both of you address yourself as saya-awak. And then you're in public and saya-awak seems too polite. And then you don't know how to address yourself as aku-kau seems too harsh. So you speak to Bruno and try hard to avoid addressing yourself. Awkward, right? Say awkward or I'll kill you thrice.

Well. the last one was my lilbro's definition of awkwardness.

Haha

THIS POST IS AWKWARD, RIGHT? RIGHT??!!!

Super duper awkward.

Why medic?

2011-05-26T09:47:00.003+01:00

As nerdy as the title may sound, I'm writing about this anyways. Just a flashback on how I decided on this course, for those of you still at the crossroads on where do you go next. Ceh poyo. bajet senior la kau, second year pn x lepas lg.

And this will be a long post. Warned you.

Talking to my post-SPM brother and found out that most of the straight-Aplus (yes, it's all about A-PLUS now, not just A's =.= ) in his school chose courses I've never heard about before. The top student in his school wanted to do a major in nanotechnology. Nanotech? I mean, I don't even know what that means when I was 17. And one of his friends opted for Islamic Banking. Wallawey. Kids these days certainly have a wider view on the options they have. Way to go, kiddos.

During my post-SPM days, after the results were out, MOSTLY, or maybe ALL straight-A's students I knew of, chose to read medicine. Back then, it's more like a trend, straight-A's are expected to choose medicine. In fact, I can say three-quarter of my classmates are currently in med schools. Some in India, some in Jordan and Egypt, some in Indonesia. You name it. Well there are some who took engineering, but I rarely heard of anyone opting for nanotech or islamic banking.

So jumping in the medical bandwagon, I choose medicine too. If you ask me, it's more of a go-with-the-flow decision. Medicine was a popular choice. Very popular back then. That if you score straight A1 and don't choose medicine, people will give you a why-oh-whyyy stare. Never wanted to be a doctor since I was a child. In fact, after SPM, I applied for engineering under Petronas, biotech under PNB, and asasi sains fizikal in UIA, and a few more I couldn't remember. Apply je lebih, satu apa pn x dapat. Well of course I applied for medicine under JPA, kalau tak cne plak bley amek medic now. And to be honest, I never expected to pass the interview and obtained a place in medicine, in Ireland to be exact. Alhamdulillah on that.

Medicine is not an easy course. Okay fine, I know that's a well-known fact. Duhh. Well nothing is easy in this world if you want it to be worth it in the future. Engineering pun susah. Actuarial science pun susah. If you're a genius in highschool, a top scorer who was awarded every possible award available, that won't help you get through med school. Even those who were worshipped for their intelligence in highschool can flunk in med school. No kidding. Brain alone does not suffice. Medicine requires you to sacrifice yourself in every possible way. If you're a game addict or a facebook junkie, this course will have the power to change that, even if it's not in your first two years in med school, it will definitely change you the moment you enter your clinical years, when you're the busiest human being alive. Ok actually I'm in no position to talk on how miserable your clinical years will be because I'm not into one yet. Baru second year nak takteh takteh. Org tanya psl symptoms they showed in House pn dok errr errrrr tak reti nak jawab =.=

So why medic? I'm sure the answer would be of no use now as most of the SPM leavers are already wayyy over their scholarship interviews. If you ask me "why medic" after my SPM results were out, I would say, I don't know. Haha. But if you ask me now, why medic, I can probably tell you why, even if not as clearly as those who wanted to do medicine since childhood. Medic is awesomeee, seriously. Because you actually learned about your own body. Something you can relate to in your everyday life. Few years back, my lovely cousin I was close with, was diagnosed with a kidney failure, a symptom of SLE. (ok now go google what does SLE mean) And in my second medical year, SLE was in one of our modules. All of a sudden, all of the symptoms I saw in my cousin explained themselves as I learned. Why did she have to go for hemodialysis every week, why did the medication she took make her face looked puffy, why did my aunt keep telling me to be an SLE specialist. It's as if you're learning out of curiosity and the urge of discovering, not learning out of obligation. And that's what I liked the most about the course.

And especially when you watched movies or TV shows, say House or Grey's Anat, you're actually watching it from another view. A real medical view. Cewahh.

Though it's a tough course, looking at it from another point of view, I'm glad I chose medicine, knowing that I've met awesome people along the way. Prep course doing IB in KMB, getting to know friends I loved and who actually matters the most now, experience living abroad, travelling all over europe, patient visits meeting the elderly, hospital visits chatting with stroke patients, in every single thing we had the chance to do, they're definitely something I wouldn't want to forget in years ahead.

For now, that's it. Will write again soon. Oh btw, I'm posting from my living room! woohoo :D

the last few days

2011-05-20T02:15:00.007+01:00

The last few days as a second year student in dublin. Alhamdulillah. Whether I'll make it to third year this september or not, let's just leave that for me to worry later.

My days before the journey back to home sweet home were fun! Spent time at the Cliff Summit and watched a pair of seals at the port at Howth. Went to Southampton to visit a few friends, then back to Dublin and received a visit from His Royal Cuteness Adam Nasri! Nana n Naim were awesome enough to bring Adam over to our house since we haven't got the chance to visit Adam. Well basically the last few days were full with hang-outs and meeting as many people as I possibly could. Oh, and shopping too. Can't write much, so I'll feed you with pictures instead :)

cliff cantik. nangis skrg

Uni of Southampton. Tuan rumah ujung kiri. tuan rumah lg satu malu2 kucin. haha

adam dtg! muka aunty ain mcm nk makan adam. haha.pic from nisha's aifon

daddy adam kena buli haha >.<

mummy Adam :D

adam didn't fuss around as much as little babies normally do.ke sbb aunty2 hot. ahaks.

cool la adam

adam nasri comel n aunty slekeh

went shopping again with pika n yan

probably the last hangout before we meet again in msia :p

meet skechers and brogues. bau kedai weehooo :p

Well, sometimes even if your exams results allow you to proceed to your third medical year, who knows what'll happen over the summer. Who knows if I don't live to see my friends back this september. Oh sedih plak. Ajal maut pertemuan perpisahan it's all up to Him indeed. So yeah, if I don't get to see you guys back in September, know that my prayers are with you guys always.

My next update will probably be from the living room eating mama's nasi daging. haha. Doakan! :)

What I've been up to

2011-05-13T22:35:00.006+01:00

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Stress's over!

Well actually this was written a few days ago. baru nk publish. dasar pemalas. haha

I finished my final paper two days later than most of those in my batch. and why is that? it's because of my beloved elective subject I chose, FOOD SCIENCE, which was held two days after my friends seized their freedom. why food science? because I love food, so what? haha

So to confess my love for food science, here's what we did after exams, of course, it's all about FOOD.

Went to Yamamori, a japanese restaurant with affordable prices. And by affordable, I mean affordable if you ordered only one plate of noodles without drinks, because they provided green tea for free, so you can spend less than 10 euro per meal.amboi brg free suka je eh.haha.not too bad.

time ni dua mokcik ni dah habes exam,

yg bajet superman tgh tu ada paper foodscience lg padan muka

tapi, they miss me too much to not let me join them for the post-exam lunch. I was forced to go too.*hihi padahal rela hati nk ikut jugakk celebrate, x sdar diri ada paper foodsci

the meal; seafood yaki soba. generously served with fat juicy prawns and yummy squids.

sedap x tipu, wlaupn mee goreng mamak ain lg mengancam jiwe

ni menyesal ajak budak dua org ni, dtg yamamori study vascular bio.

kite bako kite bako je dua org ni. haha =.=

minah rempit

sekuk french cinonet, seketui 1.50euro = 6 ringgit.

macaroon is indeed one of the world's ridiculously priced food, according to moi =.=

So far, there's been a lot of food welcoming me after exams, as expected. Still, the weighing scale won't go above 40. pathetic much? yes indeed miss-smartypants-with-lotsa-worms-in-her-stomach-that-make-her-loss-her-essential-nutrients. ok tipu je. bye!

Time is running out.

2011-05-11T20:57:00.000+01:00

Somebody please smack me hard in the head, with a hammer, a brick or whatever thing capable of cracking your skull wide open.

knpe byk gle nk bce

knpe susah gle nk ingat ble bce

knpe ble exam kua bnde yg x bce

haha. salah sapa, salah diri sndiri la gemok gedempol.

one more to go. just....one.....more........

imma ace this final one! inshaAllah

pray for me, pray for my friends who're going to travel all around europe, pray for our health, pray that we get back to Malaysia safe and sound in ** days. ahaks

bye everibadeh. see you when i see you, or not! hah

The devil and the duck.

2011-05-09T17:18:00.004+01:00

Sifted through the emails and I found one email sent by my ex-english teacher in highschool.

A simple story, but good enough for a daily reminder :)

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm.

He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.

Slingshot = lastik, as we would normally call it. -from google

He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit the target.

Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner.

As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck.

Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it.

He was shocked and grieved!

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile;

only to see his sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch the next day Grandma said, 'Sally, let's wash the dishes'

But Sally said, 'Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen..'

Then she whispered to him, "Remember the duck?'

So Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing

and Grandma said, 'I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make supper.'

Sally just smiled and said, 'well that's all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help?

She whispered again, 'Remember the duck?'

So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's;

he finally couldn't stand it any longer.

He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.

Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said,

'Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you.'

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done, that makes you feel really really bad and useless the whole life, the devil will keep throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.), making you feel all the more guilty and in denial of everything around you.

Nevertheless, the one thing you need to keep in mind is that:
Allah was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing.

He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He's just wondering how long you will let the devils make a slave of you.

The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness; He not only forgives you, but He forgets.

The thing is, we are the ones who rarely ask for forgiveness.

p/s; 2 more papers to go! And then rock n roll baybeyhh!

Songbird for Mama

2011-05-08T12:40:00.006+01:00

Ika ingat tau mama, mana lupa :)

Thank you Allah for mama.

Happy Momsy's Day to all awesome mama-s in the world!

Aww aww can't wait to celebrate the day myself one day.

nanti anak I panggil I ~~hotmamma~~ ibu tau. hihiikhikhikkkk *gedik*

My Subuh.

2011-05-07T22:28:00.003+01:00

The all-time dilemma of not studying in your home country, is the changing seasons, not to mention the sunrise and sunset times, which of course, lead to the consistent change in prayer times. And, of course, as we're now approaching summer, subuh begins as early as 3.46am. Bammm. My big time failure.

Back home, even if you didn't know the exact prayer time, agak-agak pukul 6.15am, dah subuh. agak-agak pukul 1.45pm, dah boleh zohor. agak-agak pukul 5pm tu dah boleh solat asar. agak-agak 7.45pm dah maghrib, and 8.45 dah boleh isya'. Simple. The only matter is for us to solat awal waktu :)

I called it a dilemma, because even if I slept early, say 11pm, and set the alarm at 3.30am, I will always end up waking up at 6am, which in my case, is already the end of subuh. Dah cerah youuu, dah boleh dhuha. And if I chose to stay up till subuh, it wouldn't be a healthy thing to do every single day right?

Tak caye? ce tengok ni ce tengok. *ape comel sgt dok ce-ce? cepuk kang*

Dublin's prayer times.

Ok so that's the history of presenting complaints. haha

It's a very uncomfortable feeling having your subuh late every day. And I know I shouldda try harder, because subuh starts your day off differently, brighter and pembuka pintu rezeki. It's a struggle to get yourself out of the warm comfy bed every morning but it's worth the effort, for He always count. Masa kecik2 org ckp syaitonnirrajim selimut kulit vavi kalau tak bangun subuh. Which means I slept with that every single day I abandoned an early subuh. Cissss syaiton.

“The most burdensome prayers for the hypocrites are ishaa and fajr, but if they only knew what they contain, they would come even if they had to crawl.” [Rawahu Ahmad]

Nobody wants to be a hypocrite in His eyes aite.

Diriwayatkan daripada Muslim daripada Uthman bin Affan berkata, Rasulullah S.A.W. bersabda yang maksudnya:"Barang siapa yang solat Isyak berjemaah maka seolah-olah dia telah solat setengah malam, barang siapa solat Subuh berjemaah, maka seolah-olah dia telah melaksanakan solat malam satu malam penuh." (Hadis riwayat Muslim)

And the thing we always missed, is solat subuh berjemaah. Of course it's hard because the moment you wake up and realize that subuh almost ends, the one thing that popped up is oi tak subuh lagiii, haa kelam kabut buang kulit vavi syaiton and pray hastily on your own. That's what I always do. And knowing that subuh berjemaah is Rasulullah's sunnah, lagi down sbb x buat slalu.

Ok panjang bebel. Cakap lebat nampak, esok subuh kau pukul brapa?

sobs. kalau boleh taknak subuh dinosaur lagi. Jom korg, exam2 jugak, subuh mau ingat.

Definitely reminding myself too. *facepalm*

Types of cerebral palsy.

2011-05-06T01:05:00.005+01:00

I went totally blank at that question today. The answer to that only resides in one simple slide from the lecture notes and guess what, I didn't even have a glance at that slide.

Maybe that's why the saying goes, 80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn’t read. Pffttt >.<

Whatever it is, I have no time to grieve over what's past. 3 more papers to go, so I'll just be happy at practically everything.

Fleetwood Mac, you're my inspiration today.

Go on your way.

p/s: kesian org yg search pasal cerebral palsy pastu end up kt post ni pastu skit pun xde pasal cerebral palsy. haha! booyah!

Drown in drugs.

2011-05-03T20:22:00.003+01:00

Ok the pre-exam-feverish-blog-updates syndrome is definitely on me. Oh for a reason God knows what I myself have no idea why does blogging seem so friggin tempting during exams >.<

I guess blogging is more enjoyable than drowning yourself in drugs and diseases, no?

My three awesome makciks are all busy with the unbearable amount of drugs we have to memorize, I swear we'll all get high on drugs by midnight =.=

Well actually I was browsing through my links when I visited abah's site, I know abah rarely update his blog, probably once in a blue moon, but I love reading abah's every posts, over and over again without ever getting bored. One particular post that never fail to make me smile is this.

"After briefing by KMB on what is IB all about..standard la...High level la..bla bla...felt asleep few times.. we had lunch at canteen. The food were not so bad..especially ikan keli goreng sambal. Everybody belasah Ikan Keli except me..I don't eat ikan sungai...but salted ikan sungai I belasah...

Finally at 1.30 pm, we left KMB with half of our heart left behind... So long LoLo..study hard and chase your dream as high as you can...You are what you want to be." -5 July 2007

Felt asleep few times? abah comel. Maybe that's where I get my sleepyhead genes from. hehe

Mama janji nak blanja tomyam kong the moment I reached Penang. yay! :)

I'm blessed with the sweetest parents :) Miss them both.

Ok now I'm back to drugs and diseases. So long and farewell soldiers! Roger and out and off I go~

kroh krohh krohhh zZzZzZz

A short one.

2011-05-02T23:33:00.002+01:00

Tadi nak tdo, bukak skype sebenta.

me: we're gonna nail it tomorrow!

dia: ill bring the largest hammer i have

haha. good one! XD

u send me off to sleep smiling. jom semangat untuk esok! :)

Our 1st paper, Principles of Infections commencing in less than 10 hours from now.

Never freaked out as much as I had this time. But then I realized a panic attack won't get you anywhere. Mr. brain please be nice this time, no memory loss please pretty please with cherries on top?

Ya Allah, permudahkan urusan kami. Amin ya rabbal alamin.

To anyone reading this, do pray for me and my friends ok ;)

*or is it "my friends and I"? whatever silly grammar*

Off to dreamland. Goodnight peeps!

Yang meminta.

2011-05-01T13:12:00.005+01:00

Exams. The time when people pray the most. When I ask from You the most.

I don't know about you, but as for me, this is the time when I promised everything if God gave me this and this. Promised to pray on time, promised to be a good girl, promised to study harder, yadayadayada, if God gave good results. And sadly, the cycle repeated almost every time the exams approach.

Ashamed, yes. A hypocrite, yes.

Yet with the humblest hands we raised, praying for His help whenever we're in need. Only, when in need. Malunya. sobs

With the ridiculous amount of readings we have to do before the finals, there's no way we can make it if Allah says no. Even if we struggled and memorized every word in Robbin's pathology book, if He wants us to forget every thing the moment we read the questions, then be it. To whom do we turn to whenever in hardship, Him indeed, who was always there for those who asked.

sape rase video ni zaaaas angkat tangan mcm sy.huhu

"Allahumma la sahla illa ma ja'altahu sahla, wa anta taj-a'lul hazna idha shi'ta sahla"

Ya Allah, there is no ease except what You make easy, and if You wish, You make the difficult easy.

Doakan sy n kwn2 bakal exam lusa. Moga Allah permudahkan semua.

Yang meminta lagi. huhu

With all the sins and flaws, I feel ashamed to ask You again for more.

A bad servant I am to You :(

Tersenyum.

2011-04-30T16:24:00.002+01:00

Was in the midst of understanding the medical model of disability, decided to take a break surfing my laptop when somebody made me smile.

Who? Budak gedik ni, my favourite UP the mafia :)

Funny how people who're not physically near you can make you smile from afar. Funny how time separates people but time is the one that makes us miss each other.

Haven't met her for almost 5 years, but have always keep myself updated with the awesome peeps I met in SMAPK *kantoi stalk jugak.hee*

Budak dorm F03. Rumah hijau. Seblah katil. Slalu bajet rock padahal ayu je. Kdg2 teman komplot sorok hena. Tumpang makan mknn yg mak die or abg2 kakak2 die bawak time weekend. Denga die gosip pasal batch die. Pergh. Rasa mcm semalam baru form 5, up form 4.

Pasni kalau nampak org view dr dublin lg, kantoi la sape stalker tu ek. ahaks

Take care kiddo! jgn demam2 slalu sgt, jgn jerit2 jugak, nanti x anggun jelita dah ;)

Watched you.

2011-04-29T15:27:00.003+01:00

I watched you

As you laughed and smiled

At every hi and hello

At every silly jokes

That makes your day glows

I watched you

As you walked and ran

Moving on so fast

That left me to wonder how

Leaving me to linger on the past

I watched you

As you grow and mature

With confidence so pure

That left me in awe

I guess it's time

For the watching to stop

As I have to figure out

Who am I, without your influence, no more.

3:52pm

Under the blue sky :)

Random acts of happiness.

2011-04-28T17:52:00.006+01:00

Today I leisured by the lake for a break, eating chips while watching couples sunbathing and girls giggling under the bright sun.

And then as I walked back to the health science building, I saw this little red thing on every bike along the way.

And then I went to my bike and saw this. A free bike seat cover put up by complete anonymous strangers, on every bike in UCD. haha. comel gila.

The sweet part is what's written on top of it. "Random acts of happiness, surprise someone with an ice cream today" , and I can't help but to smile alone at this :)

I guess it's been a while since I made others happy randomly. Told ya, it's the little insignificant thing that makes us smile, even just a simple random act of happiness, like a free bike seat cover everyone received today :)

An ice-cream treat, anyone?

2011-04-28T08:47:00.002+01:00

I've always thought blocking people in the virtual world is kinda silly.

As if you can avoid the hurt in real life.

Just saying.

The little things.

2011-04-27T17:45:00.004+01:00

Lately time has been flying real fast that I can hardly catch up, stop and think. People say overthinking leads to negative thoughts, but the thing is, I hardly think nowadays.

Maybe it's time to go with the flow and enjoy the ride. For if we were too focused on reaching the end, sometimes the journey seems hard and ugly.

Funny how some tiny little things can make us extremely sad.

Yet there still exist the little things we often took for granted, the little things that make us happy.

japanese date. haip!

eskrim.

These are the little things that make me smile, if not for the whole day, probably just for a while, it doesn't matter to me as long as the little things are still there.

I've been worrying too much, not thinking, but worrying. Not the exams. I'm not scared of exams anymore, because sooner or later it will pass, and then here comes another, and then comes another. So it's an endless cycle of exams for the path I chose.

Anyways, I did worry too much, didn't I? Pointless worries on things that are uncertain. Things that are not within my control. Then why worry? Why waste time worrying when you can be happy with all the little things?

I'll sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. Though it's a struggle to put the worries aside, I'll try, and be happy instead, because for all that I know, I'm done worrying :)

The sudden library madness.

2011-04-25T15:30:00.004+01:00

When the exams approach, here comes the library madness too. Today was supposed to be a public holiday but because UCD's already in it's study week, the main library opens at 11am. I arrived around 10.50am and a whole bunch of people are already lining up in front of the library. Rasa mcm tgh beratur nk tggu grand opening ZARA ke subway halal ke ape.

(=.=)

Anyways, I was lining up when I saw James Franco yg blakon jadi Harry Osborn bestfriend spiderman dalam Spiderman tu. Seriously. Doppelganger betul. I looked twice or thrice or countless times in disbelief. Ececeh. Ok of course it's not James Franco, but they seriously

look alike, 99% alike. Or is it because my sight is affected by my abnormal sleeping schedule? Sheeeshhh. Obviously it wasn't franco how in the world would spiderman's bestfriend end up in UCD's library anyway (=.=)

Always observed people using this emoticon (me included) --> (=.=)

I always wonder how do you do that face in real life?

Posting some crappy stuff because I'm sleepy and about to doze off anytime now but it's the library so it'll be embarassing to sleep with my mouth open beside the fake James Franco.

post gamba dlm library bg feeling2 dlm library utk org2 yg snggup baca post ni hahah oh btw yg tu bukan fake james franco yg dimaksudkan (=.=)

Ok sudah segar kembali. Thank you blog! :)

bye.

p/s: happy 21st birthday gendot! (konfem la x baca blog ni so x mungkin prasan. smoga makin gemok. haha)

Escapism.

2011-04-24T11:50:00.005+01:00

Finding a clever way of avoiding the books for now; blogging! :)

So I'm gonna randomly blabber on things that happened to cross my mind right now. Well I know this sounds boring and outdated (countdowns are boring), but the finals will start on 3rd May, which is exactly 9 DAYS from now. Every time the exams approach there will always, I tell you, ALWAYS, have a post that sounds like this on this crappy blog. Countdown hari exam, banyak x study lagi, complaint penat blablablabla.

haha. bear with me, as I'll act this way whenever the exam comes.

Now tell me, how is it possible to finish up everything within that 9 days? I have 5 subjects to cover (elective will be stepdaughter-ed for now) and each subjects amounted to a whole pain-in-the-arse countless reading and revising lectures plus past-year papers that seem to never end *pengsan*

And each time that I proceed to the next lecture I'll already forget what I've read previously by then. Memang best sgt, sukew sgt2 kalau baca terus lupa, mmg ohsem la. Memorizing skills are definitely going down the hill =.=

Nevertheless, surrounded by awesome people in the house I begin to love, abso-bloomin-lutely helps with the pressure. We have fooood all the time, we have a borrowed piano, we have a trampoline in the backyard, we have each other's rooms whenever we need the push to study. Most importantly, we are awesome people and awesome people rock! :p

Looked through the old pictures and found one that has everyone in it! Back then nobody expected we'll end up in the same house :) Awesome people belong together kotttt :p

my birthday last year :')

haha pointless picture. just to show the view from my window. harini weather gloomy sket, just like my studying mood =.=

ok nk pegi tenung *bukan baca* buku lama2 sambil main facebook.bye

21. is that old enough?

2011-04-18T18:05:00.003+01:00

We're old enough to make a choice

yet still young in many ways

Too young to pack our bags and go

too old to want to stay.

Young enough for fun and games

Too old for carefree lives

Young enough for hopes and dreams

Yet for reality we strive.

Old enough for heartfelt pain

too young to find the cure.

Too old for childish ways of past

too young to be mature.

Old enough to fall in love

and give our hearts away.

But still too young to understand

just why we feel this way.

In case you're wondering, yes, I wrote this poem. HAHA mestila tipu.

This is taken from a snippet of poem "Somewhere in the middle" (from the Chicken Soup series kalau tak silap), once introduced to us by my English teacher back in college. Back then, I don't bother understanding. Now when this hit me again, I realized, it described me the most.

I thought at 21 a normal human being would be able to make decisions on behalf of him/herself. Apparently, I failed miserably, still. On and on again.

Feels like having an alarm signal or something from above so that You can tell me which is the right choice for me and which is not for me to follow, that way, I'd be saved from making a whole bunch of silly mistakes again and again, and, yes, again. But I guess if life's that way, humans will end up like robots, not challenged and tested by anything.

And also, I thought at 20-ish years old, people would already have control over what he/she chooses, and not questioned like a child on "why did you do it this way", "why didn't you do this","why did you say this and this", etc. Apparently, it doesn't work that way and I wonder why..

World gets weirder day by day. And my unproductive brain is having trouble assimilating with everything that's going on. sigh

on another note, ohmygoodness it's less than five weeks from now! can't wait! :D *NOT REFERRING TO THE FINALS OK HARAP MAKLUM*

just some random thoughts. don't question me, please.

That one last thing.

2011-04-14T23:16:00.003+01:00

Ever come across a point when that one last thing could mean a lot?

That one last word, can make you everlasting memories

That one last step, can make you reach your campus

That one last penny, can make a poor kid smile

That one last read, can make your exam marks satisfying

That one last correction, can hugely change your grades

That one last anger, can scar you forever

That one last smile, can make a sad day seemed bright

That one last struggle, can calm you after answering the finals

That one last effort, puts you under His redha

That one last thing, no matter how small, could mean a lot to you, or others, in many ways.

Sadly, that one last thing, is the thing we always missed. I'm definitely trying not to miss out on that one last thing. That one last thing might not matter to you the most, but it does matter to me when finals are less than 3 weeks away. Ok perlu ke ulang statement less than 3 weeks away tu haha. That one last effort, jom kejar!

You didn't know

2011-04-12T21:35:00.002+01:00

You saw her walking

You saw her running

You didn't know

Yesterday she struggled crawling

You saw her talking

You saw her chatting

You didn't know

She was numb from head to toe

You saw her laugh

You saw her smiles

You didn't know

At night she cries

You always think

That you saw everything

And with that everything

You assume knowing

Don't bother asking

If you never care

For all that she knows,

Only curiosity drives you there

The next time you saw

A girl who's in pain

Think again

Are you asking, out of care or out of curiosity?

Because they say curiosity kills the cat.

eka, 10:30pm

accompanied by the loyal stars :)

Beeyouteefull dayy.

2011-04-10T20:58:00.007+01:00

Was forced to go out for an evening jog by two mokciks. I was reluctant at first, thinking of the upcoming presentation and my second midterm for foodscience. And then I looked at the window and saw how beautiful the weather is, so apa lg, chalo bette!

Well actually, it's jogging plus photo-shooting ;)

rumah kami :)

where we're headed to; deer park! it was a sunday so there were lotsa families picnicking and strolling around the park.

ceh ceh nk tnjuk konon terer la amek gamba taraf dslr =.=

family day. budak naik basikal ketot tu comel gila.

ok jogging utk ini? jogged on the way to the park dah hilang 3kg, on the way home dah naik balik 3kg. hahaha. tgk pika tamak gila makan 2 aiskrim, esok ko kne jog 10round nk compensate balik :p

oh these pretty pink flowers made me fall in love everytime I passed through it otw to class :')

penaja camera: yan's olympus epl-1 :)

No more fooling around. I guess it's time to say that's it. Finals are less than a month away and I have to teach myself that there're no room for silly distractions. Thank You for a colourful evening! :)

Apa ada pada nama

2011-04-09T11:31:00.004+01:00

Having lived in Dublin, now and then we're all bombarded with issues on names. Probably the same issue all Malaysian students overseas are facing all over the world.. I've been observing people posting and writing on this issue, and have been thinking about this for quite some time. Since people can be very judgemental at times, I put this thought aside for quite a while. Nevertheless, apa ada pada nama, if in the end all everyone wanted is to do good.

Apa ada pada nama

Jika dengan nama kita mengata

Dengan nama hati kita terasa

Bila akhirnya kebaikannya tiada

Apa ada pada nama

Jika bekerja hanya utk nama

Tanpa tahu kita mengejar apa

Mengajak kepada apa kalau bukan kepada Dia

Apa ada pada nama

Kalau dgn nama kita berbangga

Dengan nama kita terleka

Sehingga yg dulu kawan pun boleh lupa

Apa ada pada nama

Kalau dgn banyaknya nama

Kita menjaja nama disini sana

Saling menjeling kepada yg bukan kita

Kalau ini yg jadi, seriously, apa ada pada nama?

Mungkin benar nama itu perlu

Mungkin dgn byk nama akan mengajar kita bersatu

Mana mungkin wujud 1 nama dgn kepala beribu

Lain kepala lain cara menyeru

Jadi mungkin jugak nama itu perlu

Kan bagus kalau seantero dunia hanya ada 1 nama. Nama yg niatnya mengajak kpd yg baik. But of course, easier said than done. Different people have different ways of doing good. As long as everyone's heading to the same aim, without belittling others who're doing the exact same thing, no harm is done that way. Of course everyone has flaws, nobody's perfect, so don't judge people just by emphasizing on their flaws. That's bias.

Yg faham tu, faham la post ni. Yg x faham buat2 faham jugak.Penat oh. bye

Traffic.

2011-04-08T21:33:00.004+01:00

I've been wanting to post this up for quite some time. See the live traffic feed normally found on most blogs? Know what's that for? That is to tell you who come and go on your site and what leads them here. Mine has often been my all-time source of amusement. It's fun to watch people who searched on other stuff but unfortunately ended up on this crappy blog.

So here's how the traffic feed looked like.

There're some logic ones like this one. "zulaikhazainol" and "dengki". Probably because of my previous post on hasad dengki. Tapi "Dublin arrived from google.ie on 'she has a blog' by searching for zulaikhazainol "?? BY SEARCHING FOR? hoyeah ada org search I tau. hot stuff x hot stuff x =.=" ok menggelabah di situ. No the point is, rasa terharu ada org sudi bce blog ni. sobs

And then comes the funny ones like this one. "soon to be a good doctor likes abah" ???Maybe he/she wanted to be a doctor like his/her dad but I have no idea how he/she ended up here. haha. grammar pun comel je salah. haha eh buruk prangai tego grammar org mcm kau perfect sgt ish. or maybe he/she meant bakal doktor yg baik suka abah? =.="

And then there're a few serious ones who searched on serious stuff like this, "hadis hak seorang muslim keatas muslim yang lain". I assumed my previous post where I put in a hadith on that actually led this person to my blog. Honestly, I feel bad for him/her. Mesti niat nk cari hadith from a good article tp tepaksa terbukak blog crappy ni, mintak maapp=.=

Okay this one is epic! I have no idea how someone who searched for "hady mirza is a nurse" ended up here. Since when have I ever posted things about hady mirza being a nurse? Seriously, a NURSE? Sejak ble hady mirza jadi nurse. Hadoi. And then there's a person searching for "facebook dalila kolej mara banting". kalau zulaikha kolej mara banting ok gak. xtau cne bley lead to blog ni, tp kalau nk mintak kirim salam kt dalila, boley sajeee :p

So yeah, I don't know in what way would this post matter to you. I just find it entertaining. And to those who happened to read this blog and couldn't find what you're searching for, thousand apologies for that.

If you have a blog, have a peek at your traffic feed and you'll never know who in the world actually finds you in the silliest way ;)

Hapdet.

2011-04-07T17:03:00.005+01:00

For those of you who frequented this blog, you'll notice that I've just recently opened it back for the public. ceh bajet artis. Anyways, you might be sick of me acting all emo-ish suddenly closing the blog, suddenly deactivating facebook, suddenly activating facebook, suddenly reopening the blog, suddenly having a secret tumblr yadayadayada, but what to do, that's part of a 20-year-old freak growing up. I repeat, freak. Because no other 20-year-olds acted this way.

So, why do I suddenly feel like writing again? Don't ask because I have no answers for that. Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies. Well partly because I've always love writing. You know, people who find it hard to express things in words will often say things better when they write, and I'm part of that group.

Ok amende la minah ni bebel panjang. The point is, see the title of the post? It's HAPDET. So just so you know, I've moved to my new house last week. Quite a hassle. With lotsa phone calls made to arrange for our moving out, call landlord yg mcm ape halau org kelua awal, call pakcik van, call elektrik, call bank to change address, call internet blablabla. It was exhausting, for everyone. Luckily our new house has a trampoline *tetibe*

And with a gazillion stuffs to be packed, it wasn't something you enjoy doing everyday.

our room. before and after kemas. sobs

So, my new place was nice. I'm falling in love with my room already, and I don't miss my previous crib. And about this whole move-out thing, for those of you who knew, don't judge. For those of you who think you knew, don't judge. For those of you who heard stories from others and suddenly think you knew, don't judge too. Because assumptions kill.

Have a nice day everyone! Nak sambung hidup sbg budak medik jap. hahah

My birthday girl.

2011-04-06T13:52:00.006+01:00

Well, it's 7th of April and I know you'll throw me THE face if I purposely forgot. haha

Mana boleh lupa birthday ira :) Regardless of how many times you bug me annoyingly on that fancy roxy purse, I'm still obliged to wish you a happy birthday right? :p

I remembered when I was in Standard One, back in 1997, Abah came and picked me up from school and I was sooo over the moon in the car to get back home and hug my first baby sister. I remembered Abah asking me, "baby ni kakak nk bagi nama apa?" (back then I was just 'kakak', instead of kaklong).Excited gila, trus rasa cm kakak sulung yg betggjawab ahaks :') Dulu there was a clash on what should we name you. Cewah gaya mcm nak bgi nama kt anak patung ja. haha. Mama wanted to name you Qamarina, and another choice was Zahirah. I voted for Zahirah, because I think it's cool if everybody have the same initials, Z. Zulaikha, Zharrieq, Zahirah, and of course 3 years later there's Zalia ;) And so everyone agreed on Zahirah, the bright one.

Happy 14th birthday ira :)

There're a few things I wish to tell you now, I mean, things I wish I'd know when I was 14 since I don't have a big sister for me to look up to. Don't worry if you have pimples, pimples are cute, and they'll come and go but they won't stay until you're 70 years old =.= Don't worry if you had a crush on some boy, because they'll be gone after SPM and you'll know by then that true love doesn't exist at highschool. Don't worry if some boy says he likes you soooo much, because at 14, boys normally don't mean what they say. Don't worry if sometimes friends leave you, because as you grow up you'll know who stays by your side and who doesn't. Don't worry if you feel stressed out with homeworks and tuitions, because it's just a tiny part of your whole life and you'll get through without you even realising it. Don't worry if a group of girls stare or jeling at you awkwardly, because they're just jealous that they're not as cute as you. Don't worry too much about all the little things in life because God put you through them to turn you into someone one day :)

2007- ignore the fat girl on the right. (see, dulu siap boleh riba lagi)

2010- now xbley nk riba dah dlm kete =.=

I know I'm not a good enough person and sometimes a bad sister, but I love you unconditionally. fewwit romantik x. Stay as you are, as smart, as pretty, as gorgeous as ever. May you grow up to be a wonderful young lady, a good daughter to mama n abah, who do not stumble even when faced with life's toughest decision. Don't brag, don't hate, don't judge people easily.

Happy 14th birthday! :)

Someone who misses you playing the piano,

kaklong.

The story of a tree.

2011-04-05T19:25:00.000+01:00

There once lived a farmer

A farmer so young and tall

He planted trees and flowers

Through winter and through fall

This farmer has an apple tree

Which he watered everyday

He gave all nutritions the tree needs

To survive in every way

The apple tree now grows healthy and tall

And it thought the farmer loves it the most

It grows with joy and pride among all

Thinking it will forever be loved

One day the farmer, with all his might

Bring home a pretty orange tree

He took care of it, day and night

And up grew the orange tree, tall and bright

The farmer now loved oranges

And he forgot the apples

The apple tree grew ugly and useless

And sat there alone in the darkness

No matter how hard the apple tree tried

To find the water it needs, it didn't want to die

In the hope of being the favourite in the farmer's eye

The apple tree tried and tried.

The apple tree now grew old and tired

The farmer forgot that it existed

He didn't remember how apples taste like

For as humans, sometimes they change their hearts.

As always, a crappy poem from the crappy me.

eka, 1.30am

accompanied by the stars :')