Why medic?

(I noticed an annual increase in people reading this post especially around this time of the year, possibly from you SPM leavers. This post is written years ago, I am now in my final year as a medical student, so it might not be of relevance now. But just a quick advice, when picking your future course, don't dwell too much on what others say, follow your passion. If you have none at the moment, don't worry too, as things will fall into places sooner than you think, and passion will come after. It can also change even after you've decided, it's Allah's will. Doa banyak2 and istikharah. Don't be sad if you didn't get into Medicine, life is so much more than that, and there are many other medical branches to explore (if you're still interested in Medicine). Good luck!)

As nerdy as the title may sound, I'm writing about this anyways. Just a flashback on how I decided on this course, for those of you still at the crossroads on where do you go next. Ceh poyo. bajet senior la kau, second year pn x lepas lg.

And this will be a long post. Warned you.

Talking to my post-SPM brother and found out that most of the straight-Aplus (yes, it's all about A-PLUS now, not just A's =.= ) in his school chose courses I've never heard about before. The top student in his school wanted to do a major in nanotechnology. Nanotech? I mean, I don't even know what that means when I was 17. And one of his friends opted for Islamic Banking. Wallawey. Kids these days certainly have a wider view on the options they have. Way to go, kiddos.

During my post-SPM days, after the results were out, MOSTLY, or maybe ALL straight-A's students I knew of, chose to read medicine. Back then, it's more like a trend, straight-A's are expected to choose medicine. In fact, I can say three-quarter of my classmates are currently in med schools. Some in India, some in Jordan and Egypt, some in Indonesia. You name it. Well there are some who took engineering, but I rarely heard of anyone opting for nanotech or islamic banking.

So jumping in the medical bandwagon, I choose medicine too. If you ask me, it's more of a go-with-the-flow decision. Medicine was a popular choice. Very popular back then. That if you score straight A1 and don't choose medicine, people will give you a why-oh-whyyy stare. Never wanted to be a doctor since I was a child. In fact, after SPM, I applied for engineering under Petronas, biotech under PNB, and asasi sains fizikal in UIA, and a few more I couldn't remember. Apply je lebih, satu apa pn x dapat. Well of course I applied for medicine under JPA, kalau tak cne plak bley amek medic now. And to be honest, I never expected to pass the interview and obtained a place in medicine, in Ireland to be exact. Alhamdulillah on that.

Medicine is not an easy course. Okay fine, I know that's a well-known fact. Duhh. Well nothing is easy in this world if you want it to be worth it in the future. Engineering pun susah. Actuarial science pun susah. If you're a genius in highschool, a top scorer who was awarded every possible award available, that won't help you get through med school. Even those who were worshipped for their intelligence in highschool can flunk in med school. No kidding. Brain alone does not suffice. Medicine requires you to sacrifice yourself in every possible way. If you're a game addict or a facebook junkie, this course will have the power to change that, even if it's not in your first two years in med school, it will definitely change you the moment you enter your clinical years, when you're the busiest human being alive. Ok actually I'm in no position to talk on how miserable your clinical years will be because I'm not into one yet. Baru second year nak takteh takteh. Org tanya psl symptoms they showed in House pn dok errr errrrr tak reti nak jawab =.=

So why medic? I'm sure the answer would be of no use now as most of the SPM leavers are already wayyy over their scholarship interviews. If you ask me "why medic" after my SPM results were out, I would say, I don't know. Haha. But if you ask me now, why medic, I can probably tell you why, even if not as clearly as those who wanted to do medicine since childhood. Medic is awesomeee, seriously. Because you actually learned about your own body. Something you can relate to in your everyday life. Few years back, my lovely cousin I was close with, was diagnosed with a kidney failure, a symptom of SLE. (ok now go google what does SLE mean) And in my second medical year, SLE was in one of our modules. All of a sudden, all of the symptoms I saw in my cousin explained themselves as I learned. Why did she have to go for hemodialysis every week, why did the medication she took make her face looked puffy, why did my aunt keep telling me to be an SLE specialist. It's as if you're learning out of curiosity and the urge of discovering, not learning out of obligation. And that's what I liked the most about the course.

And especially when you watched movies or TV shows, say House or Grey's Anat, you're actually watching it from another view. A real medical view. Cewahh.

Though it's a tough course, looking at it from another point of view, I'm glad I chose medicine, knowing that I've met awesome people along the way. Prep course doing IB in KMB, getting to know friends I loved and who actually matters the most now, experience living abroad, travelling all over europe, patient visits meeting the elderly, hospital visits chatting with stroke patients, in every single thing we had the chance to do, they're definitely something I wouldn't want to forget in years ahead.

For now, that's it. Will write again soon. Oh btw, I'm posting from my living room! woohoo :D

the last few days

The last few days as a second year student in dublin. Alhamdulillah. Whether I'll make it to third year this september or not, let's just leave that for me to worry later.

My days before the journey back to home sweet home were fun! Spent time at the Cliff Summit and watched a pair of seals at the port at Howth. Went to Southampton to visit a few friends, then back to Dublin and received a visit from His Royal Cuteness Adam Nasri! Nana n Naim were awesome enough to bring Adam over to our house since we haven't got the chance to visit Adam. Well basically the last few days were full with hang-outs and meeting as many people as I possibly could. Oh, and shopping too. Can't write much, so I'll feed you with pictures instead :)

cliff cantik. nangis skrg

Uni of Southampton. Tuan rumah ujung kiri. tuan rumah lg satu malu2 kucin. haha

adam dtg! muka aunty ain mcm nk makan adam. haha.pic from nisha's aifon

daddy adam kena buli haha >.<

mummy Adam :D

adam didn't fuss around as much as little babies normally do.ke sbb aunty2 hot. ahaks.

cool la adam

adam nasri comel n aunty slekeh

went shopping again with pika n yan

probably the last hangout before we meet again in msia :p

meet skechers and brogues. bau kedai weehooo :p

Well, sometimes even if your exams results allow you to proceed to your third medical year, who knows what'll happen over the summer. Who knows if I don't live to see my friends back this september. Oh sedih plak. Ajal maut pertemuan perpisahan it's all up to Him indeed. So yeah, if I don't get to see you guys back in September, know that my prayers are with you guys always.

My next update will probably be from the living room eating mama's nasi daging. haha. Doakan! :)

What I've been up to

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Stress's over!

Well actually this was written a few days ago. baru nk publish. dasar pemalas. haha

I finished my final paper two days later than most of those in my batch. and why is that? it's because of my beloved elective subject I chose, FOOD SCIENCE, which was held two days after my friends seized their freedom. why food science? because I love food, so what? haha

So to confess my love for food science, here's what we did after exams, of course, it's all about FOOD.

Went to Yamamori, a japanese restaurant with affordable prices. And by affordable, I mean affordable if you ordered only one plate of noodles without drinks, because they provided green tea for free, so you can spend less than 10 euro per meal.amboi brg free suka je eh.haha.not too bad.

time ni dua mokcik ni dah habes exam,

yg bajet superman tgh tu ada paper foodscience lg padan muka

tapi, they miss me too much to not let me join them for the post-exam lunch. I was forced to go too.*hihi padahal rela hati nk ikut jugakk celebrate, x sdar diri ada paper foodsci

the meal; seafood yaki soba. generously served with fat juicy prawns and yummy squids.

sedap x tipu, wlaupn mee goreng mamak ain lg mengancam jiwe

ni menyesal ajak budak dua org ni, dtg yamamori study vascular bio.

kite bako kite bako je dua org ni. haha =.=

minah rempit

sekuk french cinonet, seketui 1.50euro = 6 ringgit.

macaroon is indeed one of the world's ridiculously priced food, according to moi =.=

So far, there's been a lot of food welcoming me after exams, as expected. Still, the weighing scale won't go above 40. pathetic much? yes indeed miss-smartypants-with-lotsa-worms-in-her-stomach-that-make-her-loss-her-essential-nutrients. ok tipu je. bye!

Time is running out.

Somebody please smack me hard in the head, with a hammer, a brick or whatever thing capable of cracking your skull wide open.

knpe byk gle nk bce

knpe susah gle nk ingat ble bce

knpe ble exam kua bnde yg x bce

haha. salah sapa, salah diri sndiri la gemok gedempol.

one more to go. just....one.....more........

imma ace this final one! inshaAllah

pray for me, pray for my friends who're going to travel all around europe, pray for our health, pray that we get back to Malaysia safe and sound in ** days. ahaks

bye everibadeh. see you when i see you, or not! hah

The devil and the duck.

Sifted through the emails and I found one email sent by my ex-english teacher in highschool.

A simple story, but good enough for a daily reminder :)

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm.

He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.

Slingshot = lastik, as we would normally call it. -from google

He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit the target.

Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner.

As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck.

Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it.

He was shocked and grieved!

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile;

only to see his sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch the next day Grandma said, 'Sally, let's wash the dishes'

But Sally said, 'Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen..'

Then she whispered to him, "Remember the duck?'

So Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing

and Grandma said, 'I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make supper.'

Sally just smiled and said, 'well that's all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help?

She whispered again, 'Remember the duck?'

So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's;

he finally couldn't stand it any longer.

He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.

Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said,

'Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you.'

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done, that makes you feel really really bad and useless the whole life, the devil will keep throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.), making you feel all the more guilty and in denial of everything around you.

Nevertheless, the one thing you need to keep in mind is that:
Allah was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing.

He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He's just wondering how long you will let the devils make a slave of you.

The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness; He not only forgives you, but He forgets.

The thing is, we are the ones who rarely ask for forgiveness.

p/s; 2 more papers to go! And then rock n roll baybeyhh!

Songbird for Mama

Ika ingat tau mama, mana lupa :)

Thank you Allah for mama.

Happy Momsy's Day to all awesome mama-s in the world!

Aww aww can't wait to celebrate the day myself one day.

nanti anak I panggil I hotmamma ibu tau. hihiikhikhikkkk *gedik*

My Subuh.

The all-time dilemma of not studying in your home country, is the changing seasons, not to mention the sunrise and sunset times, which of course, lead to the consistent change in prayer times. And, of course, as we're now approaching summer, subuh begins as early as 3.46am. Bammm. My big time failure.

Back home, even if you didn't know the exact prayer time, agak-agak pukul 6.15am, dah subuh. agak-agak pukul 1.45pm, dah boleh zohor. agak-agak pukul 5pm tu dah boleh solat asar. agak-agak 7.45pm dah maghrib, and 8.45 dah boleh isya'. Simple. The only matter is for us to solat awal waktu :)

I called it a dilemma, because even if I slept early, say 11pm, and set the alarm at 3.30am, I will always end up waking up at 6am, which in my case, is already the end of subuh. Dah cerah youuu, dah boleh dhuha. And if I chose to stay up till subuh, it wouldn't be a healthy thing to do every single day right?

Tak caye? ce tengok ni ce tengok. *ape comel sgt dok ce-ce? cepuk kang*

Dublin's prayer times.

Ok so that's the history of presenting complaints. haha

It's a very uncomfortable feeling having your subuh late every day. And I know I shouldda try harder, because subuh starts your day off differently, brighter and pembuka pintu rezeki. It's a struggle to get yourself out of the warm comfy bed every morning but it's worth the effort, for He always count. Masa kecik2 org ckp syaitonnirrajim selimut kulit vavi kalau tak bangun subuh. Which means I slept with that every single day I abandoned an early subuh. Cissss syaiton.

“The most burdensome prayers for the hypocrites are ishaa and fajr, but if they only knew what they contain, they would come even if they had to crawl.” [Rawahu Ahmad]

Nobody wants to be a hypocrite in His eyes aite.

Diriwayatkan daripada Muslim daripada Uthman bin Affan berkata, Rasulullah S.A.W. bersabda yang maksudnya:"Barang siapa yang solat Isyak berjemaah maka seolah-olah dia telah solat setengah malam, barang siapa solat Subuh berjemaah, maka seolah-olah dia telah melaksanakan solat malam satu malam penuh." (Hadis riwayat Muslim)

And the thing we always missed, is solat subuh berjemaah. Of course it's hard because the moment you wake up and realize that subuh almost ends, the one thing that popped up is oi tak subuh lagiii, haa kelam kabut buang kulit vavi syaiton and pray hastily on your own. That's what I always do. And knowing that subuh berjemaah is Rasulullah's sunnah, lagi down sbb x buat slalu.

Ok panjang bebel. Cakap lebat nampak, esok subuh kau pukul brapa?

sobs. kalau boleh taknak subuh dinosaur lagi. Jom korg, exam2 jugak, subuh mau ingat.

Definitely reminding myself too. *facepalm*

Types of cerebral palsy.

I went totally blank at that question today. The answer to that only resides in one simple slide from the lecture notes and guess what, I didn't even have a glance at that slide.

Maybe that's why the saying goes, 80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn’t read. Pffttt >.<

Whatever it is, I have no time to grieve over what's past. 3 more papers to go, so I'll just be happy at practically everything.

Fleetwood Mac, you're my inspiration today.

Go on your way.

p/s: kesian org yg search pasal cerebral palsy pastu end up kt post ni pastu skit pun xde pasal cerebral palsy. haha! booyah!

Drown in drugs.

Ok the pre-exam-feverish-blog-updates syndrome is definitely on me. Oh for a reason God knows what I myself have no idea why does blogging seem so friggin tempting during exams >.<

I guess blogging is more enjoyable than drowning yourself in drugs and diseases, no?

My three awesome makciks are all busy with the unbearable amount of drugs we have to memorize, I swear we'll all get high on drugs by midnight =.=

Well actually I was browsing through my links when I visited abah's site, I know abah rarely update his blog, probably once in a blue moon, but I love reading abah's every posts, over and over again without ever getting bored. One particular post that never fail to make me smile is this.

"After briefing by KMB on what is IB all about..standard la...High level la..bla bla...felt asleep few times.. we had lunch at canteen. The food were not so bad..especially ikan keli goreng sambal. Everybody belasah Ikan Keli except me..I don't eat ikan sungai...but salted ikan sungai I belasah...

Finally at 1.30 pm, we left KMB with half of our heart left behind... So long LoLo..study hard and chase your dream as high as you can...You are what you want to be." -5 July 2007

Felt asleep few times? abah comel. Maybe that's where I get my sleepyhead genes from. hehe

Mama janji nak blanja tomyam kong the moment I reached Penang. yay! :)

I'm blessed with the sweetest parents :) Miss them both.

Ok now I'm back to drugs and diseases. So long and farewell soldiers! Roger and out and off I go~

kroh krohh krohhh zZzZzZz

A short one.

Tadi nak tdo, bukak skype sebenta.

me: we're gonna nail it tomorrow!

dia: ill bring the largest hammer i have

haha. good one! XD

u send me off to sleep smiling. jom semangat untuk esok! :)

Our 1st paper, Principles of Infections commencing in less than 10 hours from now.

Never freaked out as much as I had this time. But then I realized a panic attack won't get you anywhere. Mr. brain please be nice this time, no memory loss please pretty please with cherries on top?

Ya Allah, permudahkan urusan kami. Amin ya rabbal alamin.

To anyone reading this, do pray for me and my friends ok ;)

*or is it "my friends and I"? whatever silly grammar*

Off to dreamland. Goodnight peeps!

Yang meminta.

Exams. The time when people pray the most. When I ask from You the most.

I don't know about you, but as for me, this is the time when I promised everything if God gave me this and this. Promised to pray on time, promised to be a good girl, promised to study harder, yadayadayada, if God gave good results. And sadly, the cycle repeated almost every time the exams approach.

Ashamed, yes. A hypocrite, yes.

Yet with the humblest hands we raised, praying for His help whenever we're in need. Only, when in need. Malunya. sobs

With the ridiculous amount of readings we have to do before the finals, there's no way we can make it if Allah says no. Even if we struggled and memorized every word in Robbin's pathology book, if He wants us to forget every thing the moment we read the questions, then be it. To whom do we turn to whenever in hardship, Him indeed, who was always there for those who asked.

sape rase video ni zaaaas angkat tangan mcm sy.huhu

"Allahumma la sahla illa ma ja'altahu sahla, wa anta taj-a'lul hazna idha shi'ta sahla"

Ya Allah, there is no ease except what You make easy, and if You wish, You make the difficult easy.

Doakan sy n kwn2 bakal exam lusa. Moga Allah permudahkan semua.

Yang meminta lagi. huhu

With all the sins and flaws, I feel ashamed to ask You again for more.

A bad servant I am to You :(