Tersenyum.

Was in the midst of understanding the medical model of disability, decided to take a break surfing my laptop when somebody made me smile.

Who? Budak gedik ni, my favourite UP the mafia :)

Funny how people who're not physically near you can make you smile from afar. Funny how time separates people but time is the one that makes us miss each other.

Haven't met her for almost 5 years, but have always keep myself updated with the awesome peeps I met in SMAPK *kantoi stalk jugak.hee*

Budak dorm F03. Rumah hijau. Seblah katil. Slalu bajet rock padahal ayu je. Kdg2 teman komplot sorok hena. Tumpang makan mknn yg mak die or abg2 kakak2 die bawak time weekend. Denga die gosip pasal batch die. Pergh. Rasa mcm semalam baru form 5, up form 4.

Pasni kalau nampak org view dr dublin lg, kantoi la sape stalker tu ek. ahaks

Take care kiddo! jgn demam2 slalu sgt, jgn jerit2 jugak, nanti x anggun jelita dah ;)

Watched you.

I watched you

As you laughed and smiled

At every hi and hello

At every silly jokes

That makes your day glows

I watched you

As you walked and ran

Moving on so fast

That left me to wonder how

Leaving me to linger on the past

I watched you

As you grow and mature

With confidence so pure

That left me in awe

I guess it's time

For the watching to stop

As I have to figure out

Who am I, without your influence, no more.

3:52pm

Under the blue sky :)

Random acts of happiness.

Today I leisured by the lake for a break, eating chips while watching couples sunbathing and girls giggling under the bright sun.

And then as I walked back to the health science building, I saw this little red thing on every bike along the way.

And then I went to my bike and saw this. A free bike seat cover put up by complete anonymous strangers, on every bike in UCD. haha. comel gila.

The sweet part is what's written on top of it. "Random acts of happiness, surprise someone with an ice cream today" , and I can't help but to smile alone at this :)

I guess it's been a while since I made others happy randomly. Told ya, it's the little insignificant thing that makes us smile, even just a simple random act of happiness, like a free bike seat cover everyone received today :)

An ice-cream treat, anyone?

I've always thought blocking people in the virtual world is kinda silly.

As if you can avoid the hurt in real life.

Just saying.

The little things.

Lately time has been flying real fast that I can hardly catch up, stop and think. People say overthinking leads to negative thoughts, but the thing is, I hardly think nowadays.

Maybe it's time to go with the flow and enjoy the ride. For if we were too focused on reaching the end, sometimes the journey seems hard and ugly.

Funny how some tiny little things can make us extremely sad.

Yet there still exist the little things we often took for granted, the little things that make us happy.

japanese date. haip!

eskrim.

These are the little things that make me smile, if not for the whole day, probably just for a while, it doesn't matter to me as long as the little things are still there.

I've been worrying too much, not thinking, but worrying. Not the exams. I'm not scared of exams anymore, because sooner or later it will pass, and then here comes another, and then comes another. So it's an endless cycle of exams for the path I chose.

Anyways, I did worry too much, didn't I? Pointless worries on things that are uncertain. Things that are not within my control. Then why worry? Why waste time worrying when you can be happy with all the little things?

I'll sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. Though it's a struggle to put the worries aside, I'll try, and be happy instead, because for all that I know, I'm done worrying :)

The sudden library madness.

When the exams approach, here comes the library madness too. Today was supposed to be a public holiday but because UCD's already in it's study week, the main library opens at 11am. I arrived around 10.50am and a whole bunch of people are already lining up in front of the library. Rasa mcm tgh beratur nk tggu grand opening ZARA ke subway halal ke ape.

(=.=)

Anyways, I was lining up when I saw James Franco yg blakon jadi Harry Osborn bestfriend spiderman dalam Spiderman tu. Seriously. Doppelganger betul. I looked twice or thrice or countless times in disbelief. Ececeh. Ok of course it's not James Franco, but they seriously

look alike, 99% alike. Or is it because my sight is affected by my abnormal sleeping schedule? Sheeeshhh. Obviously it wasn't franco how in the world would spiderman's bestfriend end up in UCD's library anyway (=.=)

Always observed people using this emoticon (me included) --> (=.=)

I always wonder how do you do that face in real life?

Posting some crappy stuff because I'm sleepy and about to doze off anytime now but it's the library so it'll be embarassing to sleep with my mouth open beside the fake James Franco.

post gamba dlm library bg feeling2 dlm library utk org2 yg snggup baca post ni hahah oh btw yg tu bukan fake james franco yg dimaksudkan (=.=)

Ok sudah segar kembali. Thank you blog! :)

bye.

p/s: happy 21st birthday gendot! (konfem la x baca blog ni so x mungkin prasan. smoga makin gemok. haha)

Escapism.

Finding a clever way of avoiding the books for now; blogging! :)

So I'm gonna randomly blabber on things that happened to cross my mind right now. Well I know this sounds boring and outdated (countdowns are boring), but the finals will start on 3rd May, which is exactly 9 DAYS from now. Every time the exams approach there will always, I tell you, ALWAYS, have a post that sounds like this on this crappy blog. Countdown hari exam, banyak x study lagi, complaint penat blablablabla.

haha. bear with me, as I'll act this way whenever the exam comes.

Now tell me, how is it possible to finish up everything within that 9 days? I have 5 subjects to cover (elective will be stepdaughter-ed for now) and each subjects amounted to a whole pain-in-the-arse countless reading and revising lectures plus past-year papers that seem to never end *pengsan*

And each time that I proceed to the next lecture I'll already forget what I've read previously by then. Memang best sgt, sukew sgt2 kalau baca terus lupa, mmg ohsem la. Memorizing skills are definitely going down the hill =.=

Nevertheless, surrounded by awesome people in the house I begin to love, abso-bloomin-lutely helps with the pressure. We have fooood all the time, we have a borrowed piano, we have a trampoline in the backyard, we have each other's rooms whenever we need the push to study. Most importantly, we are awesome people and awesome people rock! :p

Looked through the old pictures and found one that has everyone in it! Back then nobody expected we'll end up in the same house :) Awesome people belong together kotttt :p

my birthday last year :')

haha pointless picture. just to show the view from my window. harini weather gloomy sket, just like my studying mood =.=

ok nk pegi tenung *bukan baca* buku lama2 sambil main facebook.bye

21. is that old enough?

We're old enough to make a choice

yet still young in many ways

Too young to pack our bags and go

too old to want to stay.

Young enough for fun and games

Too old for carefree lives

Young enough for hopes and dreams

Yet for reality we strive.

Old enough for heartfelt pain

too young to find the cure.

Too old for childish ways of past

too young to be mature.

Old enough to fall in love

and give our hearts away.

But still too young to understand

just why we feel this way.

In case you're wondering, yes, I wrote this poem. HAHA mestila tipu.

This is taken from a snippet of poem "Somewhere in the middle" (from the Chicken Soup series kalau tak silap), once introduced to us by my English teacher back in college. Back then, I don't bother understanding. Now when this hit me again, I realized, it described me the most.

I thought at 21 a normal human being would be able to make decisions on behalf of him/herself. Apparently, I failed miserably, still. On and on again.

Feels like having an alarm signal or something from above so that You can tell me which is the right choice for me and which is not for me to follow, that way, I'd be saved from making a whole bunch of silly mistakes again and again, and, yes, again. But I guess if life's that way, humans will end up like robots, not challenged and tested by anything.

And also, I thought at 20-ish years old, people would already have control over what he/she chooses, and not questioned like a child on "why did you do it this way", "why didn't you do this","why did you say this and this", etc. Apparently, it doesn't work that way and I wonder why..

World gets weirder day by day. And my unproductive brain is having trouble assimilating with everything that's going on. sigh

on another note, ohmygoodness it's less than five weeks from now! can't wait! :D *NOT REFERRING TO THE FINALS OK HARAP MAKLUM*

just some random thoughts. don't question me, please.

That one last thing.

Ever come across a point when that one last thing could mean a lot?

That one last word, can make you everlasting memories

That one last step, can make you reach your campus

That one last penny, can make a poor kid smile

That one last read, can make your exam marks satisfying

That one last correction, can hugely change your grades

That one last anger, can scar you forever

That one last smile, can make a sad day seemed bright

That one last struggle, can calm you after answering the finals

That one last effort, puts you under His redha

That one last thing, no matter how small, could mean a lot to you, or others, in many ways.

Sadly, that one last thing, is the thing we always missed. I'm definitely trying not to miss out on that one last thing. That one last thing might not matter to you the most, but it does matter to me when finals are less than 3 weeks away. Ok perlu ke ulang statement less than 3 weeks away tu haha. That one last effort, jom kejar!

You didn't know

You saw her walking

You saw her running

You didn't know

Yesterday she struggled crawling

You saw her talking

You saw her chatting

You didn't know

She was numb from head to toe

You saw her laugh

You saw her smiles

You didn't know

At night she cries

You always think

That you saw everything

And with that everything

You assume knowing

Don't bother asking

If you never care

For all that she knows,

Only curiosity drives you there

The next time you saw

A girl who's in pain

Think again

Are you asking, out of care or out of curiosity?

Because they say curiosity kills the cat.

eka, 10:30pm

accompanied by the loyal stars :)

Beeyouteefull dayy.

Was forced to go out for an evening jog by two mokciks. I was reluctant at first, thinking of the upcoming presentation and my second midterm for foodscience. And then I looked at the window and saw how beautiful the weather is, so apa lg, chalo bette!

Well actually, it's jogging plus photo-shooting ;)

rumah kami :)

where we're headed to; deer park! it was a sunday so there were lotsa families picnicking and strolling around the park.

ceh ceh nk tnjuk konon terer la amek gamba taraf dslr =.=

family day. budak naik basikal ketot tu comel gila.

ok jogging utk ini? jogged on the way to the park dah hilang 3kg, on the way home dah naik balik 3kg. hahaha. tgk pika tamak gila makan 2 aiskrim, esok ko kne jog 10round nk compensate balik :p

oh these pretty pink flowers made me fall in love everytime I passed through it otw to class :')

penaja camera: yan's olympus epl-1 :)

No more fooling around. I guess it's time to say that's it. Finals are less than a month away and I have to teach myself that there're no room for silly distractions. Thank You for a colourful evening! :)

Apa ada pada nama

Having lived in Dublin, now and then we're all bombarded with issues on names. Probably the same issue all Malaysian students overseas are facing all over the world.. I've been observing people posting and writing on this issue, and have been thinking about this for quite some time. Since people can be very judgemental at times, I put this thought aside for quite a while. Nevertheless, apa ada pada nama, if in the end all everyone wanted is to do good.

Apa ada pada nama

Jika dengan nama kita mengata

Dengan nama hati kita terasa

Bila akhirnya kebaikannya tiada

Apa ada pada nama

Jika bekerja hanya utk nama

Tanpa tahu kita mengejar apa

Mengajak kepada apa kalau bukan kepada Dia

Apa ada pada nama

Kalau dgn nama kita berbangga

Dengan nama kita terleka

Sehingga yg dulu kawan pun boleh lupa

Apa ada pada nama

Kalau dgn banyaknya nama

Kita menjaja nama disini sana

Saling menjeling kepada yg bukan kita

Kalau ini yg jadi, seriously, apa ada pada nama?

Mungkin benar nama itu perlu

Mungkin dgn byk nama akan mengajar kita bersatu

Mana mungkin wujud 1 nama dgn kepala beribu

Lain kepala lain cara menyeru

Jadi mungkin jugak nama itu perlu

Kan bagus kalau seantero dunia hanya ada 1 nama. Nama yg niatnya mengajak kpd yg baik. But of course, easier said than done. Different people have different ways of doing good. As long as everyone's heading to the same aim, without belittling others who're doing the exact same thing, no harm is done that way. Of course everyone has flaws, nobody's perfect, so don't judge people just by emphasizing on their flaws. That's bias.

Yg faham tu, faham la post ni. Yg x faham buat2 faham jugak.Penat oh. bye

Traffic.

I've been wanting to post this up for quite some time. See the live traffic feed normally found on most blogs? Know what's that for? That is to tell you who come and go on your site and what leads them here. Mine has often been my all-time source of amusement. It's fun to watch people who searched on other stuff but unfortunately ended up on this crappy blog.

So here's how the traffic feed looked like.

There're some logic ones like this one. "zulaikhazainol" and "dengki". Probably because of my previous post on hasad dengki. Tapi "Dublin arrived from google.ie on 'she has a blog' by searching for zulaikhazainol "?? BY SEARCHING FOR? hoyeah ada org search I tau. hot stuff x hot stuff x =.=" ok menggelabah di situ. No the point is, rasa terharu ada org sudi bce blog ni. sobs

And then comes the funny ones like this one. "soon to be a good doctor likes abah" ???Maybe he/she wanted to be a doctor like his/her dad but I have no idea how he/she ended up here. haha. grammar pun comel je salah. haha eh buruk prangai tego grammar org mcm kau perfect sgt ish. or maybe he/she meant bakal doktor yg baik suka abah? =.="

And then there're a few serious ones who searched on serious stuff like this, "hadis hak seorang muslim keatas muslim yang lain". I assumed my previous post where I put in a hadith on that actually led this person to my blog. Honestly, I feel bad for him/her. Mesti niat nk cari hadith from a good article tp tepaksa terbukak blog crappy ni, mintak maapp=.=

Okay this one is epic! I have no idea how someone who searched for "hady mirza is a nurse" ended up here. Since when have I ever posted things about hady mirza being a nurse? Seriously, a NURSE? Sejak ble hady mirza jadi nurse. Hadoi. And then there's a person searching for "facebook dalila kolej mara banting". kalau zulaikha kolej mara banting ok gak. xtau cne bley lead to blog ni, tp kalau nk mintak kirim salam kt dalila, boley sajeee :p

So yeah, I don't know in what way would this post matter to you. I just find it entertaining. And to those who happened to read this blog and couldn't find what you're searching for, thousand apologies for that.

If you have a blog, have a peek at your traffic feed and you'll never know who in the world actually finds you in the silliest way ;)

Hapdet.

For those of you who frequented this blog, you'll notice that I've just recently opened it back for the public. ceh bajet artis. Anyways, you might be sick of me acting all emo-ish suddenly closing the blog, suddenly deactivating facebook, suddenly activating facebook, suddenly reopening the blog, suddenly having a secret tumblr yadayadayada, but what to do, that's part of a 20-year-old freak growing up. I repeat, freak. Because no other 20-year-olds acted this way.

So, why do I suddenly feel like writing again? Don't ask because I have no answers for that. Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies. Well partly because I've always love writing. You know, people who find it hard to express things in words will often say things better when they write, and I'm part of that group.

Ok amende la minah ni bebel panjang. The point is, see the title of the post? It's HAPDET. So just so you know, I've moved to my new house last week. Quite a hassle. With lotsa phone calls made to arrange for our moving out, call landlord yg mcm ape halau org kelua awal, call pakcik van, call elektrik, call bank to change address, call internet blablabla. It was exhausting, for everyone. Luckily our new house has a trampoline *tetibe*

And with a gazillion stuffs to be packed, it wasn't something you enjoy doing everyday.

our room. before and after kemas. sobs

So, my new place was nice. I'm falling in love with my room already, and I don't miss my previous crib. And about this whole move-out thing, for those of you who knew, don't judge. For those of you who think you knew, don't judge. For those of you who heard stories from others and suddenly think you knew, don't judge too. Because assumptions kill.

Have a nice day everyone! Nak sambung hidup sbg budak medik jap. hahah

My birthday girl.

Well, it's 7th of April and I know you'll throw me THE face if I purposely forgot. haha

Mana boleh lupa birthday ira :) Regardless of how many times you bug me annoyingly on that fancy roxy purse, I'm still obliged to wish you a happy birthday right? :p

I remembered when I was in Standard One, back in 1997, Abah came and picked me up from school and I was sooo over the moon in the car to get back home and hug my first baby sister. I remembered Abah asking me, "baby ni kakak nk bagi nama apa?" (back then I was just 'kakak', instead of kaklong).Excited gila, trus rasa cm kakak sulung yg betggjawab ahaks :') Dulu there was a clash on what should we name you. Cewah gaya mcm nak bgi nama kt anak patung ja. haha. Mama wanted to name you Qamarina, and another choice was Zahirah. I voted for Zahirah, because I think it's cool if everybody have the same initials, Z. Zulaikha, Zharrieq, Zahirah, and of course 3 years later there's Zalia ;) And so everyone agreed on Zahirah, the bright one.

Happy 14th birthday ira :)

There're a few things I wish to tell you now, I mean, things I wish I'd know when I was 14 since I don't have a big sister for me to look up to. Don't worry if you have pimples, pimples are cute, and they'll come and go but they won't stay until you're 70 years old =.= Don't worry if you had a crush on some boy, because they'll be gone after SPM and you'll know by then that true love doesn't exist at highschool. Don't worry if some boy says he likes you soooo much, because at 14, boys normally don't mean what they say. Don't worry if sometimes friends leave you, because as you grow up you'll know who stays by your side and who doesn't. Don't worry if you feel stressed out with homeworks and tuitions, because it's just a tiny part of your whole life and you'll get through without you even realising it. Don't worry if a group of girls stare or jeling at you awkwardly, because they're just jealous that they're not as cute as you. Don't worry too much about all the little things in life because God put you through them to turn you into someone one day :)

2007- ignore the fat girl on the right. (see, dulu siap boleh riba lagi)

2010- now xbley nk riba dah dlm kete =.=

I know I'm not a good enough person and sometimes a bad sister, but I love you unconditionally. fewwit romantik x. Stay as you are, as smart, as pretty, as gorgeous as ever. May you grow up to be a wonderful young lady, a good daughter to mama n abah, who do not stumble even when faced with life's toughest decision. Don't brag, don't hate, don't judge people easily.

Happy 14th birthday! :)

Someone who misses you playing the piano,

kaklong.

The story of a tree.

There once lived a farmer

A farmer so young and tall

He planted trees and flowers

Through winter and through fall

This farmer has an apple tree

Which he watered everyday

He gave all nutritions the tree needs

To survive in every way

The apple tree now grows healthy and tall

And it thought the farmer loves it the most

It grows with joy and pride among all

Thinking it will forever be loved

One day the farmer, with all his might

Bring home a pretty orange tree

He took care of it, day and night

And up grew the orange tree, tall and bright

The farmer now loved oranges

And he forgot the apples

The apple tree grew ugly and useless

And sat there alone in the darkness

No matter how hard the apple tree tried

To find the water it needs, it didn't want to die

In the hope of being the favourite in the farmer's eye

The apple tree tried and tried.

The apple tree now grew old and tired

The farmer forgot that it existed

He didn't remember how apples taste like

For as humans, sometimes they change their hearts.

As always, a crappy poem from the crappy me.

eka, 1.30am

accompanied by the stars :')