2010 plus one.

Heyho. 2010 plus one is 2011. Definitely will date my papers with 2010 for a few months instead of 2011. That's what I did when a new year barges in. Silap tulis tahun kat tarikh. Ok whatever tak penting. Anyways, like I always did when a whole year is leaving me, I write weird stuff. Like what happened, what I wanted to happen but don't happen, resolutions and stuff. Like what I did on 2009. 2010 was special, annoying, fun, awesome, every word you can throw into a rojak. A hell of a ride. So much things happen in so little time. And I'm one year closer towards death itself.

Anyways, this post might be the longest. You might wanna grab a pillow just in case you fell asleep while reading.haha. So here's some random pictures throughout the year, I repeat, RANDOM. Susun pun ikut sedap hati perot sahaje. Caption pun sungguh malas sekali. So tak perlu lepas ni nangis buat banjir kilat bawah bantal sebab ika tak letak gambar dengan saya sobs sobs. Babab kang. Random ok people. How can I possibly put everybody's pictures here. Confirm tak cukup space. Too many memories with too many beautiful handsome people :')

family first. cewah cewah. summer 2010.

the awang clan :)

A few things I've picked up throughout the year;

Don't talk when you're angry.

Oh well God had been trying to teach me this millions of times before. Whenever I talk when I'm not in the right state of mind, the outcome won't be very comforting. Sometimes I just wished that somebody would poke me in the head whenever I'm about to blurt something out when I'm angry and yell, "Ika, stop talking coz you're angry right now, silly."

In whatever thing you do, do it sincerely.

Sometimes you felt tired of doing the same thing for a certain someone but as someone recently taught me, do it sincerely. Because why waste all your energy doing something you don't like and in the end not getting any reward in return, worse, no pahala in return. Instead, you can do it wholeheartedly and sincerely no matter how much you loathed doing it and no matter how tired you feel in the end.

Never trust anybody with any secrets.

Well, being the chirpy bird that I am, no one should evahh trust me with any secrets too. And I learned throughout my pre-adult life that nobody can be trusted. You can tell people about your problems and so forth but keep in mind that everybody's human, and humans talk. From now on I've learned a lot not to tell everything to anyone as everything you've spat out will come back to you, changed, or exaggerated. Even if you love sharing your secrets with others, at least save some for yourself and only yourself knows about it. For instance, "I farted the loudest when I'm alone." At least keep one secret only to yourself kan? haha

When people say no, take it as a no.

I can be a bit pushy at times. And whenever I did that, I'll end up feeling embarassed. Also tired of having to ask millions of times and the answer's still no. So what I finally learned is if it's a no, and if your requests are turned down again and again, just back off and take it as a no, and sedar diri sikit. Finally sy sedar diri skit.

If people say anything about you, ignore them because they don't know you.

Funny how people can say nasty things behind your back, and act so very sweetly in front of you. I pity those who were treated like this. And what I learned is whenever you hear people talking about you, setting you up with anybody, pity them. They have nothing better to talk about. Maybe they should talk about the tube workers' strike in London, or the accident that killed almost the whole bus in Cameron Highlands, or anything life-changing.

Don't talk nasty things about people. "Don't" with a capital D.

I talk about people a lot. Say, if we make a ratio of me talking about 'people' to 'new life-improving ideas', it would probably be 1000:1, on a daily basis. That's how narrow-minded I am. Talking about oh her dress is cute, oh that person says this and this, oh he likes her she likes him yadayadayada. I don't know, sometimes it's just because you feel relieved when you talk about others. I've learned not to talk negative things about people, coz it may happen to you one day. Yeknow, people talking about you behind your sexy back. Because people often misjudge what I said. But of course life's not fun without a lilbit of spices and drama. So maybe I'll keep talking about you, you, and you, just minus the negative talking. Only good things, like cute actors and excellent results. heee :p

Love your friends.

You'll never miss them until they're gone. Sometimes we tend to forget to appreciate people around us because we see them everyday. I learned that in the hardest of times, those you never expected will pop out of nowhere, to lend a helping hand and listen to your pointless drama over and over again and never gets tired. To you-know-who-you-are, I love you, you and you you you, I always do. Glad that God gave me you to listen to my ridiculous babblings every time I hit rock bottom. Maybe that's why people say friends are blessings from God. Friendship can never ends. If it ends, it means it never actually started and existed in the first place.

Good things come to those who wait.

This is the hardest part of all, for me to absorb. Sometimes, you pray for things to happen faster, without knowing that if it happens now will it be the best choice for you, or not. Like you wanted a super-yummy and gastrologically delightful nasi goreng and you want it now now now now, but whosoever will determine if it's going to turn out yummy like you wanted. Maybe if you waited a few minutes, it will taste exactly like you wanted it to. You just have to wait. No matter how painful the waiting is, it might turn out worthwhile one day. Good things happen to those who wait. I've said this many many times already to myself, relax and enjoy the ride. Maybe this is the time to not just say, but to act it out. Walk the talk.

Actually, after writing all this, I freely claimed myself as cakap lebat. Berapi-api je tulis semua benda tapi tak buat. Kononnya nak bajet yang 2010 dah ajar banyak benda la kan. Padahal ni goreng je. Ntah berubah ntah tidak. Doakan2 okay :)

Gamba ni last sebab macam merah-merah warna plus gelak macam tak ingat dunia ingat akhirat je,

semangat tahun baru :') This was on my birthday last october.

All in all, 2010, an awesome one Alhamdulillah. At least I'm still alive till now. At least there's still a chance for me to repent all bad things I've done this year.

A happy goodbye to you 2010.

In two days time, ahlan wasahlan 2011,

infelice.tumblr.com

Dear 2011, let's make it better and be kind to me please :)

p/s: I'll be on my way to Spain at that time. So that's why this is an early post to wish all of you a better year ahead inshaAllah. Prolly no post till I get back from the trip. Prayers are all needed ok :)

21st

Happy Anniversary! :)

371 days.

A crappy post for those who care only. And if you have nothing better to do, seriously. If your housemates told you to eat or sing isabella adalahh, you better go eat and sing instead of reading this crappy post.

Went to the Moroccan embassy today to get my visa done. Trip's next week! Been praying for no delays as we'll be on lotsa flights throughout the trip. After the visa thingy the rest decided to go shopping at the city, and so I went straight back home. As I have stated millions times before that I'm pretty sure I'm sending you off to boredom by saying this again, I loveee morning walks. Just realized that on the way to the bus stop from the embassy there's this big church that looks so beautiful covered in snow. And then with the sun spraying it's light, the snow looks so glittery I think I'm falling in love. Well not in love with the temperature though. Seriously my toes swelled again as I reached home. Sejuk macam doremifasolatido$%%$#@$! urghh >.<"

pretty. sunlight glitters the snow :)

So what's up with the title. 371 days? Yep. That's the number of days I've been away from good old penang and malaysia, excluding the summer holidays. Don't think I'm hardworking and nerdy enough to go count every single day, pakai daycounter sudahh. Of all the 371days, if you ask me to name one day that I enjoy the most, it'll be tough. Maybe because I enjoy every single day, or because nothing special ever sticks in my head for that period of time, or simply because everyday hurts. Have your guess. Since the winter holidays have now started, I'm trying hard to make every second matters, and to make time flies. But as I sat under the blanket waiting for time to pass, it feels like forever. Tolong la cuti cepat habis. I know holidays are fun but if you have nothing better to do, you'll end up staring at your own ceiling.

Believe it or not, in three days, I almost finished reading a book. What an achievement for someone who hasn't been reading for quite a while. It was nice though. Lying under my duvet with music blasting loud, and looking at the window now and then to have a look at the clear blue sky as I read. WOHH bunyi macam jiwang. But whatever, that's what I do most of the times. Eat, read, think.

I have another 1,346 days before I hopefully graduated from here, which would be in August 2014. So 371 days have already waved goodbye without much fuss. Well actually, a LOT of fuss. But let it be. 1000++ days left. Not even sure if I'm alive at that time to receive the scroll.

Happy holidays people! For those of you who're now dispersed all over Europe, may the weather treats you well for your upcoming journey. ameennn~

And to Kak noli, have a blast and enjoy the big dinner ;) Looking forward to see you!

p/s: I love morning walks. Oh wait did I tell you that already? Whatever. I still love morning walks.

imma nerd.

back to my old forgotten hobby. reading :)

p/s: funny how you can say yes to others but no to me.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

FEELS LIKE LAUGHING TILL THE TEARS CAME OUT AND TILL I COLLAPSED.

Snowy snowy.

Today, went out to bring a few friends around Dublin. Though it's freezingggg cold we managed to walk around dublin, despite the muddy snow and all pins and needles on our toes.

Will update more later. Blog ni dah macam blog pengupdate-an instead of emo. Emo kurang, update naik. woot woooot. Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

Here's a video I won't put on facebook, because facebook is now polluted (ceh ceh apa beza people can still watch -.-" )

bukan taknak tolong orang stranded kereta tapi bila nampak pakcik2 yang lebih gagah, terus meneruskan proses rekod kamera tanpa mengambil peduli. haha.

Nisha apsal suara kau macam penceramah forum perdana?

The winter holidays

Have now begin :)

Yesterday was the last day of exams. We went to the city straight after, and gosh it was crowded. Rasa macam raya. People doing their christmas shopping. Terus no mood shopping since ramai sangat orang. urghh

But we were celebrated with a snowy night :)

When I woke up this morning, it was all white and pure. And my morning walk to rifa' was nice despite the falling snow all over my face.

Something from this morning's sharing hit me. In whatever thing we do during the holidays, our time, our energy, our money, will come to an end. Will reach the level zero. However, it's either you put them into a good purpose, or a bad one. Because at the end of this holiday, it will all end. Your money goes to a heart-wrenching sum. Your energy goes kiok as you reached home dog-tired from all the travelling. Your holiday time will obviously end too. So yeah, hopefully this year's winter holidays will be fun and not time-wasting.

Ehem2.For the good purpose, sebagai contoh, spending time travelling all over europe during winter and buying souvenirs for Ika. Now that's a good purpose for spending your time, money and energy. wink2 :p

The only sad thing is I won't be able to join you guys to that thing. I really look forward to it and considering that I won't be going, hopefully you'll have the time of your life this year :)

9am. Today the sun didn't accompany me, but the snow did :)

ramaiiiiiiii >.<' christmas market pun dah start.

And today we received a few friends from UK, we prepared an amateur pasembor, and nasi lemak. Hopefully tak terkurang apa2.

To toncet and jambul, thank youuu for being such a darling, cleaning the house, cooking sambal and whatnot. Love you longgg time :)

By the way toncet and jambul, our *tuttt* session is no time-wasting okay. Penting untuk masa depan tuuu :p

Jigsaw puzzle

A little girl assembled a puzzle of 1000 pieces

Then someone came and break them apart

And then the little girl struggled to assemble them again

And someone came by and break them apart, again

The little girl did the same thing, assembling the puzzle patiently,

again and again.

What if one day,

she gets tired of assembling the puzzle pieces and left them strewn on the floor?

What if one day,

she gave up?

Maybe when the day comes, you'll realize how important the puzzle is for the little girl

and maybe when the day comes, you'll stop breaking them apart.

Tak habis-habis.

Tak habis-habis minah ni nak post-post video lama time kolej. Bajet rindu ah? lol

ni videos of my previous classmates taken from everyone's camera, whats the point of leaving the videos with spider webs in my folders, better post it here so everyone can have a good laugh :) banyak video candid, so cam serabot sket. tapi priceless tu yang penting kan :') oh by the way, some videos have their audio missing. so takyah geram2 tekan keyboard untuk maximize volumes ok.haha

bbq 2007. jambukah semua?

bbq 2007 sesi cara goreng ikan bilis besame tige makhluk tembam

candid pizzahut. 2009. luqman sungguh penipu, konon nak capture tapi dok record. urghh

last day meeting cikgu fathimoh after IB exam :')

kenape rekod kenapeee? our hiking moments at gunung irau :)

wahahaa kena denda time bio :D

OK THIS IS THE FUNNIEST AND MOST PRICELESS! the boys recorded a kononnya haunted video. sape pakai telekung aku jadi hantu? LOL :D

tengok sampai habis walaupun ada part blank tu ok.

gunung irau 2009 :') pardon all the gossips, it's no longer relevant now.huhu

There's a whole lot videos in my folders but lets just keep that for the future. Contohnye kalau nak blackmail or ugut, bley guna video makcik toncet nyanyi2 ke. kan kan :p

Somebody please tell me I'm not the only one missing these moments :')

Lake and swans.

I have only recently noticed that this month's post was the highest ever since 2007, I normally write in this blog only rarely, like once or twice a month, lepas tu biar bersawang. haha. Well I guess facebook and blogging are two substitute goods, the more time you spent with one thing the less time you spent on the other ;)

And yeah yesterday I dropped into by the lake on campus, and since the two makcik toncet dan jambul kirim roti expired (tapi tak berkulat, jangan ingat kami aniaya binatang) untuk disedekahkan to the swans and ducks, I spent a little more time by the lake feeding them. Oh remember when I said the lake was frozen last time? This time it has started melting and the birds were swimming around like they used to :)

before bagi makan, semua tak pandang aku. fine~

burung putih yang ganas seperti biasa. macam satu abad tak makan.

and then these two pretty darlings came by

omnyomnyomnyomnyom

The lake. My favourite spot. Always. Today we'll be facing the monstrous neuroanatomy exam, which will eat me alive. Doakan. Little brain, sorry I complained about you speeding like a siput babi, but work with me today babyyy!

The weather's a bit cold yesterday. So after cycling back home, hello chilblains! thank you so much for visiting me again >.<'

p/s:

"For what I've done,

don't ever assume that

I'm typical like the others

because I love,

and they don't."

givappp.

Econs...sangat..banyak...tak pernah tawakkal sedahsyat ini.

Tomorrow I'll be answering based on common sense instead of textbook. Tak pun kira cilokcipengpeng n tembak jawapan yang bertuah.

beserah diri untuk gagal dalam kehidupan. selamat tinggal ekonomi dan dunia. bye

p/s: junior sila jangan amek econs sebagai elektif kalau takde memory space 500GB. sekian

Otak saya.

p/s: pic by medi belortaja.

Hi, I'm Zulaikha's brain. I work as slow as a siput babi.

Tomorrow will be having Microeconomics early in the morning. But no matter how much I loved Econs during IB, I honestly regret choosing microeconomics for my elective this semester. T.T A whole 400pages to be read in one night? Dengan otak macam siput kura-kura diatas?

and on Friday, the most terrifying exam ever, NEURO. jeng jeng jeng. Dah la otak macam siput pastu nak baca pasal otak.

Killer subject oh. Please don't kill me please.

Diving into economics terms and concepts this whole night. bye

tak suka tak suka tak suka tak suka tak suka. >.<'

Give give give.

Something interesting to watch :)

Source: CNN International

"Everybody has got 5.5 litres of blood. I am just a human being. For me everybody is the same."

"Start giving, see the joy of giving."

p/s: as always, it didn't come out right. so here's the link.

Phrase invented during the exam week.

I was about to sleep, but the eyes tak boleh ptosis. Nak study tak masuk dah sebab 1.45am is the time for my beauty sleep ahaks ahaks, tapi tak boleh tidur. So seorang makcik toncet cakap, ika, pergila berblog.

And so this is the post to list out all phrases invented during the exam week. -.-"

1) Ain toncet (ranking number 1 ohh- ikut frequency penggunaan. hahah)

2) Pungkoq hang. (don't try this at home. tahap pencarutan = 7/10 )

3) 5 minit...5 minit lagi pleasee...zZzZz. (suruh kejut pastu taknak bangun -.-")

4) Tesco jom! (frasa setiap hari)

5) Ikan murah weyy! Roti murah weyy! (frasa yang menyenangkan perut setiap kali pulang dari tesco)

6) ohh siapa budak tembam dalam cermin ni? (lalala~)

7) Kau la mandi dulu..taknak kau la mandi duluuu.. (toilet remains empty semua malas mandi dulu)

8) Dah 3 kali aku snooze handphone ni zZzZz (duvet monster)

9) Aku rase jodoh aku dengan abang senior masa intern nanti.. (3 kali sehari diulang oleh tuttt, takpe wey inshaAllah jadi doa.lol )

10) Wey lapa la.. Aku pun lapa.. (seminit kemudian: nyomnyomnyomnyom)

11) Cari fengshui.. mana fengshui aku..(sambil baring dalam duvet konon2 fengshui study kat situ, pastu zZzZ -.-")

12) Ain bontoncet. (gabungan boncet+toncet)

Ok tu je. Nanti kalau ada phrase baru kitorg add up lagi. mata dah mula ptosis sikit demi sikit. Endocrine Biology is up tomorrow! A whole day of reading hormones and glands fuhh fuhh. Tapi satu hapebende pun tak ingat. Nice.

Nitey pretty people. Endocrine, be nice to me please :)

Sayangnya.

Elo. (gaya gabe bondoc hot aww aww) -.-"

Post ni akan jadi panjang gila. Kalau dapat stay tune till the end, tabik spring sama anda ;)

Have you ever experience a moment when you feel like screaming, "alaaa sayangnyaaaa"?

Please read with the right intonation; "alaaa sayangnyaaa". Oh macam takde beza je -.-"

Imagine you have a camera. A camera you kept for 10 years and for that period it captured all pretty moments in your life. And you have never copied a single picture from the camera to your laptop or pc or printed them in any way. Then one day, somebody played with your precious camera and deleted all the pictures accidentally. What would your reaction be? "Alaaa sayangnyaaa semua gambar tuu, 10 tahun aku kumpul tau tak."

Imagine you're playing Unostacko with your friends. Tau tak unostacko tu apa? Yang stack2 uno block sampai setinggi yang boleh. Kalau taktau jugak g google. So you played until the very maximum height you can ever stacked. Then somebody came around and accidentally pushed it and it crushed all the way to the ground. What would your reaction be? "Alaaa sayangnyaaa sikit je lagi nak tinggi macam klcc, 10 jam aku main tau tak."

Imagine you're cooking a big pot of chicken curry. Macam ada 100ketul ayam satu periuk. Then suddenly somebody came around and accidentally spilled a bottle of salt into the pot and walla, masin boleh kena hypertension. What would your reaction be? "Alaaa sayangnyaaaa 100 ketul ayam weyyy habis masin tak boleh makan, penat aku masak."

And that's exactly how I feel right now. Sayangnya kalau tak turn out the way I want it to be. Serius sayang sangat. Eh banyaknya s, macam tongue twister, serius sayang sangat sagu santan susah senang sopan sotong. ok dah.

Sometimes when we put a lot of effort building or making or cultivating something, we tend to put our hearts together with them. And when it was taken away from us, we find it hard to let go. Like, "Alaaa sayangnyaaaa." And after much effort for these last two years (and counting), I am not letting go that easily. Let go apa? Lu pikir la sendiri. hahaha. nabil cakap, bukan saya. ok tak lawak.

But then again, no matter how much effort we put in whatever we're doing, the power is still in God's hand. He can take it away from us whenever He desires because He knows best.

The usual random crap by me. Oh hari ni exam locomotor biology- lower limb, kira tahap kalau muntah boleh keluar kaki la. My tummy's grumbling all the way through the exam because I forgot to fill it up with something. Sorry tummy, my bad. So as we are now blessed with a great chef named Nisha (wink2), hari2 makan besaq laaa wooot woooooot. Harini, tesco buat promotion, ikan haddock murah nak pengsan. bukan nak mati, nak pengsan je. So menu hari ini, haddock masak lemak!

look at the price! 3.79euro jadi 95sen? whattheheck. whatthehaddock.

tak boleh tunjuk muka cun chef nisha, dia cakap bakat memasak hanya untuk suami. aww aww

tapi bakat dia dah dipergunakan oleh duvet monster dibawah;

hasil pemasakan haddock >>>

nampak tak tangan duvet monster terjulur kelua? tu maksudnye duvet monster dah kenyang sebab hari2 perut kena sumbat dgn nisha. lol

dah la besepah buku. memang monster betul.

p/s: duvet = selimut tebal. sebut ala2 sexy sket, bukan dooovetttt, tapi doo-vayyyh. ouh sexy.

Chilblains.

Chilblains chilblains chilblains chilblains chilblains.

Go google. Freakin chilblains. Urghh >.<"

Rindu.

All of a sudden rindu semua ni;

1) The feeling of freedom after SPM, like the whole world is finally yours.

2) Zaman smap, eat babu's bread at the hostel's back gate every Monday evening.

3) Zaman smap lagi, climbing the front gate of the hostel after a late-night illegal return from times square.

4) Secretly went to rumah belakang sekolah to charge handphones dekat makcik aiskrim. Sehari seringgit kalau tak silap.

5) Mengumpat PP (pemimpin pelajar aka pengawas) sebab gelabah cari handphone orang. Sorry PP.

6) Jumping and screaming like crazy alone in the house when JPA application status stated 'accepted'.

6) Talking in front of the rotating fan and hearing your own robot voice.Macam cool geela.Ireland tak guna kipas pusing. sobs

7) Jogging to the beach with abah and ayit and spontaneously mandi upon reaching the beach.

8) Driving our baby kelisa and hearing ayit scream everytime the speed exceeds 100.

9) Talking to ira and adik until midnight and pretending to sleep when mama peeked through the door.

10) Salam abah and mama before sleeping every night.

11) Rempit the whole kampung on tok awang's bike.

12) Gaduh dengan geng kampung sebelah sebab gelabah gila panggil kitorang hitam. Macam kau putih melepak sangat.

13) The urge of sending lab reports every week in KMB.

14) Aiskrim Maksu. Jus epal wakaf.

15) Patrick, spongebob, and teddy at home.

16) The arguments everytime planning a class outing.

17) The last day of Chemistry exam, IB.

18) Crying and having someone to really listen to you.

I miss everything that is not related to Dublin. Life has not been this much complicated before, this city tends to turn my life upside-down.

Ngapppp tak bersyukur. Cepuk kepala sendiri.

Exam pharmaco+patho+microb tadi susah, tapi must stay positive. Boleh jawab boleh jawab boleh jawab. inshaALLAH.

p/s: "I'm sorry does my back hurt your knife?" Epic. lol

Bodoh.Hodoh.Busuk.Gemuk.

Today I learned something precious,

Telling people "I'm stupid", won't make you any smarter.

Telling people "I'm ugly", won't make you any prettier.

Telling people "my fart stinks", won't make it smells any better.

Sometimes we tell others, oh I'm so stupid, oh I'm so fat, oh I'm so ugly, oh I'm so dark,

Just to make them comfort us and tell us no you're pretty, no you're gorgeous blablabla.

So pathetic. I did that most of the times, but not to seek for people comforting me, but because of inferiority complex.*eceh eceh berdalih pulak*

If you noticed, sometimes people upload a picture, say in their blog or on facebook, and put a caption to tell the world, like,

"saya sungguh gemok dan buruk."

"saya sungguh tembam."

"saya nampak selekeh dan hodoh."

Then orang pun berduyun-duyun komen,

"Taklah you look pretty in this."

"No lah slim macam maya karin je aku tengok."

"Orang tengok kurus selim cantik je."

Mengaku diri sendiri tak cantik, sebab nak orang puji kita cantik.

Mengaku diri sendiri bodoh, sebab nak orang puji kita pandai.

Mengaku diri sendiri gemok gedempol, sebab nak orang puji kita kurus slim.

Itulah saya. Tak pernah reti bersyukur.

To people surrounding me these past few days, sorry for having to bear with my constant pain-in-the-ass complaints of how ugly how stupid how much lecture notes I haven't covered. Ampunnn.

UCDians second year especially, all the best for tomorrow until 20hb. Usaha sehabis mana pun kalau Allah kata susah, susah jugak. wuwuu

Maybe that's why efforts need to come together with prayers and tawakkal.

Ya Allah please make it smooth and easy for us and whenever we're stuck in the middle of answering the papers please please please spark some ideas in our worn-out brain pleaseee :)

my final lap.bye semua

Zulaikha

Tak boleh blah tajuk post nama sendiri. Memang nak cerita pasal Zulaikha pun so whatt

Dulu kat kolej, bila kelas agama, before start kelas ustazah suruh somebody cerita anything related to sirah. So everyone had to prepare when it's their turn. Then one day, somebody told a story about Yusuf and Zulaikha.

Zulaikha.

I've fallen in love with my own name a longg time ago. Eh biarlah nak suka nama sendiri. I'm one of the 90's babies, di mana zaman tu tak wujud lagi nama2 macam sekarang, semua nak nama double2 panjang2 yang bunyi ala2 east meet west, contohnya Inca Medina, Rayyan Shakiel, Naura Syafiqa. Contoh2 nama yang dicilok dari Google. *tiada kaitan sama ada yang hidup atau yang telah meninggalkan kita* If one day God blesses me with children, nak bagi nama yang satu patah perkataan sahaja dan ada maksud seperti Amin, Aina, etc. Senang ibu nak panggil.

Taktau mana abah and mama dapat idea nak bagi nama Zulaikha. Abah cakap masa dalam perut lagi memang dah set nak bagi nama tu. Masa mama mengandung ayit abah ada list possible names for his hero and bila lahir baru paapppp bagi nama Zharrieq Haizzad, tak macam kaklong yang telah dianticipate untuk dinamakan Zulaikha. haha sila jeles.

If you tried googling the name Zulaikha *hah confirm lepas ni pergi try*, mesti keluar nama model Farah Zulaikha yang hot and brainiac tu. Tak pun keluar website krim uban jenama Zulaikha -.-" Lawak geela google nama sendiri keluar pasal krim uban? whatthefish. Whatever it is, that's not me. Anyways if I look at the Arabic dictionary for names, it states "Prophet Yusuf's wife" or "brilliant beauty". Yang "brilliant beauty" tu, bolehlah mata ke atas , tangan ke dada dan muntah seorang diri. hahaha

Oh yeah back to the story. There's a specific snippet in the alQuran telling us the story of Yusuf and Imra'ah alAziz (Zulaikha), (surah Yusuf, surah ke-12, ayat 21 onwards). Tapi dalam alQuran tak sebut pun Zulaikha, taktau mana datang Zulaikha because in the Quran she was referred to as Imra'ah alAziz, the wife of alAziz. Basically what's unique of this woman is she was narrated both from the positive and negative point of view. Most of us regarded only the negative part. And that's how my classmate in college narrated the story masa kelas agama, disregarding the part where God told us how she repented dalam ayat 51-53. Habis tercemar nama aku. huh

I stumbled upon a good article from Saifulislam (baca!baca!), and it explains much of the story and how we're supposed to look at it. Because most of us when recalling the story of Yusuf and Zulaikha mesti nak recall kisah Zulaikha jahat goda Yusuf or cinta romantik lovey dovey without actually taking the real gist of the story. So if you got time go have a look at the article aite.

So the name Zulaikha has two different connotations. Si penggoda Yusuf, and sang hamba yang bertaubat penuh sesal.

Tanpa sedar, at times, I have turned into the first one, but I have always wanted to be the latter :(

Nauzubillah. and Astaghfirullah.

sobs

p/s: OMG exam lusa kau ada masa nak update blog camni? Macamana nak berjaya dalam kehidupan hah? Macamana macamana?! fine. g study skarang. bye

saya rasa saya hipokrit teragung sedunia. serius tak tipu.

"Sometimes you have to be apart from the people you love, but that doesn't make you love them any less. Sometimes you love them more."

I hate you,

Do you know one thing that sucks when it comes to blogging?

Whenever you write anything people will think you're talking about them when in fact you're referring to something else.

And sometimes the message was taken the wrong way.

So if let say, I say,

I hate you.

Hah confirm korang ingat aku benci korang yang sedang membaca ni kan?

haha. well then, i hate you. pergilah percaya.

haha no lah of course I love you :)

The Man I Love.

In my life, there has always been the man I love. My favourite guy. Paling hensem di mataku. Paling lawak bila buat lawak. Paling sanggup teman me anywhere. hahaha. The one I missed when he's not around. Oh well, in my case, I'm lucky because God gave me two of them.

The first guy;

abah playing ps3 dengan penuh ketenangan.DAH LA DUDUK BERTAPA ATAS COFFEE TABLE.lol owh abahku sungguh comel :D

"abah takyah selamatkan diaaa!" sorry ira memang emo skit -.-"

The second guy;

ayit polishing his rusty piano skills. boleh lah main lagu budak2 simple macam bapaku pulang dari kota -.-"

semangat gila baca music sheet mulut ternganga2 LOL :D

The third guy? My 'Yusuf'? Ehem ehem. Awatla gedik sangat ni. Babab kang.

That's the three two men I love. Always have, always will.

Mode: RINDU DUA JEJAKA INI.

p/s macam P.S I love you: Ok now I realized that without facebook, I spent more time blogging, which is nicer, because you're not prone to harsh words or unreplied comments or inappropriate jealousy or broken hearts :)

My new year.

Today's the first Muharram of 1432 hijriyah. What did I do on the first day of the year?

*haha as if anyone cares*

Decided to go to the library. Need to return an overdue book. Headed out in the morning and wanted to cycle. Kesian Gayah *nama baru basikal* lama tak guna. So today I decided to refresh the gears and all. Regang-regangkan rantai basikal. Suddenly when I was about to unlock, beku weh!Diselaputi ice. Tak boleh unlock Gayah -.-" wah stress. Sorry Gayah, I terpaksa jalan kaki youu.

So I walked.Well actually it was more of sliding. Licin. Banyak kali shuffle sorang2. But it was nice. I've always loved morning walks. :) On the way to the library. Saw a group of people graduating. Happy faces, with parents. Exactly what I dreamt of. In graduation robes. Receiving the scroll in the O'Reilly Hall. Snap pictures with mama abah suami depan lake. Lompat-lompat baling topi. Am I able to be like them in August 2014? *eceh monolog pulak*

my worn-out shoes that loves to shuffle instead of walk.

tiba2 nampak.

zoom sket.

Then saw a very weird view. Swans and ducks WALKING ON the lake. WALKING WEH. It's weird because they're supposed to swim IN the lake, not walk ON the lake. But because the lake was frozen, they walked on ice. cute gila!

see the white dots? itulah burung trademark ucd yang sedang berjalan ATAS ais. *ok enough jakun*

see the building behind? that's O'Reilly Hall. Where I'll be graduating in 2014 inshaAllah

ok sila ameen cepat! ameen ameen ameeeen :D

oh yeah baby.

And then when I reached home, somebody messaged, apa azam tahun baru? Time tu baru nak terfikir. I don't actually have any resolution for the new year ahead of me. I guess when you grow old, all you wanted is to be better each year, no need to resolves on anything if that's your aim everyday :) To be closer to Him too. Walaupun selalu fail -.-"

Bila awal muharram, teringat zaman SMAPK, where everyone gathered in the musolla, reciting yassin 3 kali (which I normally dozed off the 3rd time sebab lama haha) and somebody recited doa akhir dan awal tahun :')

Selamat menyambut tahun baru maal hijrah everyone :)

Okay I think I'm high on drugs. The whole day reading pharmaco patho microb mata dah berpinar-pinar. It's 3.39am and I'm off to bed. Nitey pretty people. Much love. Happy Awal Muharram 1432!

Masa sangat suntuk. Sangat sangat sangat suntuk.

And I still sleep 10hours a day -.-"

My Sunday.

Today was a good day. A sunny day. The snow is melting. Sky's blue, no rain. Only difference is I felt much older than last Sunday. Well literally memang la day by day we grow old. But today it's different. Maybe because of the conversation I had yesterday :)

Today, in the morning, I walked to a friend's house for a lilbit of sharing. Accompanied by the melting snow and a loud blast of music playing from my ipod. But luckily it's not that slippery. And it was nice actually walking in the morning, with the sunrise and all. Just realized that it's been a long time since my last morning walk. Sampai rumah, started the session. And the first thing someone asked was, give us one word that keeps on dawdling in your mind this week, but no need to elaborate.

Someone started, Malu. The next one. Muhasabah. Somebody else answered, Organised. Sensitif. Qudwah. And a few other interesting answers. When it's my turn, I said,

"Bersalah."

Yeah. These past few days, well actually these past few weeks, I never quite comprehend why I've been feeling guilty, a lot lately. Not guilty to a certain person, but guilty to myself. And guilty to God. Yes, guilty to God. A guilt in which I have no idea of how in the world can I erase.

And yesterday I realized, I am guilty. I made a huge mistake to God. I broke a promise made a year ago. I changed so significantly.

Two years ago, on this exact date, everything was so different. And yesterday I realized that something has to change if what I wanted is the future.

A future that brings us to heaven and blessed by Him couldn't possibly be built if I acted this way now. So something has to change, I have to change, for the future I dreamt of :)

Something needs to hold on now, because there is something better lined up in the future.

2008. A very happy person indeed.

A girl turning 21 and just realized she's not a girl anymore, she's a woman, with responsibility.

After the sharing session, went home, bake a cake, blogged on this, and will now start studying. So yeah, that's my Sunday :)

Adoi sakit. Cannot walk, must meringkuk mcm ulat baru comfortable. Ahaha exaggerate pulak. Panadol please work please please please.

11.36pm.

Hey here's something most of you don't know.

Sometimes when you feel like reading my blog, you'll find out that it's locked and you need a password to read.

If that happens, that means I'm in a very gloomy mood and emo2 pergi tukar setting blog because silly me thinks that if I shut myself from the cyber world I'd be stronger and not vulnerable.

So yeah, please don't go away. Drop by once in a while if you care, because this blog will never ever be closed by me, only temporarily at times ;)

Anyone reading this, I love you! Seriously I love you. No I'm serious, I love you ,really. With no doubt, I love you. Like seriously, I love you. I love you, no joke. Okay dah annoying gila merepek malam2 (-.-") LOL

Tapi serious, love you pretty people out there! ;) Thanks for sticking around :)

And to my ever-so-understanding mama, I love you always, you know that ;)

Abah handsome I love you too. Missing your wise simple words :)

Nasi lemak

Menu hari ini. Nasi lemak sambal ayam.

What happened to your fish diet? Ahaha ponteng fish diet for a day. Hangat-hangat tahi ayam betul.

Btw, lawa la plak gambar captured by my phone's camera. pewwit pewwit

Thank youu,

for asking :)

you know, that simple insignificant message asking on updates made me smile and made my day :)

-diva.

Ngantuk

Am..so..sleepy...need...help...zZzZzZ.

Ok let's post something crappy to refresh the sleepiness! *ceh memang nak post dari tadi pun*

Well well well. Just now my stomach tells me she's hungry, and saw a few baguettes left so better make use of them.Don't want rice or anything heavy. But need to think of something to eat the baguette with. Yesterday we tried baguette with potato n leek soup. So off I went to tesco alone. Looking for potential guys food.

Because exams are approaching, so it's better to start on a healthy diet. A fish diet. Why? Sebab omega-3 blablabla. Haktuihh. Since when have you started concerning on stuff you shoved through your throat hah? Haha whatever. Anyways, I bought cans of canned sardines, mackerel, tuna. Canned fish? Canned food in general sihat ke? Ahahaha whatever. But fish diet in general is of course, healthier. Go google. Here.

So yeah, the few baguettes left were utilized to the max! Easy recipe babyhh! Took out the red chilli pepper or capsicum, sliced some onions, smash the mackerel into pieces and spread onto the baguette, sprinkle some mozarella cheese, black pepper, wallaa. 5minit sahaje. Masuk oven, cheese melts, masuk perut, baru diam sikit. Not that mouth-watering delicious sedap nak pengsan kinda way but enough to make an empty stomach happy :) Fish diet seems easy and quick, not tedious. Takyah basuh ayam berlemak berminyak-minyak. I might stick to it for a while ;)

Mackerel fillet is the first victim.

Oh btw, mackerel doesn't taste as yummy as haddock. Taste ala2 sardine. huhu

And because I am a lazy bum when it comes to drinking water, all that talk about drinking 8 glasses of water a day or you'll dehydrate and die blablabla never actually worked on me.haha So I sliced a piece of fresh lemon and throw it into the plain mineral water, the Hanis Zalikha way ;) Bajet nak jadi model kan kau? hahaha Since then, this is my third glass of plain water. Terlebih minum la pulak. Sedappp, and healthy :) Lemon sebijik 50sen je. And it's worth your health :)

Ok this is what makes me and Nisha excited yesterday at tesco. MALAYSIAN KING PRAWN LAKSA? whatthefish. haha excited terlebih.

Makanlah ikan dan minumlah lemon. Feels like running a campaign for GAYA HIDUP SIHAT -.-"

Tiba-tiba terpanjang la pulak post ini. Sorry bosan and wasting your time.

Ok nerd mode balik (*.*).

Corpus striatum is....zZzZzZ

Selfish.

Semalam tengah membaca. Dan terjumpa ini. Dan sungguh terasa.

"Sesungguhnya Allah tidak menganiaya manusia sedikitpun, akan tetapi manusia jualah yang menganiaya diri mereka sendiri."- 10:44

Lately I didn't treat myself well. Bukan salah Dia pun, salah kau la, menzalimi + menganiaya diri sendiri. Makan sambil lewa. Study sambil lewa. Tidur banyak melampau. Subuh gajah dinosaur. Fikir benda tak penting.

Then berat tak normal. Results exam tak cantik. Mata lebam-lebam. Then sedih tak tentu pasal.Kesian badan+otak+hati kau.Then nak salahkan siapa? God? pfft -.-"

Diri sendiri yang decide to torture diri sendiri. So salah diri sendiri la.

Kalau sayang diri sendiri, have to start changing. Everything. Walaupun macam dah lambat untuk insaf, tapi better late than never at all kan? Kena selfish. Makan utk badan SENDIRI yg sihat. Study utk results SENDIRI yg cantik.Macam annoying pulak bunyi post ni banyak sangat perkataan "SENDIRI" lol

kne start ingat study more? hahaha. If at this point I put my study aside, how pathetic would I be. No honey study is my priority now. Actually not only now, it has always been my priority. If not what's the purpose of them sending me here. Only sometimes because I'm human, I forget, but thanks for reminding anyways. So no worries, aite?

Kalau malas sekarang how in the world can you end up being a doctor?

And where in the world will you put your face dah bagi malu parents dengan fail?

And how in the world can you face all your little cousins who said they wanna be a doctor like kak ika tapi kak ika fail?

And who in the world would want to take you as a wife if you're a total failure now?

(eh last part ni macam over pulak hahaha)

Saya berjanji tidak akan menganiaya diri sendiri dengan tidak study bersungguh-sungguh+menyesal kemudian hari, dan akan menyayangi diri sendiri dengan study penuh jihad.

Apehal blogging lagi ni. Study sana shuh shuh